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Funny story: Defrocked Jesuit Francois DuBois Of West 'By God!' Virginia To Open Premium Rate Telephone Confessional

Defrocked Jesuit Francois DuBois Of West 'By God!' Virginia To Open Premium Rate Telephone Confessional

Disgraced Jesuit, and go-getting entrepreneur, Francois DuBois, of West 'By GOD!' Virginia, today announced that he will soon be opening a premium rate telephone confessional service, for people who lead such busy lives that they don't have the time...

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Funny story: Local Woman Sells Husband For £1.99 Online

Local Woman Sells Husband For £1.99 Online

Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, long suffering wife of renowned idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today revealed that she has sold her intolerable other half for £1.99 online. In a statement issued to reporters, Anne Shuttlecock revealed that the final st...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock - Surfing The Net For Porn - Survey Results

Martin Shuttlecock - Surfing The Net For Porn - Survey Results

Failing satirist, buffoon of long standing, idiot, crap diplomat, pariah, awful cook, bad husband, and beer guzzling, chain smoking idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today embarked upon a lunatic quest intended to restore to at least some degree, his points standing on satirical website www.thespoof.com. By hitting the lowest common denominator...and surfing the net for porn. Here, he explains the...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Six - Usain Bolt And The Magic Fountains

Barcelona - El Raval - Sunday: Another hot sunny Sunday in the Catalan capital. For the Shuttlecock clan, there was much to anticipate, for Sunday evenings are traditionally the best times to see the Magic Fountain on the olympic hill of Montjuic in all their spectacular glory. The whole clan were raring to go, and wallow in the Magic Fountain's musical lightshow. All that is, except Mart...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Five

Barcelona - Day Five - L'Aquarium. In his own words for once. "It was a weird sort of a day; day five. It kicked off with the kids getting bored in the apartment, so I had a conspiratorial word in the son-in-law's shell, and we decided to take them out for a walk to burn off some of that excess energy. "I don't know if any of you who are reading this know Barcelona at all - if you do, you...

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Funny story: Local Man "Gutted" As Everton Stuff United

Local Man "Gutted" As Everton Stuff United

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock told reporters this morning that he was "gutted" after seeing his beloved Manchester United crash to an opening day of the season defeat to Everton at Goodison Park last night. Everton won the match 1-0 with a second half header from Belgian star, Marouane Fellaini. "I was gutted," Shuttlecock related. "I'd been working the 2-10 shift and I forgot to Sky-Plus th...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters from Barcelona - Day Four - The Nou Camp

No trip to Barcelona is ever considered complete without a visit to the magnificent Nou Camp. Which is where Martin Shuttlecock went on Friday, accompanied by his football loving son in law. Who filmed the event for posterity, unknown to Shuttlecock. "He had one of them orbital cameras," Shuttlecock revealed. "What does films and that. I didn't know he was filming it. I thought he was just t...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day Three And El Raval

Night time: Sagrada Familia, El Raval and Ladyboys - As regular readers are probably aware, Martin Shuttlecock can't write for peanuts, has no comprehension of the concept of humour, or irony, or even basic table manners. So we sent a Skoob News reporter out to interview him. In a cockroach infested crackhouse up an alley in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district. "It's not really all that...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

Martin Shuttlecock's Letters From Barcelona - Day One

"Well, that wasn't at all what I expected," said a decidedly disgruntled Martin Shuttlecock, from his garret in Barcelona's notorious El Raval district, last night. "The flight down here was pretty uneventful - although it wasn't a Lear jet, it was at least a jet, one of them airbus things. Still, at least we never did a belly flop onto the M27. And we didn't get served champagne by a bevvy of...

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Funny story: Martin Shuttlecock Looking Forward To Barcelona Trip

Martin Shuttlecock Looking Forward To Barcelona Trip

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a vertically challenged Scouser who pretends he's really from Salford because it sounds a bit more 'street' revealed today that he's looking forward to jetting off to Mediterranean hotspot, Barcelona, on Tuesday. "I'...

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Funny story: Local Man To Post Daily 'Letter From Barcelona' Providing He Actually Gets There And Can Stay Sober For Long Enough

Local Man To Post Daily 'Letter From Barcelona' Providing He Actually Gets There And Can Stay Sober For Long Enough

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock today announced that he intends to post daily letters from Barcelona - on condition that he actually makes the trip, and can avoid getting blind drunk on Estrella Damm, absinthe, and local wine by the bucketload. "It'...

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Funny story: Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Local Man Brands Home Secretary, Theresa May, As: "A Brain-Dead Muppet"

Speaking from his 1960's retro-themed council tower block in Titchfield, Hants this evening, local man, Martin Shuttlecock angrily declared that in his opinion, Home Secretary, Theresa May, is "a brain-dead muppet" with no tangible grip on reality, a...

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Funny story: Local Woman Infuriated By Police Mugshot Type Passport Photographs Which Cost Seven Pounds

Local Woman Infuriated By Police Mugshot Type Passport Photographs Which Cost Seven Pounds

Local woman, Anne Shuttlecock, the long suffering wife of local idiot, Martin Shuttlecock, today went seven shades of homicidal as she renewed her passport at the Titchfield West post office. "That bitch at the post office rejected the photographs...

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Funny story: Local Man Survives Horrendous Buttock Area Gas Explosion

Local Man Survives Horrendous Buttock Area Gas Explosion

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a part time roast chestnut vendor from Titchfield, revealed that he had survived a horrendous buttock area gas explosion earlier today. "I was lucky to escape unsinged," Shuttlecock told reporters. According to so...

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Funny story: Stop Andrea Pirlo And It's Italian Job Done Says Martin Shuttlecock

Stop Andrea Pirlo And It's Italian Job Done Says Martin Shuttlecock

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock has added his negligible weight to the pre-match analysis ahead of tonight's Italy v England Euro 2012 quarter final clash in Kiev. Relaxing quietly at his Titchfield home, sipping a cold one and sparking his thirtiet...

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Funny story: Swedish Eurovision Song Contest Winner Has "A Big Head And Suspiciously Large Hands" Says Anne Shuttlecock

Swedish Eurovision Song Contest Winner Has "A Big Head And Suspiciously Large Hands" Says Anne Shuttlecock

Long suffering wife of local idiot, Martin Shuttlecock - the lovely Anne - today stated unequivocally that she's had a really shit day. "It all started in the early hours, when my silly bastard of a husband woke me up at about four thirty am deman...

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Funny story: Local Man Takes Coffee And Packed Lunch To Currys/ PC World As He Checks Out 3D TVs

Local Man Takes Coffee And Packed Lunch To Currys/ PC World As He Checks Out 3D TVs

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock had quite a surprise in store for staff at his local branch of Currys/PC World, when he turned up completely unannounced, along with long suffering wife, Anne, a flask of coffee, a four pack of Belgian lager, and a tuppe...

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