MANHATTAN – (Satire News) – Scandal Today has just learned that Trump’s favorite child, the 6-foot-tall bleached blonde Amazon woman does in fact have a landing strip. ST reporter Cheyenne Patio spoke with Ivanka’s massage therapist, who confirmed…
CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee – (Satire News) – Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle, reports that Donald Trump Jr’s., girlfriend, Kimberly Guilfoyle, traveled to Tennessee to visit an ex-boyfriend, who owes her $13,805. While there she spoke at a ral…
RICHMOND, Virginia – (Satire News) – BuzzFuzz has just made it known that the Virginia Legislature has voted to ban all kinds of vaginal porn; including slow-motion vaginal porn. The vote barely passed by a 52 to 48 margin. Senator Clyde P. Bacon,…
LOMPOC, California – (Satire News) – Roy and Deena Nishfitt of Lompoc recently received the shock of their married life. The couple, who have been married for 27 years recently came home from an evening of drinking, dining, and dancing and were sh…
In the midst of continuing lockdowns, vaccine passports, and widespread censorship, the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases has reported a troubling new addiction on the rise among male-identifying neoliberals: a media genre sensati…
HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – The American Porn Movie Guild has just voted the old Linda Lovelace film, “Deep Throat – The Dental Visit” the #1 porn film of all time. The movie was the very first film to receive an XX rating. Some of the scenes were…
Sir Topham Hatt from the beloved children's show 'Thomas the Tank Engine' is reportedly on the run from the law this morning after it was learned he's at the center of a vast, 20+ year "deviant pornography" ring. Sir Hatt was questioned last year…
Well, it looks like porn is not just for young people anymore. Longtime North Andover resident and world famous entrepreneur Pepi McFain today announced his plans to launch a porn channel for the elderly. “We’re targeting ages 65 and up which, on…
London, England - After years of insinuation and speculation, UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, finally admitted that he was, indeed, a bloody Muppet. "Surprise, surprise!" said pretty much everybody. The news came only a day after Kermit The F…
DETROIT – (Satire News) – The company that owns the Porn Hub website, Raging Libido, Inc., is thrilled to announce that the amount of users has increased by a whopping 815%. Adele Mizzen, a spokeswoman for the porn site, told the news media that t…
A naughty boy who had been sent to bed an hour before his usual bedtime for being cheeky to his mum and dad, exacted an evil revenge on them by doing just as he was told to do, and then browsing through some pornographic literature he'd 'borrowed' fr…
There was a huge controversy at the very end of the 2020 London Marathon this morning, when the winner revealed that he had crossed the finishing line with a stonking erection poking out of his running shorts. The Virtual London Marathon, I mean.
A story that has been hovering around a satirical news and parody website since 2007, is still proving popular with the punters, it's been reported. The story entitled "2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies At 22" was written by someone called Kirk Scott on…
A man and his wife from Brighton have told friends of how a cosy night in front of the television turned into a major incident, after they became embroiled in an argument over the last Rolo. Just to clear this up, they're both from Brighton, not j…
Like other industries, porn companies are doing a lot of soul-searching after a large number of people have suddenly realised that racism is wrong. Director of Cockfilm Ltd, Geoff Cockfilm, explained. "It's not that we can't depict slavery on scre...
Washington D.C. - White House staffers have told reporters that the President has been stockpiling some pretty raunchy reading material for his Presidential Library, which will be constructed at his birthplace, which records show was a steaming cessp...
The 2003 Walt Disney movie 'Lilo and Stitch' was a firm favorite with film fans, and sprouted sequels galore, but a man has said that, despite the massive exposure of the characters over the years, he still doesn't know which is Lilo, and which is St...
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