Chutney on the Fritz's man about town Brian Asshat has a special lifelong interest in tractors, as his search history proves, but he is now worried, that following Porn gate in Westminster, he may be viewed differently. 'Yes it was rather shocking…
MP Neil Parish has decided to step down after twice watching porn in Parliament while waiting to vote. Though it isn’t know which porn sites he was watching, a mole in government told this reporter, “We’ve heard he likes Puerto Rican girls with bi…
For centuries, the British Houses of Parliament have echoed to the fevered fapping noises of pistoning palms. It is a parliamentary procedure little known to the outside world as it is usually conducted under great secrecy, yet its days are now numbe…
Having said some nonsense about some things, the Conservative Party will shortly be announcing a kill all Kittens policy. ‘It has come to our attention' said Conservative Bod Evil O’Shay ‘that people like Kittens, so like all of the nice things in…
This morning, Prime Minister Boris Johnson made his daily apology to the country for the twentieth day in a row. "I'm really sorry," he said. "Honestly, I really am this time. I promise it won't happen again, at least for another twenty four hours."…
Chancellor Rishi Sunak has revealed that despite managing the finances of the UK, he doesn't actually know what taxes are. When asked by a journalist at a press conference, he said, "Is that what you call it? The money that all those people give to t…
Brave politician Michael Made-up, Chutney on the Fritz's leading independent MP has called President Putin names online. 'Call me controversial, but Vladimir Putin is being a bit of a Silly Sausage, isn't he?' tweeted Made-up to his three follower…
In a desperate attempt to distract attention from his failures, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has appointed top-hatted Victorian gentleman Jacob Rees-Mogg as Brexit Minister. The news comes in the same week that the government's own figures reveal…
Following the recent exodus of many MP from Westminster culture minister Nadine Dorries has her eyes on a bigger desk. 'When I am out talking about the importance of London Ballet, London Theatre and London recitals to the plebs in the outer reach…
There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.
The Government has issued a statement today saying nothing had been 'going on' and if there was they didn't know about it. The Prime Minister's (latest) spokesman said, 'It wasn't him, and it definitely wasn't me. I've only been in this job twent…
In all of the news about parties not happening, which may have only been social gatherings, no one knows where Michael Gove was. The Minister for parties, having a good time, and cheerleader for any beleaguered Conservative colleague that needed i…
The Cabinet Secretary’s secretary (no relation) has issued a strong warning that in future, before anyone with a funny name is appointed to ministerial position the Cabinet Secretary’s secretary’s secretary (look, it’s all up front, straight up) must…
LONDON – (Satire News) – England’s Parliament has decided that effective immediately the news media will be prohibited from mentioning Princess Diana in any type of news report. The action was taken due to the fact that there are many news outlets…
UK whipping boy Chris Grayling is said to be in talks with the government about how to solve many of the problems that the UK now faces. With many of the UK's best and brightest now looking for guidance, it is thought that Chris Grayling would be…
Bath dwelling scum Shane Richardson is angered that he and all of his scum friends have been compared to Conservative politicians. Outspoken Labour deputy Angela Rayner called the conservative government scum and has now offended every type of scu…
Although she has the job of Culture Secretary, Nadine Dorries, formerly a contestant on I'm A Celebrity Get me out of here, many people feel that there are other alternatives. Here we take a look at them. 1) The Krankies. - A famous Scottish comed…
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