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Funny satire stories about Panda

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Funny story: Panda female bears only get "hot" 72 hours a year, many human housewives have the same problem!

Panda female bears only get "hot" 72 hours a year, many human housewives have the same problem!

The Panda bear is one of the most adored animals on the planet, unfortunately they have one problem, reproduction? It seems that female Panda's only get "hot" 72 hours in the year and during this period their male partners are either too busy devo...

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Funny story: Breakthrough in giant panda breeding

Breakthrough in giant panda breeding

A critical breakthrough has been made in efforts to save the giant panda, one that could kick-start attempts to reintroduce the animals to the wild. For many years, people have tried to get giant pandas to breed in captivity, but with little succe...

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Funny story: Lin Ping (Linping?) The Thai Panda Picks Nose And Eats It

Lin Ping (Linping?) The Thai Panda Picks Nose And Eats It

Lin Ping, the baby panda cub born and housed in Chiang Mai Zoo, Thailand in May 2009, has stunned audiences here with her most daring escapade yet - she picked her nose, and ate it! Ping, 1, performed the cavalier act whilst being filmed for her o...

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Funny story: Panda Charged With Child Neglect

Panda Charged With Child Neglect

After giving birth to twins, a panda named Boing-Boing was arrested and charged with neglect after she accidentally crushed one of them to death, zoo officials confirmed today. (In light of the fact that Boing-Boing has threatened legal action, we...

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Funny story: Panda for Points

Panda for Points

Several petrol stations across the UK have introduced a new scheme, which has the full backing of the World Wildlife Fund. Every time customers fill up on the forecourts they will be allocated WWF points. When sufficient points are gathered, the m...

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Funny story: New Restaurant, 'Kentucky Fried Panda' Opens Amidst PETA Protests!

New Restaurant, 'Kentucky Fried Panda' Opens Amidst PETA Protests!

Sacramento, CA- The controversial new fast food eatery, Kentucky Fried Panda, had it's Grand Opening this afternoon despite PETA and other environmental groups protests. Although this new fast food restaurant looks like any other of its kind, it'...

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Funny story: Panda slaughter in China continues unabated

Panda slaughter in China continues unabated

What could they possibly need with so many pandas? Some claim that since the eradication of Falun Gong worshippers the Chinese black market for organs has been in a state of panic. It would seem that panda penises are in great demand, along with livers, kidneys and hearts. In the senseless killing that has gone on unabated the curious funny bear is close to extinction. In a more recent develo...

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Funny story: Kung Fu Pandas Sent To Taiwan By Chinese Aggressors

Kung Fu Pandas Sent To Taiwan By Chinese Aggressors

China has made the first tentative steps towards an agreement with its rogue state, Taiwan, today by sending two pandas to its neighbour in the hope that it will be seen as an act of friendship, and become a platform for negotiation. Taiwanese off...

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Funny story: Next Thursday named 'Drive to work in a hollowed out Panda' day.

Next Thursday named 'Drive to work in a hollowed out Panda' day.

Following the success of campaigns such as 'ride to work day' and 'walk to work day', the international ecology organisation 'Friends of the Earths Resources' has announced that next Thursday is a day for everyone to 'Drive to work in a hollowed out...

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Funny story: Panda Wants Abortion

Panda Wants Abortion

Newscaster 1: "In other news, Fuok Yun, that adorable female Giant Panda at the Binghamton Zoo in New York has communicated with her keepers for the first time. Using touch-screen technology developed by the Primate Research Center to communicate with bonobo chimpanzees, Fuok Yun, which means "Keeper of the Moist Accessible Flower" in Chinese, has been able to hold a conversation with her human...

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Funny story: Kung Fu Panda, Zohan Lead Box Office Youth Movement

Kung Fu Panda, Zohan Lead Box Office Youth Movement

(La La Land, CA) - For the first time in weeks, geriatric action heroes and old ladies having sex took a back seat to kids who just wanted a crappy movie they could laugh at while getting stoned, as the American box office was ass-kicked into submiss...

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Funny story: Chinese Earthquake Rescue Workers Make Strange Requests For Help

Chinese Earthquake Rescue Workers Make Strange Requests For Help

Rescue workers trying to free trapped victims of the earthquake in China, have said they are in dire need of food, clothing and medical supplies, but also of several other essential items, such as hammers, cranes, rubber gloves - and...

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Funny story: Giant Panda-Eyed Hope For Scottish Zoo

Giant Panda-Eyed Hope For Scottish Zoo

Edinburgh Zoo is in negotiations with China to bring a pair of panda-eyed junkies to Scotland, and it has been proposed that a breeding pair would be on loan for 10 months, which is a junkie's life expectancy in the Capital city.

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Funny story: Snooker with String

Snooker with String

Pete is a Giant Panda who resides in Central London, very close in fact to the inner circle at Regents Park. He considers the likes of Jude Law, Sophie Ellis-Bexter and Jamie Oliver who live in trendy Primrose Hill as his neighbours.

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Funny story: Giant pandas marry outside in zoo ceremony

Giant pandas marry outside in zoo ceremony

CHIANG MAI, Thailand - Two pandas were married by a mammal-loving matrimonial minister that had nearly quit practicing until his phone rang relaying the good news. Thailand on Wednesday marks the 28th birthday of their zoo and what officials hope is...

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Funny story: Giant Robot Destroys Downtown Tokyo

Giant Robot Destroys Downtown Tokyo

The citizens of Tokyo were trying to come to terms with the latest attack of a giant robot, which destroyed the city's underwear vending machine district.

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Funny story: Panda lies worse than ever

Panda lies worse than ever

Scientists from the university of Whayestin-Timyn have published vital new evidence, in the journal 'Science Stuff' about how the lies of the Chinese government have let the breeding of pandas get out of control.

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