There were stares of disbelief, and at least one instance of jaw-dropping amazement late this afternoon, as a woman ascended a tree rather in the style of a monkey, to the absolute astonishment of those watching. The incident took place as Moys Ke...
Monkeys at a British zoo have called for football fans to stop using monkey chants to taunt black players, as it tends to portray monkeys as somewhat lower on the evolutionary scale than humans, which they resent. Their concerns relate, more speci…
In a shack in the remote jungles of Vietnam, a menu gives a hint to what is for sale inside. "Coco Kisses, 3 Dong," it says. The owner is eighty years old, and doesn't speak a word of English, but through a translator, he says that Prince Andrew...
Pupils at a local Stoke-on-Trent High School were looking forward to a long-arranged day trip to a popular animal centre today, but disaster struck soon after they arrived. The schoolchildren, aged 11 to 16, were visiting the local "Monkey Forest...
A female crew member and a male actor from the 1996 smash hit film “Ed” have come forward to accuse the film’s primate star of sexual harassment. The events, first reported by TMZ and the Huffington Post, allegedly occurred during the film’s produ...
BILLINGSGATE POST: How can anyone forget the story about the couple who were viciously attacked by two chimps while innocently eating cake with their son Moe, celebrating his 39th birthday. Moe, who was an iconoclast by nature, shared living quarter...
A experiment to investigate whether an infinite number of monkeys sat at an infinite number of typewriters would, if left alone, eventually come up with the complete works of William Shakespeare may be in its final stages. The experiment, set up 4...
The U.S. federal court system has been attempting to declare, Naruto, a crested macaque monkey, to be the rightful owner of his famous "monkey selfie." This has been a two year court case between PETA bread, David the photographer, and a self-publish...
The Indian government have decided to introduce new legislation pertaining to bringing up children by employing monkeys in nurseries, nationwide. After discovering a young girl who was raised by primates in the Uttar Pradesh jungle, a la Mowgli wi...
Monkeys inhabiting the Rock of Gibraltar have come out in solidarity with non-Brexiters by refusing to leave their warm, Mediterranean adopted homeland after Brexit is completed in 2019! They are refusing to leave Europe and certainly do not want to...
The world is in deep mourning after a young Indonesian lady was paid a couple of measly $ Bucks to top a Kim; however having removed Kim Mark II is small consolation because the world needs Mark 1 removed not Mark II. However, there is an ancient...
A rare hairless chimp called "Chimp Chop" has died unexpectedly his keepers say. He was unexpectedly hit by a bus after unexpectedly fleeing from his enclosure and out onto a busy road. The bus driver was unnerved by the unexpected appearance...
A recent government study just concluded that the previous government study was a complete waste of money. Government scientists previously conducted a study on the gambling habits of monkeys, to see if the monkeys copied other monkeys betting habits...
Monkeys are irate after a distasteful political cartoon depicted them stumping for the dark horse Republican presidential candidate. "Sure we work for peanuts sometimes," one inconsolable primate protested, "but that doesn't mean we'll go out in f...
Chimps are filing lawsuits against the Planet Of the Apes makers citing unfair portrayals in the film. One of the chimps signed furiously to his human counsel citing that the makers artistic license has been taken too far and these are not real ch...
Munich, Deutschland - Dr. Hans Freid Eggs, a renowned German zoologist has come to the defence of four orang-utans convicted of grievous buggery committed against a group of Belgian schoolboys. "This is nothing but a snitch-up!"(sic) exclaimed Egg...
The ultra Feminist head of the FBI, Ms. Gona Dectomy has announced the success of a three year Honey Trap. "Operation Sticky Centrefold". Twenty thousand men were interviewed and forty thousand "helpful" Lads Magazines were last night being examined...
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