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Funny satire stories about Online Dating

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Funny story: My life as a man #08

My life as a man #08

I really want to know just what it is about men that women dislike so much? I mean, why do you women bother with us men at all? We are no longer a biological necessity because you women conned men into tossing off in cups (HOW HARD WAS THAT?) in order to build huge genetic banks from which you may make withdrawals, so you women can pick and choose certain physical and mental traits for your...

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Funny story: Internet Dating Tips Continued - How to Read Between The Lines

Internet Dating Tips Continued - How to Read Between The Lines

As an expert on internet dating (I have been addicted to online dating for 3 years, though have yet to meet any woman willing to sleep with me) I feel I am best qualified to offer advice on how to read between the lines on what a woman actually means in her profile. Below is a list of phrases women like to use, I for some time was confused by these references, so as a favor to you all (no, please...

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Funny story: Man Sues Internet Dating Site

Man Sues Internet Dating Site

A Californian man is using internet dating giant because he claims the standard of women he is meeting is "diabolical". Henry Hurst, 46, a divorced father of 2 joined the well known matchmaking and dating site in January. In that time he has c...

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Funny story: Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 3)

Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 3)

This series of articles details some of the real (and yes, despite being a spoof site these e-mails are real) sent users on dating websites. The identity of both the sender and receiver of this e-mail have been hidden. From: BigDaddy2012 To: KittyKat Okay, your profile states you are only interested in Jewish men....did you not realize that? It put me off from contacting you earlier (no...

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Funny story: Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 2)

Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 2)

This series of articles details some of the real (and yes, despite being a spoof site these e-mails are real) sent users on dating websites. The identity of both the sender and receiver of this e-mail have been hidden. From: BigDaddy2012 To: Sugarbabylol Hi I kind of did something a little bit unorthodox, well, by that I mean....stupid..... and it has maybe backfired. I told all...

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Funny story: Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 1)

Internet Dating - How Not To Start A Relationship (Number 1)

This series of articles details some of the real (and yes, despite being a spoof site these e-mails are real) sent users on dating websites. The identity of both the sender and receiver of this e-mail have been hidden. From: BigDaddy2012 To: Cougar Barbie 1972 BIG DADDY NEEDS SOME LOVING Hi Baby, How you doing? I noticed that you have been checking out my profile and of course t...

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Funny story: Vampire Dating Site a Fangtastic Success

Vampire Dating Site a Fangtastic Success

Dating sites have had to compete in an ever more niche market area. Ads for mature dating, single parent dating, uniformed dating and illiterate darting have flooded the internet ad-sphere in recent weeks. One site has announced amazing growth in...

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Funny story: Cross dressing dating site has to close

Cross dressing dating site has to close

A web site set up to help cross dressers, transvestites and transsexuals find love with an understanding partner has been forced to close after being open only a month due to massive complaints from its customers. "When I set the site up I thought...

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Funny story: Undercover cop who impregnated suspect suddenly pops up on police dating website

Undercover cop who impregnated suspect suddenly pops up on police dating website

London - An eco campaigner who reckons she got pregnant after insemination by an undercover cop complained today his mugshot is on the home page of CoppersNark.con. "Of course now he's a Detective Superintendent I expect his subscription rate has...

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Funny story: Your Daily Flexicon: Tuesday Nov 29th

Your Daily Flexicon: Tuesday Nov 29th

Please join me each day as I reveal the words and phrases guaranteed to keep you single for a whole year. Sourced directly from the world's finest internet dating profiles, Your Daily Flexicon is the essential guide for the online dater, or indeed anyone who has a thing for typos, malapropisms and plane baad speling. This entry sticks in my mind for two reasons - it was in the very first profi...

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Funny story: Flexicon: The mangled language of online dating

Flexicon: The mangled language of online dating

Allow me to introdunce myself. Oh dear, did I just make myself look stupid? Okay, I confess: I swiped that eloquent introduction from a profile I spotted on an internet dating site. You see, I had decided to try online dating and I was spending some time checking out the site, getting a feel for the kinds of people who were on there. It didn't take me long to realise that the search for a per...

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Funny story: How will Online Dating Sites Protect Women from Assholes?

How will Online Dating Sites Protect Women from Assholes?

Online dating has taken a turn for the better this week when the most popular online dating site decided to screen for sex offenders. Women everywhere can applaud their efforts in trying to keep dating safe. The online dating site, while making...

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Funny story: New Microsoft dating site sees the return of the paperclip

New Microsoft dating site sees the return of the paperclip

Following in the footsteps of giants such as Match.com and eHarmony, Microsoft have now ventured into the amorous world of online dating. Coined as Microsoft Match 3.1, the website promises all the usual benefits such as profile matching but with one...

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Funny story: Man sues online dating service for prostitution solicitation; Offers male baggage carrier services

Man sues online dating service for prostitution solicitation; Offers male baggage carrier services

A Miami man sued the online dating service eDateMe on Thursday, alleging its membership fee is used to solicit prostitution from its own members. Allan George said he was solicited several times to have sex since eDateMe has allowed existing gay and...

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Funny story: Online Dating typo led to torture session claims CIA lover

Online Dating typo led to torture session claims CIA lover

An unfortunate typing error led to an Ohio woman enduring an hour-long ordeal of torture by a man she met online. The man, Gerald Smarts, who claims to work for the CIA, said that he thought it was what she wanted. The woman, who asked not to be...

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Funny story: Free Online Dating Service Expands to Europe

Free Online Dating Service Expands to Europe

"Two as One", the free online and wildly successful matchmaker dating service will be expanding operations to Western Europe this summer. Started as a rogue idea, akin to the business model found with the use of free or "shareware" internet soft...

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Funny story: Fr. Francois' Confessional #08

Fr. Francois' Confessional #08

Dear Fr. Francois: I am a 16-year-old Catholic High School Student from West Bumfuck, Indiana. I guess I am an average looking guy; I don't have a lot of zits, two heads, monkey ears, or six toes on my left foot or anything. I am reasonably fit and play basketball and football for my school. Whatever the reason, I just can't seem to get a date with a girl, any girl. So, I signed up for th...

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