London - A stargazers convention has deplored an official 2005 NASA description of Eris as a 'frigid dwarf' and declared it a load of sexist bollox. Astrologers Anonymous sources said today the minature planet has been slandered by an internationa...
Investigators in Florida are trying to determine why beloved celebrity doggie Pluto committed the first reported murder in Celebration, Florida; a distinctly creepy, Stepford-Wives-type knit town that was conceived and built by the Walt Disney Co.
At first this was attributed to just plain old embarrassment. After all, Pluto was demoted in 2006, being told that he was just a "dwarf planet." Pluto's still blushing about that one. But further investigation by scientists has revealed the real ca...
Paris, France - Patrick Phair, son of the now deceased Venetia Burney, the girl who had been the only woman on Earth to name a planet, is counter-suing the International Astronomical Union for damages. In dispute again is Pluto, and whether it sho...
HOUSTON, Texas - Pluto has done it again. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced this morning that the 'dwarf planet' Pluto would be downsized to a 'disabled mass'. NASA also said "We are still considering lowering it to O...
Poor Pluto has been demoted from one of the seven planets, recently called a Plutoid by International Astronomical Union and now diagnosed as a hemorrhoid on the ass of Neptune.
Cape Canaveral, Florida (IP) - NASA has recalled the New Horizons mission to Pluto. The space craft is performing a U-turn and will return to Earth as commanded.
Attorney at Law, Harvey Birdman, has filed suit against the International Astronomical Union (IAU) on behalf of his client, Pluto, for claiming that Pluto is no longer a planet. Through his interpreter at a press conference Pluto stated "being c...
Anaheim Calif, Disney Land - Pluto blew a cog after being assaulted in the family jewels by a youngster yesterday morning. Pluto chased the youth around and around a fountain after losing his cool. This just goes to show even cartoons can only take...
When he heard that Congressman William Jefferson had been indicted on bribery charges, former President William Jefferson Clinton felt that his own name was toast. He quickly changed it to former President John Doe Clinton.
NEWS RELEASE - PLUTO EVICTED: No Longer A Planet...
Since to "pluto" means "to demote or devalue someone or something," perhaps not everyone would be delighted to discover that such a word was derived from one's own name.
DUNCAN DONUTS, Fla. -- A spacecraft will begin a voyage to Pluto soon, according to NASA.
Washington (July 7) --- Earlier this morning President Bush revealed his new project. Lucky I happened to be hiding, at the time, in the white houses' front gardens. I was one of the first to hear the news. He stood out on the front steps and in...
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