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Funny satire stories about Ozzy Osbourne

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Funny story: Spending Review: Your Guide

Spending Review: Your Guide

With the Government's much-heralded Spending Review just days away, Economics editor, Oliver Pillbox, presents his guide to Osborne's plans. It is very clear that Ozzy and Sharon have recognised that the family finances need to be overhauled. W...

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Funny story: Pastor Fred Phelps Peddles "Hell" CD on Supreme Court Steps

Pastor Fred Phelps Peddles "Hell" CD on Supreme Court Steps

Fred Phelps, Pastor of Kansas' Wesboro Baptist Church in Washington, DC for the Supreme Court trial of the case to decide his right of free speech to picket a fallen soldier's funeral, was selling homemade CD's featuring all the songs his congregants...

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Admits That 20 Years Ago Her Husband Ozzy Accidentally Rubbed Off Her G-Spot

Sharon Osbourne Admits That 20 Years Ago Her Husband Ozzy Accidentally Rubbed Off Her G-Spot

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Sharon Osbourne was relaxing high in the Hollywood Hills in her and husband Ozzy's $9.3 million mansion Prince of Darkness Manor. Mrs. Osbourne was sipping on a Southern Comfort while reading the latest issue of The Rolling Stone...

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Funny story: Osborne Bites Head Off Budget

Osborne Bites Head Off Budget

Heavy metal fiend George Osborne has been accused of a vicious attack today which has left people shocked and frightened. It culminated with him tearing into his pet budget with bared teeth. Osborn is no stranger to controversy. After growing up...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne has his DNA sequenced

Ozzy Osbourne has his DNA sequenced

The self styled Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne has had his genome sequenced, joining a very select band of people. The intention is to see what kind of genetic changes have allowed him to still be alive despite decades of substance abuse. Whils...

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Funny story: Ozzie Ozbourne Stomps Through the Tulips

Ozzie Ozbourne Stomps Through the Tulips

Ozzie's latest release digs up twelve old, and not so old, songs and magically transforms them into something new and uniquely Ozzie. The title song, 'Tiptoe through the Tulips', is in name only as Ozzie has replaced his own lyrics that start with,...

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Funny story: Sharon Osbourne Gets New Dog - Ozzy Goes Ballistic!

Sharon Osbourne Gets New Dog - Ozzy Goes Ballistic!

Sharon Osbourne - that woman out of 'Somebody's Got Talent' - bought a new dog today on a trip out to Venice Beach. We're told that Sharon spotted the mutt in a pet store window and decided there and then that she just had to take it home with her.

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Funny story: Ozzie Osbourne speaks out about Bogus Mothers ripping off people on Mothers' Day in UK

Ozzie Osbourne speaks out about Bogus Mothers ripping off people on Mothers' Day in UK

Ozzie is so upset after having read Skoob1999's article in The Spoof. The one about Bogus Mothers. "What the f**k is the world coming to?" asked Ozzie. "A tell yer now for nothing. I'd rip the balls off anyone who tried to scam my Sharon like that. F***ing tossers. SHARON, SHARON. COME 'ERE. A WANT YOU TO 'EAR SOMETHING. Can you 'ang on a minute while I get Sharon down 'ere? SHARON...

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Funny story: Ozzie Osbourne's reaction to Becks' recent injury

Ozzie Osbourne's reaction to Becks' recent injury

Ozzie was contacted today, by one of our our writers to tell him that Becks has recently had bad news regarding the World Cup. It was thought that having spent some time recently with Becks (helping him out with a bit of impromtu speech therapy) Ozzie would want updating on Becks. His comments on hearing Becks' news was: "What the f**ck are yer telling me for? I couln't give a monkey's.

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Funny story: Ozzie talks about results of Speech Therapy with Becks

Ozzie talks about results of Speech Therapy with Becks

Ozzie Osbourne was interviewed earlier today about his progress on his speech therapy classes with David Beckham. "Well, I'm f****ing well giving up," began Ozzie, "It's a f***ing waste of my time. I've f****ing tried everything to 'elp 'im. Becks isn't moving forward. In fact, as far as I can see the **** is going f****ing backwards. I've been trying to 'elp 'im - 'ang on a sec......

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Funny story: Satan To Retire - Dick Cheney To Take Over As Supreme Evil Of The Underworld

Satan To Retire - Dick Cheney To Take Over As Supreme Evil Of The Underworld

In a surprise move, Sunday, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, announced his retirement citing that after thousands of years of initiating pestilence, wars, catastrophes and general mayhem, he was ready for a break. "The job wears you down." the G...

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Funny story: Dancing With The Stars Signs Ozzy Osbourne For It's 2010 Season

Dancing With The Stars Signs Ozzy Osbourne For It's 2010 Season

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Dancing With The Stars have just announced that they have signed Kelly Osbourne's father, Ozzy Osbourne to be one of the 16 contestants on next year's edition of Dancing With The Stars. DWTS Producer Bernadette Penderl...

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Funny story: Kelly Osbourne of Dancing With The Stars Burns Her Armpits

Kelly Osbourne of Dancing With The Stars Burns Her Armpits

HOLLYWOOD - Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne's little girl, Kelly has admitted to Dancing With The Stars executives that she has burned her armpits. The British lass said that a day before the show she sprayed on some deodorant spray and it had some kind...

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Funny story: Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's Little Girl Kelly Sizzles On Dancing With The Stars

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's Little Girl Kelly Sizzles On Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - Kelly Osbourne, the 24-year-old daughter of rock and roller Ozzy Osbourne and America's Got Talent judge Sharon Osbourne won the Dancing With The Stars audience over as well as the three judges. Kelly agreed to do the show after OctuMo...

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Funny story: Sotomayor Quotes Ozzy Osbourne at Confirmation Hearing

Sotomayor Quotes Ozzy Osbourne at Confirmation Hearing

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The pungent aroma of Sotomayor asada filled the air Wednesday at the Capitol Building as prominent Republicans turned up the heat on Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, who was sweating profusely by midday under their incessant...

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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne Buys OctuMom's Neverland's Petting Zoo

Ozzy Osbourne Buys OctuMom's Neverland's Petting Zoo

SANTA BARBARA COUNTY, California - The Associated Press is reporting that the former lead singer of the British band Black Sabbath, Ozzy Osbourne has just purchased Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch's petting zoo. Neverland Ranch, a sprawling para...

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Funny story: Miley Cyrus To Tour With Ozzy Osbourne and Tony Bennett

Miley Cyrus To Tour With Ozzy Osbourne and Tony Bennett

OKLAHOMA CITY, Oklahoma - Miley Cyrus, 15, will be going on tour with Ozzy Osbourne, 59, and Tony Bennett, 82. Her personal manager claims that this tour will probably break The Rolling Stones tour record. Dexton Boyardee, an account executive wit...

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