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Funny satire stories about Rafa Benitez

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Funny story: Liverpool boss not to be sacked, honest

Liverpool boss not to be sacked, honest

Liverpool managing director Christian Purslow has insisted team manager Rafael Benitez's position is safe, after the club failed to make it to the group stage of the Champions League for the first time in six years. Purslow said: 'OK, I'm not givi...

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Funny story: Rafa to consider player/manager role at Pool

Rafa to consider player/manager role at Pool

There was no shortage of drama today, ahead of this evenings champions league fixtures. Liverpool Manager Rafa Benitez claimed he could return to the playing field if the current form of his side does not improve. "I knew we were lacking depth. Wi...

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Funny story: Benitez plays the "race card" on recent criticism

Benitez plays the "race card" on recent criticism

Liverpool Manager Rafael Benitez has blasted back at his critics, in a furious public tirade shortly before he was scheduled for his pre-match press conference ahead of Liverpool's champions league encounter with Lyon. "All the time I hear what t...

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Funny story: Rafa Benitez subs wife during Sunday Lunch

Rafa Benitez subs wife during Sunday Lunch

Liverpool Manager Rafa Benitez reportedly substituted his wife yesterday while she was half way through cooking an important Sunday lunch for a group of his English 'amigos'. According to other guests at the Spaniard's palacial Cheshire Villa, Mrs...

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Funny story: Benitez Faces 'Bloody Sunday' Without Stevie G

Benitez Faces 'Bloody Sunday' Without Stevie G

Looks like today is shit or bust time for Rafa Benitez as his under fire team take on Sir Alex Ferguson's Manchester United team at Anfield. Without totemic inspiration Stevie Gerrard. The Liverpool club's American owners have never been big fa...

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Funny story: Benitez Sacked By Liverpool, Beach Ball To Take Coaching Position

Benitez Sacked By Liverpool, Beach Ball To Take Coaching Position

Rafa Benitez has been sacked as manager of Liverpool FC following yet another defeat. The board took their decision immediately after the defeat by Lyon in the Champions League. Sammy Lee, Benitez's assistant is to take charge of first team affairs w...

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Funny story: Lose it now, Rafa!

Lose it now, Rafa!

Rafa Benitez is reportedly on a new diet program as he's determined to be as fit as ever for the start of the season. The discipline will be crucial having in mind limited breakfast portions consisted of "...three sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese,...

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Funny story: Benitez Slams Cash Obsessed City

Benitez Slams Cash Obsessed City

Rafa Benitez, manager of Liverpool, slammed Manchester City as being "cash obsessed". Speaking at a press conference called to unveil his new budget signing, £17 million Glen Johnson, Benitez said "I've tried to sign lots of players, but manchester C...

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Funny story: Rafael Benitez apologises to Sir Alex Ferguson and Sam Allardyce

Rafael Benitez apologises to Sir Alex Ferguson and Sam Allardyce

Rafael Benitez confounded his critics by apologising to Alex Ferguson and Sam Allardyce at a hastily convened press conference earlier today. The normally calm and business like Benitez looked emotional as he said, "When I reviewed the footage fr...

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Funny story: Kenny Dalglish Being Lined-Up As Next Liverpool Manager

Kenny Dalglish Being Lined-Up As Next Liverpool Manager

There were rumblings all across Merseyside tonight, as Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish was rumoured to be returning to the club to take up a position in the Reds' youth set-up, but some people at the club believe there is more to it than that. Dal...

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Funny story: Rafa Benitez gesture to Sam Allardyce explained

Rafa Benitez gesture to Sam Allardyce explained

The controversial gesture made by Liverpool FC manager Rafa "Chief Akimwolo" Benitez at the Blackburn dugout last week has been identified, not as implying that the game was over, but as an ancient Aztec gesture. The Liverpool manager has been rec...

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Funny story: Alex Ferguson launches new conflict with Benitez

Alex Ferguson launches new conflict with Benitez

Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of Manchester United, allowed his emotions to get the better of him last night as he launched a new battle of both words and actions against his long time foe, Rafa Benitez. Speaking live on TV Ferguson repeatedly referr...

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Funny story: Liverpool Boss In Big Sam Drink Slight

Liverpool Boss In Big Sam Drink Slight

Big Sam Allardyce has complained that Rafa Benitez did not meet him for a drink after the recent Liverpool v Blackburn match. "It's so typical of the bloke. Any decent English bloke knows a few beers after the match is the way it's done. He just i...

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Funny story: Benitez claims he is not balding

Benitez claims he is not balding

The useless manager of Liverpool FC, Rafael Benitez, has once again proved his idiocy by, this time, claiming he is not on the verge of baldness. The thinning manager (and by thinning I categorically do NOT mean his torso) is known for his tenden...

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Funny story: Curse of Fergie le Fey goes wrong

Curse of Fergie le Fey goes wrong

A curse cast on Sir Raffaelot, a knight of the round football of Kop, by evil wizard and jouster Fergie le Fey today went badly wrong. Fergie had used his diabolical powers many times on his enemies before, including Lord Workev of New Castle, and...

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Funny story: British Banks critiscise Liverpool FC actions after Robbie Keane sale

British Banks critiscise Liverpool FC actions after Robbie Keane sale

A number of British banks have pointed to the "erratic" and "poorly executed" business decisions made by Liverpool FC and specifically Rafa Benitez today. The statements came almost immediately after Robbie Keane, bought by Liverpool in the summer...

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Funny story: Benitez : Keane to be nationalised

Benitez : Keane to be nationalised

Anfield was left reeling this afternoon, after Liverpool manager Rafa 'Rafa' Benitez announced that Robbie Keane would not start in the nearly-top-of-the-table clash against millionaire playboys Chelsea of West London. 'Keane will not start,' said...

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