Arlington, Va - Defense Department lawyers have described today's decision by UK Home Secretary Theresa May as a 'tit-for-tat knee-jerk response' to a 1998 US Justice Department failure to extradite a bent UK judge 'who was too depressed to face tria...
Turkmenistan - Pentagon officials today released satellite images of what they say is a new weapons-grade mud enrichment facility north of Balkanabat, in Turkmenistan. Military experts say the brown, highly-refined paste is virtually undetectable, an...
Humanity's fate was sealed earlier today when a vial containing the genetically engineered super virus known as "EbolaThrax" was dropped at a secure lab facility deep within the Pentagon. Multiple contributing factors are apparently to blame for the...
BILLINGSGATE POST - The Pentagon is currently deciding what disciplinary action will be taken for President Obama's gloating over his successful assassination of Osama bin Laden twelve months ago. Just recently, the four Marines snipers who were p...
Colorado Springs - "Silly excuse for naked revelry around a bonfire during the full moon!" is how one scornful US general put it as news of the Pentagon funding broke this week. However for the US military's motley crew of wiccans, pagans and asso...
(LSM) - The Pentagon is considering the use of military force against cyberattacks. This decision came after hackers breached the Pentagon's Facebook page, changing the military's relationship status with Afghanistan from "in a civil union with" to t...
A Pentagon whistle-blower has revealed that the government are planning to clone alien life forms, using DNA samples from three dead aliens recovered from Roswell in 1946 and cryogenically preserved for decades. The whistle-blower explained that c...
The US Pentagon announced that it had found the entire Afghanistan war strategy, which had been "accidentally" lost, on the Wikileaks website this week. "Thank goodness for Wikileaks", exclaimed an exasperated General David H. Petraeus who is the...
Reportedly taking advantage of the press coverage provided by the WikiLeaks website, groups of vandals are riding the publicity bandwagon by engaging in some leakage activity of their own, on government buildings in the Washington D.C. area. Yello...
WASHINGTON - "Why do I need a billion-dollar stealth fighter when I can just shove these chopsticks into your eye sockets," Hillary Clinton told this reporter over lunch at her favorite K Street sushi bar. "I like this place. The food is always fre...
The Pentagon says that pay-TV retards Cablevision are responsible for the 'glitch' which disrupted communication between 50 nuclear missiles and a launch control center over the weekend, although the Air Force never lost the ability to blow up the en...
Back during the last years of glorious Wwii, the Department of War filmed a series of movies entitled "Why We Fight." They showed the Germans rounding up millions of Jews and killing them. The purpose of the movies was to enrage the American GI's a...
Space - (The Final Affrontiere): Conspiracy theorists yesterday blamed the virus for thousands of computerised supermarket till crashes in the UK. But the existence of a secret Pentagon space station installation, said to be monitoring the Stuxnet...
The Pentagon today announced that in keeping with the President's unofficial request to keep spending to a minimum, it would henceforth be purchasing many items used from the popular auction site, eBay at considerably less than they would cost if bou...
HOLLYWOOD/WASHINGTON D.C./PERTH AMBOY, NEW JERSEY - ATTENTION READERS: Due to an extended series of online complaints (plus, one - thankfully - unsuccessful bomb threat, inadvertently discovered at London's Charring Cross Station this past week by a heavy-footed MPA officer when he apparently tripped over the unattended package/suspect device in question, while otherwise in the close-quarter proce...
Nearly 200 nations, corporations and rabid religious sect signatories of the Nuclear War Image Enhancement Treaty (NWIET), have agreed to agree to work towards a toned down nuclear-weapons zone in the Middle East. The members, meeting at the UN i...
The U.S military has begun an urgent high level inquiry into the events of today. No car bombs were reported from Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, India, Spain, or anywhere else in the world. In addition to these worrying developments, North Korean Presi...
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