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Funny satire stories about Pandemic

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Funny story: Hemorrhoids Cases On The Rise, As Folks Sitting Around On Their Arses All Day Long

Hemorrhoids Cases On The Rise, As Folks Sitting Around On Their Arses All Day Long

Hemorrhoids, or 'piles' as they are more lovingly known, are on the increase, it's been claimed, and it's all down to the excessive amount of lounging around people are doing during the lockdown for the deadly Coronavirus. Hemorrhoids - sometimes...

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Funny story: Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Americans Confused as to whether Getting Coronavirus Is Good or Bad

Many Americans are confused as to what fate awaits them if they become infected with the coronavirus and then recover. Will they be a pariah or superhuman? Hero or social outcast? Gasping for air or immune for life? “If I find out I’ve had it, wi...

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Funny story: CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

CDC Explains that Flattened Curve Has Become Line Extending into Infinity Meaning Lockdown Can Never End

Based on consultations with mathematical experts, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has determined that the successful “flattening of the curve” of coronavirus infections has resulted in a line extending into infinity, meaning that the C…

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Funny story: White House Runs Out Of Toilet Paper

White House Runs Out Of Toilet Paper

President Donald Trump declared a national emergency when he found out the White House had run completely out of toilet paper. He made the discovery when he was on the crapper performing a bowel movement. He ended up using the shower curtain to wip...

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Funny story: CDC Partners with Bayer AG to Disinfect the Woods

CDC Partners with Bayer AG to Disinfect the Woods

Cognizant that months of sheltering in place will have made people especially vulnerable to bacterial hazards, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has partnered with Bayer AG, which acquired what used to be Monsanto in June of 2018, to dis...

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Funny story: Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

Sweden to Be Extradited to United States for Violating American COVID-19 Guidelines

The United States is taking steps to extradite the country of Sweden, which declined to impose a nationwide lockdown in response to the coronavirus pandemic and, instead, encouraged citizens to practice good judgment and limit contact with vulnerable...

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Funny story: Scientists find a parasite in the White House

Scientists find a parasite in the White House

Washington, DC. - New epidemiological studies have found a never-before seen microbe replacing the "Leader of the Free World", President Donald Trump, with some conspiracy paranoia and total ineptitude facing the global pandemic that is taking lives.

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Funny story: CDC Reports Social Distancing Is Working! People Feeling More Distant than Ever

CDC Reports Social Distancing Is Working! People Feeling More Distant than Ever

Weeks into the COVID-19 lockdown, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouragingly reported that social distancing is working - as evidenced by the fact that people are feeling more distant than ever. “I’ve felt disconnected from frien...

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Funny story: With Help of Preventive Measures, Health-Conscious Nashvillians Support Essential Small Businesses by Buying Cigarettes Locally

With Help of Preventive Measures, Health-Conscious Nashvillians Support Essential Small Businesses by Buying Cigarettes Locally

Concerned about his 0.1- to one-percent risk of dying from COVID-19 but wishing to support local essential small businesses in economically challenging times, 33-year-old Brian Lewis of Nashville, Tennessee, continues to buy his cigarettes in person...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Momentarily Lapses from Political Correctness into Regular Correctness

Nashville Man Momentarily Lapses from Political Correctness into Regular Correctness

Triggered by a dirty look he received from a surgically-masked woman when he sauntered barefaced into a Nashville grocery store, 28-year-old Travis Kane momentarily lapsed from political correctness into regular correctness, demanding loudly, "So do...

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Funny story: Some Americans Torn between Left’s Message that Quarantining Healthy People Indefinitely Will Help Everyone and Right’s Message that We Need to Return to Burning Fossil Fuels ASAP

Some Americans Torn between Left’s Message that Quarantining Healthy People Indefinitely Will Help Everyone and Right’s Message that We Need to Return to Burning Fossil Fuels ASAP

Want to do the right thing with regard to COVID-19, but uncertain what that right thing is? If so, you're not alone. Weeks into the coronavirus lockdown, many Americans have found themselves torn between the message they are hearing from the left, th...

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Funny story: CDC Encourages Americans that Lessons They’re Learning from COVID-19 Will Serve Them Well in Next Pandemic, Which Will Likely Be More Like Leprosy

CDC Encourages Americans that Lessons They’re Learning from COVID-19 Will Serve Them Well in Next Pandemic, Which Will Likely Be More Like Leprosy

Congratulating Americans on their response to the deadly worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouraged people that they'll be able to apply the lessons they’re learning from coronavirus in the next pandemic, w...

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Funny story: Progressives Explain It’s Not Martial Law, It’s Viral Law

Progressives Explain It’s Not Martial Law, It’s Viral Law

After years of questioning United States President Donald Trump’s sweeping use of executive powers and internationally provocative militarism, American progressives, thanks to COVID-19, have embraced a sweeping infringement of civil liberties, explai...

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Funny story: Right-Wing "Pandemic Preppers" Pledge to Make America Germ-Free Again

Right-Wing "Pandemic Preppers" Pledge to Make America Germ-Free Again

Members of the right-wing movement known as the Pandemic Preppers, who have embraced COVID-19 and its trappings not just as a riveting national crisis but as a lifestyle, have tweaked the Trump “MAGA” motto to “Make America germ-free again.” Said...

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Funny story: Terminally Ill Patients Resentful They’re Not Dying From Covid-19

Terminally Ill Patients Resentful They’re Not Dying From Covid-19

(San Louis Obispo, California) The endless media bombardment that has pummeled the public from the Coronavirus pandemic, has overwhelmed the majority of us. Between continual news updates from social media, a cacophony of online broadcasts, and daily...

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Funny story: Originator of Johns Hopkins COVID-19 Dashboard Not Sure Where Data Comes From, But Says It Looks Good Enough

Originator of Johns Hopkins COVID-19 Dashboard Not Sure Where Data Comes From, But Says It Looks Good Enough

(Baltimore, Maryland) As the Coronavirus continues its spread to every inhabited corner of the planet, everyday citizens’ appetite for the disease’s telemetry has grown exponentially, mainly to enable them to debate their expertise on epidemiology on...

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Funny story: Last Line of Defense Ribbon Campaign Announced!

Last Line of Defense Ribbon Campaign Announced!

(Philadelphia, PA) Support The Ribbons, Inc. (a New York state supplier of made-in-China custom-printed magnetic ribbons) announced a new line of products specifically designed to address the needs of the true heroes of this tragic time, the Last Lin...

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