A well-loved 81-year black Supreme Court Judge is the latest in a series of totally innocent people of colour arrested or beaten by North American police. Selwyn Romilly, who was the first black appointee to the British Columbia Supreme Court, wa…
Sir Topham Hatt from the beloved children's show 'Thomas the Tank Engine' is reportedly on the run from the law this morning after it was learned he's at the center of a vast, 20+ year "deviant pornography" ring. Sir Hatt was questioned last year…
Whatever became of the billy club? In Turner Classic black-and-white films, police officers walked the beat in twos, billy clubs at the waist, know their neighborhood, the residents by name, and never have shoot outs or speed through streets in squad…
Newly ennobled peer Lord Bent has been awarded his title for services to government communications. Beginning in a small way by delivering brown envelopes, he went on to found Bakkanders, liaising between government, civil service and (very) priv…
KARACHI, Pakistan – (World Satire) - A nine-month-old Pakistani baby was charged with assault, after he threw a baby toy dipped in chlorozintic acid at a gas meter reader. The baby’s parents along with the baby were arrested, and taken into custo…
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – A CIA investigation has revealed that the Trump International Hotel charged certain visiting dignitaries as much as twice the going rate for a luxury suite, and may be shut down. RumorLand News reported that Pre…
Sometimes, you think you've seen everything, but then you see something to make you realize you haven't, and that was exactly the case earlier today when a man who thought he had seen everything, saw something else to make him realize he hadn't. A…
MANCHESTER, England - (Satire News) – Manchester police are reporting that Mr. and Mrs. Nigel Ticklewine were having a bit of a sexual encounter, when they heard a strange pecking sound outside their third-floor apartment window. Since the couple…
Police in Washington, DC have announced that they are keen to interview an individual in connection with tax evasion, fraud, sexual assault, hate crimes, racist behavior, kidnapping and imprisoning children, and other offences likely to bring the goo…
A rape victim who dialled 911 when the man whose house she was visiting unexpectedly raped her, but got the house number wrong because she had never been there before, and was suffering from PTSD from the attack, was yesterday convicted of murder, wh…
In a triumph for justice, a 56-year-old theft was finally solved today, and the perpetrator brought to book. Eddie Gleeson, 97, of Middlesbrough, was arrested after a successful police sting outside the city's central library yesterday. Criminal…
There was a 'tumbleweed moment' at a local police station yesterday, as a man being released from custody, and told to report back to the station next week, gave a cheery goodbye to the uniformed member of staff, telling him: "See you next Tuesday…
A foaming nutjob from the Metropolitan Police has announced, today, that they will publicly arrest Highgate Cemetery in London for breaking the new 'Rule of Six', which comes into force on Monday. "It's a public place!" they announced. "And there'…
After his disastrous holiday trip to the Greek island of Mykonos last week, it was 'back to the grind' for the Manchester United and England defender Harry Maguire today, but there was more bad news awaiting him when he arrived at Old Trafford for tr…
Police in South Africa have said their investigation into the death of the world's oldest man has already started, and that they will leave no stone unturned in their battle to find out just what happened. Fredie Blom, who was 116 when he died, wa…
Police acting on an anonymous tip-off have made what they are calling "a major coup", after a man was arrested, in broad daylight, carrying a plastic bag containing a large amount of rubber bands. The man, in his 50s, was apprehended whilst walkin…
The somewhat small but enthusiastic world of collectable lawn mowers is today buzzing with excitement as a crime victim is reunited with his beloved stolen Hickston-Brax 4 stroke cylinder lawn mower. Brian Anorak, who was temporarily only in posse…
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