In a shocking but awe-inspiring turn of events, two seemingly intractable enemies, Nature and the vacuum, have finally made peace. It has long been known that "Nature abhors a vacuum." And indeed, scientists and theologians alike had considered th...
After roughly half a million years of hatred and war, mankind have finally packed it in. The abrupt move from 'pretty dismal' to 'just groovy' occurred after someone at Cheney School, Oxford, asked during lunch break, "Why don't we just stop all t...
'The only way to get Peace is to go to War' announced a world leader who has asked not to be named, in case someone decides to bump him off. This was capped by George Unwell who remarked that 'War is Peace', explaining how peaceful the world would be after a everyone had disappeared in a cloud of dust. 'Cockroaches could thrive and no one would be able to step on them' he cried triumphantly.
The Taliban have won a bid for the rights to develop their own unique take of the hit British television show The Office. Analysts are hailing the move to create an Afghan based version of 'The Office' as a step back from the Taliban's previous refu...
Seattle, Washington - In an effort to draw attention to their cause for peace "Plankers" have planned what they are calling "Planking Across America". In this event they hope to form one continuous human plank chain over mountains, buildings and wat...
PALESTINE - In an ironic twist of events, a no-strings-attatched peace deal struck with Israel this weekend has left 90% of Palestinian families without a father. After a strong exchange of views during peace negotiations this morning, leaders on bot...
The BBC has aired a new documentary called "Normal Israelis". It looks into a group of people living in Israel called the Normal Israelis, who although previously unheard-of actually make up the majority of Israel's population. The documentary fol...
China yesterday sacked its official Chinese-to-English interpreter after it was found that translation errors had created misunderstanding about its response to the awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize. Chinese Foreign Ministry Spokesperson, using Pinyi...
NEW YORK CITY - At the Headquarters of the United Nations (UN), all the delegates agreed on a new binding doctrine for everybody on World Peace. Hold your leader to hostage. World peace, an idea thought of during the period between the world wars...
Washington--Washington offered Israel $3 billion in military aid and will not support any United Nations resolution to recognize Palestine as a sovereign nation. "We decided that the best way to get peace in the Middle East is to offer Israel lo...
In a shocking development, the President of the United States threw away his prepared 'State Of The Union' speech and gave the following off-the-cuff address to the nation: "My fellow Americans. I have decided to declare peace with the entire Musl...
The leader of Hamas, Mohammed Moeggs, today criticised President Obama over the recent Middle East peace talks. He said, "Every time there is a new American president, he comes to the Middle East to try to kick-start the peace talks between the Pa...
The village of Cocksend's local dog in a hat has asked for World Peace as a special gift for his 2nd Birthday. Speaking through an interpreter, Sparky told a crowd of journalists that he appreciates all the bones and little furry toys with bells i...
In an amazing turn of fate, Tony (call me 'Tone') Blair has been arrested for war crimes in Iraq and Afghanistan and is being held in a high security cell at The Hague Central Prison. A Spokeswoman for Blair said that being charged as a war crimin...
It's so nice of the State Department to send Imam Abdul Rauf, the "Ground Zero Imam" on a taxpayer paid goodwill tour through the Middle East. No doubt it's money well spent. Speaking in the capital of that country, Manama, Rauf loudly proclaimed that he's out to "Americanize Islam," What he exactly meant by this wasn't clarified. Some skeptics might say he was momentarily confused and meant t...
Following in the footsteps of Labourites Frank Field, John Hutton and Alan Milburn, Tony Blair is set to join the Government as an adviser. He will become the Peace Czar. This gesture from the Coalition Government to Blair is seen as an attempt to...
A proposal aimed at bridging the split between whales and sharks will almost certainly come to King Neptune for a decision this year. Sources say it could involve sharks accepting quotas below current levels; but Iceland is opposing proposed catch...
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