WEST HOLLYWOOD - Sharon Osbourne wife of rock and roll's 'Prince of Darkness' Ozzy Osbourne was asked by TV ClickerWorld's Grandiosa Littlehampton what she thought about Piers Morgan's new talk show Piers Morgan Tonight. Sharon who is not shy when...
Suffolk - (Heavy Metal Fatigue): Is an Ozzy Osbourne dark agenda behind a blazing row that's erupted at the Suffolk Tourism Board? The Black Sabbath musician is rumored to be linked to rampant insider knobbling about the popularity of Cradle of Fi...
Kelly Osbourne celebrated the festive season with a full frontal, foul-mouthed tirade on Twitter against her once great love and ex-fiance. The wannabe TV star and her model-fiance Luke Worrall split in July after she learned he had allegedly che...
Scientists who have been studying metal maniac Ozzy Osbourne's DNA, have today announced that, as suspected by many, he is ,in fact, a Neanderthal. Test results have concluded that 94% of his DNA is Neanderthal. The remaining 6% being of early West M...
With the Government's much-heralded Spending Review just days away, Economics editor, Oliver Pillbox, presents his guide to Osborne's plans. It is very clear that Ozzy and Sharon have recognised that the family finances need to be overhauled. W...
Fred Phelps, Pastor of Kansas' Wesboro Baptist Church in Washington, DC for the Supreme Court trial of the case to decide his right of free speech to picket a fallen soldier's funeral, was selling homemade CD's featuring all the songs his congregants...
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sharon Osbourne was relaxing high in the Hollywood Hills in her and husband Ozzy's $9.3 million mansion Prince of Darkness Manor. Mrs. Osbourne was sipping on a Southern Comfort while reading the latest issue of The Rolling Stone...
Heavy metal fiend George Osborne has been accused of a vicious attack today which has left people shocked and frightened. It culminated with him tearing into his pet budget with bared teeth. Osborn is no stranger to controversy. After growing up...
The self styled Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne has had his genome sequenced, joining a very select band of people. The intention is to see what kind of genetic changes have allowed him to still be alive despite decades of substance abuse. Whils...
Ozzie's latest release digs up twelve old, and not so old, songs and magically transforms them into something new and uniquely Ozzie. The title song, 'Tiptoe through the Tulips', is in name only as Ozzie has replaced his own lyrics that start with,...
Sharon Osbourne - that woman out of 'Somebody's Got Talent' - bought a new dog today on a trip out to Venice Beach. We're told that Sharon spotted the mutt in a pet store window and decided there and then that she just had to take it home with her.
Ozzie is so upset after having read Skoob1999's article in The Spoof. The one about Bogus Mothers. "What the f**k is the world coming to?" asked Ozzie. "A tell yer now for nothing. I'd rip the balls off anyone who tried to scam my Sharon like that. F***ing tossers. SHARON, SHARON. COME 'ERE. A WANT YOU TO 'EAR SOMETHING. Can you 'ang on a minute while I get Sharon down 'ere? SHARON...
Ozzie was contacted today, by one of our our writers to tell him that Becks has recently had bad news regarding the World Cup. It was thought that having spent some time recently with Becks (helping him out with a bit of impromtu speech therapy) Ozzie would want updating on Becks. His comments on hearing Becks' news was: "What the f**ck are yer telling me for? I couln't give a monkey's.
Ozzie Osbourne was interviewed earlier today about his progress on his speech therapy classes with David Beckham. "Well, I'm f****ing well giving up," began Ozzie, "It's a f***ing waste of my time. I've f****ing tried everything to 'elp 'im. Becks isn't moving forward. In fact, as far as I can see the **** is going f****ing backwards. I've been trying to 'elp 'im - 'ang on a sec......
In a surprise move, Sunday, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, announced his retirement citing that after thousands of years of initiating pestilence, wars, catastrophes and general mayhem, he was ready for a break. "The job wears you down." the G...
HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Dancing With The Stars have just announced that they have signed Kelly Osbourne's father, Ozzy Osbourne to be one of the 16 contestants on next year's edition of Dancing With The Stars. DWTS Producer Bernadette Penderl...
HOLLYWOOD - Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne's little girl, Kelly has admitted to Dancing With The Stars executives that she has burned her armpits. The British lass said that a day before the show she sprayed on some deodorant spray and it had some kind...
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