Bloomington, Minnesota, July 1, 2010 -- A huge convention of Catholic ex-priests descended on the Mall of America today for the purpose of paying special attention to the area's children. "It's only once per year that we get to play Santa for the...
After the many recent scandals involving the Roman Catholic church and sex, there was only a muffled silence this morning when it was announced that a Catholic priest had been found who was 'completely normal' . The priest, identified from thousan...
Following yet another explosive news report where Tiger Woods is accused of an extra-marital affair, this time with a local girl he met when she was 14, Woods announced that he may leave golf and his wife in favor of a simpler life in the priesthood.
Vatican - It appears that Pope Benedict XVI has had an epiphany with regards to the sex scandal that has continued to plague the Catholic Church-lack of fish in a priest's diet can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior toward young men. The Pope h...
Osama Bin Laden, the former terrorist, announced his retirement and subsequent acceptance for priesthood in the Catholic Church. Encouraged by the fact that the world considered the 911 attack a hoax Father Laden completed the conversion with a press...
After a wild binge drinking session German protestant "High Priestess", Frau Kaessmann, admitted to being totally plastered, jumping in her VW Phaeman, driving through 5 red lights and hitting a lampost dressed as GOD! (well in her state she would ha...
The hierarchy of the Catholic Church is worried. They need deeper penetration of the world's youth. They have a powerful need to get deep inside the young people of today, and plant the seed of Jesus inside them. It is urgent. "We're going to give them a WELT," says the Vatican. Although the Church counts its flock in the hundreds of millions, numbers in developed, white, important countries...
A survey by the Universidad de Roma found that American Priests do not follow Catholic norms. While the Catholic ministers from the United States seem to be constatntly in the news for their sexual exploits and conquests of little boys, the average...
The rural town of Ahsbourne is well known for its closely-knit community, its efficient farm produce, and most of all - its loyal church goers. Every sacred Sunday, congregations gather within St. John's Church to indulge the cherished preachings...
An American priest has outraged his parish by taking them for fools after it was revealed that he had an alternate motive for wanting everyone to close their eyes when r. Smoking Jones, a New-Yorker priest, admits to using the time when everyone i...
(Vatican City) - The Vatican today announced that anyone attempting to ordain a woman into the priesthood would be excommunicated, as would the woman herself. The decree was signed by Cardinal William "Misogy" Levada, prefect of the congre...
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli decided that there was no better way to get closer to God than to tie himself to hundreds of balloons and fly up to the Lord himself.
Vatican - (Embalming Mess): In what has been described as a god awful embarrassment for the Vatican the exhumed body of stick martyr Padre Pio has suddenly sprouted breasts.
Following a spate of scandals the Catholic Church hierarchy has decreed that all priests, bishops and cardinals are to be issued with dildos.
In an effort to increase the number of straight, heterosexual priests, the Vatican introduced a new habit for nuns. The new clothing, which more closely resembles a very skimpy Roman toga, is designed to make men want to be around women more. In...
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie secretly married this weekend in a secret wedding somewhere in Africa. No details are known of the ceremony, except that the children that they have adopted from 167 different countries all served as bridesmaids, groomsm...
When they first began on their journey to creating an entire sex-related empire, Havinghurst Dewurst and his wife had little idea it would have put their lives at danger. These sex entrepreneurs are claiming their sex industriousness is fraught by a...
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