Boston, MA - Rhode Scholars and fellow mathematician dorks around the globe, all agree that Professor John Nash, the Nobel Prize winning math genius, and subject of the Oscar winning film, 'A Beautiful Mind,' should have easily figured out that he w...
New Jersey - A topnotch mathematician thought to have been the inspiration behind the movie 'A Beautiful Launderette' has been found in a deceased condition inside a crashed New Jersey cab. John Doe Jr and his wife Jane, both 103, were in the bac...
A Chinese 5th grader at an elementary school in the Boston-area is apparently last in his class when it comes to math. The student, Chen Wu Zhang, was born in the United States, but his mother and father emigrated to the U.S. from China in 1999.
The Government is introducing a new programme for schools, starting this week. A mix up somewhere in the Ministry of Education has led to the ideas for Maths and Literature being confused. Former Minister of Education, Michael Guv, explained that...
Fibonacci, OH - A 3rd-grader from Fibonacci, Ohio has solved a mathematical concept that has perplexed mathematicians for centuries. Nine year old Samantha Integral was doing her homework when she overheard her mother talking on the telephone. She h...
Kansas City, MO - Despite always on-going efforts to increase the impact of their greeting cards, Hallmark Cards has confirmed that - in the opinions of the thousands of mothers polled each year - none of the cards in their line of Mother's Day cards...
Mathematics would not exist in an independent Scotland. The startling revelation was made today in a speech by First Minister Alex Salmond, where he outlined more of his plans for the country in the event of a Yes vote. The shock announcement...
Professor Stephen Hawking. has disclosed that maths teachers have been kidding about J, the square root of minus one. It apparently does not exist in the natural universe. A market trader from Basildon blew the whistle on the myth on Saturday mor...
Everybody's alarmed at the recent report that "Alcohol Destroys Brain Cells". Of course, I tell them we only use ten percent of our brain anyway according to those same people, right? So I read about how many brain cells we have to lose and it's...
Flushing, New York - Due to an accounting error, the New York Mets baseball club has been mathematically eliminated from the 2014 National League playoffs. Mets principal owner Fred Wilpon took full responsibility for the arithmetic mishap. H...
Mathematicians at Keswick University have produced a proof that shows how to fit a square peg into a round hole. "Using topological manipulation calculations," said theoretical mathematician, Patience Tested, "we have successfully transmogrified a...
Statistics is a funny science. The process of collecting and interpreting data can often lead to some unpleasant, odd, or belief-defying answers. It doesn't always yield perfect results, but like any scientific endeavor, we can be sure more often than not that our work, if done correctly, leads us to the truth. But of all the claims we can make using statistics, perhaps the most outrageous is the...
New York NY: The Columbia University School of Abnormal Psychology has developed a mathematical computer model to predict the interests of current and former political figures after they leave office. Professor Freud (no relation to Sigmund) expla...
SUNSHINE MOBILE HOME PARK, FL (ABSNN) - Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney visited a mobile home park deep within Florida's Sun Coast on Tuesday. He was shocked to learn that 47% per cent of all US citizens live in "long, narrow boxes sided...
Faced with being on the borderline for acceptance to his preferred university place, an eighteen-year-old from Basingstoke has written a letter to the university's Maths department purporting to show that although he was awarded a B grade in Maths, i...
New research in cognitive behaviour has shown that the order in which we learn affects what we learn. "We believe that maths is deliberately taught before religious education," said Michael Beye, spokesman for the Discovery Institute, the militant...
President Obama announced that for the remainder of his presidential term, his administration's primary security initiative will be to find a divisibility test for the number 7. "A divisibility test for 7 has been a sort of Holy Grail, eluding us...
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