California - A kilo of Sonoma County Best macrobiotic organic lactose-free olive oil salad dressing has nudged $49.99 for the first time since the OPEC crudites crisis of '99. In brisk trading on the Nasduck Monday the price of restaurant-grade av...
Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...
Chancellor Georgie MacOsbourne was today jubilant after accountants totted up Scotland's declared wealth. An immediate windfall tax has been approved of £100 per year per Scottish person. The normally canny and some say downright mean Scottish peo...
Liverpool, A homeless man forced to dig for a better way of life struck oil yesterday. Joe Murphy (50) originally from Bootle but homeless for the last 5 years due to devastating Tory cuts in welfare and unemployment assistance will now receive round...
Washington DC - The Secret Service has discovered $20m of fuel is missing from a pipeline running under the West Wing, part of the Biden-Keystone** strategic reserve. A probe into its upstream reservoir feed this weekend found clear signs of tamp...
The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...
Washington - Iran's Ayatollahs are offering to pour oil on troubled waters by sending a 100,000-strong pisskeeping farce to neighboring Iraq. A lot of Russian-sourced hardware like ground-to-air missal launchers and photon torpedoes are also thoug...
BOW TO YOUR SENSEI, MARSHALL COUNTY, WV -- A local law enforcement official has confirmed what many have feared about transient oil and gas pipeliners -- they are actually a more aggressive rogue sect of 19th century Shaolin monks who like to initiat...
Oil company British Petroleum, whose corporate reputation has suffered since the environmentally devastating 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, recently announced the launch of a groundbreaking new product: the global cooling machine or "GCM," designe...
KRISTIANSUND, Norway - Norway's national news agency The Fjord has just issued a statement regarding the gigantic oil spill from the Laotian oil tanker The Laotian Rice. The Laotian Rice hit an iceberg and sunk spilling its cargo of 2.1 million ga...
NEW ORLEANS - Representatives for the Louisiana based Blue Bayou Oil Company have just informed the news media of an amazing discovery. Arden Woodbush, III, spokesperson for The BBOC said that company geologists are reporting that the oil company...
DALLAS - In a story that sounds too amazing to be true, Texas billionaire oilman Langford T. Bucknell has just informed the news media that he has given one of his 973 oil wells to an illegal alien from Aguascalientes, Mexico. Mr. Bucknell said th...
WHITTIER, CALIFORNIA - The Whittier Oil Watch (WOW) has announced its displeasure at discovering a nodding donkey, used for pumping oil out of the ground, behind a tall hedge at the Rose Valley Memorial Park in Whittier. "We would never have known...
Top Gear tall man and human toffee apple, Jeremy Clarkson, has been sacked from the BBC after it was revealed that he cycles to his local shop rather than burning precious fossil fuel in a big V8 sports car. The Top Gear presenter was found to ha...
ODESSA, Texas - Well-known Odessa oilman Edison J. Tugtucker has just given Michelle Obama one fantastic belated birthday gift. The multi-millionaire who reportedly owns over 1,200 oil wells from Houston to El Paso told American Spotlight Magazine...
China is becoming increasingly confident in its dealings with the rest of the world, flexing its economic clout and heightened military power. Its controversial Nine-dash line attempts to shoulder the neighboring countries of Vietnam, Malaysia, Taiw...
Oil reserves in shale deposits underneath 90% of the U.K. can be extracted cheaply and would boost the economy of the country beyond our wildest dreams, said an energy spokesperson this morning. "But by the time everybody has stopped whingeing and ob...
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