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Funny satire stories about Rand Paul

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Funny story: Was Sean Hannity once Anderson Cooper's lover?

Was Sean Hannity once Anderson Cooper's lover?

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Fox News' Sean Hannity is the self-confessed, "Most Undeniably Heterosexual Man on TV." CNN's Anderson Cooper is a self-confessed gay man on TV. One would think there could never be any sort of link up between the two men, i...

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Funny story: Ann Coulter shows her tits on Fox News...no one notices!

Ann Coulter shows her tits on Fox News...no one notices!

FOX NEWS NATION - Republican pin up girl, Ann Coulter, flashed her breastesesses (ahem) on the Fox News Sunday program. The panel of six well known conservative pundits were talking about Obama's embassy staff's cowardly apologies to the A-rab terr...

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Funny story: Senator Rand Paul: France a "great place, except for the 'effing' French!"

Senator Rand Paul: France a "great place, except for the 'effing' French!"

BLUEGRASS, KY (ABSNN)-Editor's Note: It would appear that our journalist, Francois Dubois, S.J. has "gone native" in this piece and true objectivity is totally off his table. He actually told me that, for one brief moment, he was in total shock to...

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Funny story: Ron Paul said to be victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion!

Ron Paul said to be victim of Spontaneous Human Combustion!

DALLAS, TX (ABSNN)-Ron Paul, Texas Congressman and Republican Presidential also-ran, burst into flames this morning while awaiting an interview with Today's Matt Lauer. His body was completely consumed while sitting in a make-up chair prior to the 9...

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Funny story: Alien abducts Rand Paul, releases him unharmed

Alien abducts Rand Paul, releases him unharmed

PAULVILLE KY (ABSNN) -- Senator Rand Paul (R) from Kentucky, reported today that he had been abducted by the same alien responsible for last week's impregnation of twenty-six South Carolinia high school girls. "It was really an exciting evening,"...

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Funny story: Is Medicare Developing a Nuclear Bomb?

Is Medicare Developing a Nuclear Bomb?

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky - Senator-elect Rand Paul (R-KY) has presented documents showing that in recent years Medicare has purchased enormous amounts of nuclear and radioactive material from other nations. "I had always suspected that Medicare inte...

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Funny story: Vote for Rand Paul or Southern Boys Will Step on Your Head

Vote for Rand Paul or Southern Boys Will Step on Your Head

Republican nominee Rand Paul finally apologized to the protestor seen in a UTube video with a Rand supporter stepping on a woman's head and pinning her to the ground. The apology came after the video became viral and Paul was forced to make a state...

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Funny story: Ron Paul's Son, Peter, Says Limited Nuclear War Could Be Just What We Need To Get Country Going!

Ron Paul's Son, Peter, Says Limited Nuclear War Could Be Just What We Need To Get Country Going!

Peter Paul, son of Ron Paul and little brother to Rand Paul who is running for the Senate in Kentucky next month, has even managed to startle his own family a bit. "Yeah, that kid", stated Ron Paul, shaking his head. "He's a lot more liberal than...

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Funny story: Connection Made Between Rand Paul and Bong Hits for Jesus

Connection Made Between Rand Paul and Bong Hits for Jesus

Just hours after the story broke in GQ magazine about the woman claiming to have been kidnapped and made to smoke pot from a bong by Rand Paul, another bombshell has hit the newsstands-Rand Paul may be the person behind the pop culture saying "Bo...

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Funny story: Ron and Rand Paul Demand Drag Queen RuPaul Change His Name

Ron and Rand Paul Demand Drag Queen RuPaul Change His Name

Ron Paul and Rand Paul, the father/son Libertarians who are doing everything they can to take this county in a totally different direction, are having a hard time convincing people of their sincerity with performers like RuPaul still on the scene. Th...

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Funny story: Virginia Invites Kentucky to be its Sister State after Rand Paul Win

Virginia Invites Kentucky to be its Sister State after Rand Paul Win

Richmond, VA - The Virginia Governor has introduced a measure to the Virginia House of Representatives that formally invites the state of Kentucky to be Virginia's sister state. Normally, a state will invite a foreign state (as in outside of the...

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Funny story: Foreskinheads angered over public Lesbian nude ballet

Foreskinheads angered over public Lesbian nude ballet

HARDIN KY (ABSNN) -- Bill Pilant, Grand Wizard Deluxe of the Hardin White Supremist Foreskinheads, LLC, led a group of sixty like-minded dickheads in a march to protest public Lesbian nude ballet which they termed "just a bunch of really ugly, fat ch...

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Funny story: Rand Paul: "I would Love to be Treated Like an Old Black Sharecropper"

Rand Paul: "I would Love to be Treated Like an Old Black Sharecropper"

Hot off his victory in the Kentucky republican primary Libertarian canididate Rand Paul, son of Congressman Ron Paul from Texas, strove today to position himself as a man of the people. "I strive today to position myself as a man of the people," he s...

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Funny story: "Only Good Injuns Are Dead Injuns" States US Senate Candidate

"Only Good Injuns Are Dead Injuns" States US Senate Candidate

Rand Paul, candidate for the US Senate in Kentucky, has reportedly stated in a closed meeting of his supporters that "The only good Injun is a dead Injun." Of the one hundred constituents at the meeting, many were wearing coonskin caps and carrying l...

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Funny story: Gang War Brewing Between Tea Party Movement and the GOP

Gang War Brewing Between Tea Party Movement and the GOP

Hicksville, USA - "You put him out there, now you reel him in, and fast," said Senator John Bohner (R-Ohio), who surprised everyone with his sudden outrage directed at this young, Strom Thurmond-esque uber conservative known as Rand Paul, "or I'll ma...

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