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Funny satire stories about London 2012

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Funny story: London 2012: Alfred Hitchock to direct Olympics Closing Ceremony

London 2012: Alfred Hitchock to direct Olympics Closing Ceremony

East London born Alfred Hitchock is to come out of retirement to direct the London 2012 Olympic closing ceremony, following in the footsteps of Danny Boyle who produced the hugely acclaimed opening ceremony. Hitchcock, from Leytonstone, has not di...

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Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 12th August 2012

Football Gossip & comments 12th August 2012

Arsenal Ladies are being linked with a high-profile transfer move for Ireland's Olympic boxing gold medallist Katie Taylor, 26, who is also a talented footballer. (Metro) She'd be handy as back up in a Patrick Vierra v Roy Keane rematch. Luka Modric wants to talk to Andre Villas-Boas over his future, with the 26-year-old worried that his dream move to Real Madrid may fall through. (Daily Mi...

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Funny story: Team USA Smashes 27 Year Old World Record

Team USA Smashes 27 Year Old World Record

The USA claimed a spectacular victory in the women's 4x100m relay, smashing a record set by the former, and somewhat interestingly named, German Democratic Republic, or East Germany. The women's 4x100m relay record had stood since 1985 and was the...

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Funny story: London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

Warnings have been issued to more than half of all athletes competing at the London Olympic Games for exploiting supernatural performance enhancing stimulants. Last July, the act of "Asking God for divine intervention" was added to the list of pr...

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Funny story: Misty May-Treanor Wins Gold, Does The, "I Got's Ants In My Pants, Dance", In Celebration

Misty May-Treanor Wins Gold, Does The, "I Got's Ants In My Pants, Dance", In Celebration

Misty May-Treanor, 3 time gold winner in womens volleyball, celebrated her victory with a curious little dance number. The stereotype that white people just can't dance has been around since the beginning of the art form. It's never been proven bu...

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Funny story: Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood

Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood

While the bars stayed open late in Jamaica, after the 200m success of Usian Bolt and his team-mates last night, the fish and chip shops of Manningham was where the greatest celebration took place. It has been revealed that Bolt is yet another succ...

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Funny story: Aussies Bemoan Dismal Olympic Showing

Aussies Bemoan Dismal Olympic Showing

Aussies, for whom sport is bigger than Jesus Christ and Dame Edna Everidge, are distraught as Team Australia has failed to deliver the gold medals they craved and expected from London 2012. They have endured seeing the 'mother country', Britain, e...

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Funny story: Huge fans will be used to rid the Olympics of pollution

Huge fans will be used to rid the Olympics of pollution

With the sun finally coming out for the final few days of the Olympics, a new problem has emerged, with pollution set to make breathing dangerous for athletes. "Ozone levels are so high," said Boris Johnson, Mayor of London, who has decided to rem...

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Funny story: David Beckham confirmed as derny rider in Olympic Keirin event

David Beckham confirmed as derny rider in Olympic Keirin event

While many are still stunned about David Beckham's omission from Team GB's football team, it has been confirmed that the former Manchester United and England star has been taking part in London 2012 after all. However, his role has surprised many...

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Funny story: Olympics Spur On Local Gymnastic Hopefuls

Olympics Spur On Local Gymnastic Hopefuls

A local playground is the centre of Great Britain's hopes for gymnastic gold in 2016 and beyond. While groups of yummy mummies and alpha mums look on with pride, toddlers and youngsters barely out of nappies are learning the ropes on the apparatus...

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Funny story: G4S lose fifteen Cameroon Athletes

G4S lose fifteen Cameroon Athletes

G4S have admitted that they do not know the current whereabouts of fifteen of the Cameroon Olympic Squad. "It's quite embarrassing," said Dave Loanshark, manager of the G4S Athlete Protection Division. "We thought we had them all nice and neat in...

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Funny story: Team USA Disappointed With Olympic Medal Haul

Team USA Disappointed With Olympic Medal Haul

The USA Olympic Team has expressed disappointment in its medal haul at the London 2012 Games. Team USA manager, Barry Obamama, said "It's not the number of gold medals we won that bothers us, it's more about the events we did not do so well in." H...

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Funny story: Afghan Olympic 100m 'Sprinter' Finishes Race The Day After She Started It

Afghan Olympic 100m 'Sprinter' Finishes Race The Day After She Started It

Afghan Olympic 'sprinter' Tahmina Kohistani, the woman who has been dubbed "the slowest runner of all time", crossed the finish line of her 100m race yesterday, the day after she first ambled out of the starting blocks. Kohistani, roared on by the...

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Funny story: GB Olympic Team In Shreds After Queen's Drug Test Shock

GB Olympic Team In Shreds After Queen's Drug Test Shock

The Great Britain Olympic team was said to be "in tatters" this morning after news emerged that the result of a random drugs test carried out on Her Majesty the Queen after Her opening ceremony parachute jump, had turned out positive. The Queen co...

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Funny story: Olympic Javanese javelin thrower stabs his foot and is disqualified!

Olympic Javanese javelin thrower stabs his foot and is disqualified!

Javanese Olympic javelin thrower, King Hula Bula Wonga the 40th, who is his countrie's sole representative at London 2012, has just blown it! After intense preparation in his homeland, 2 years of extensive jungle training throwing spears at wide-e...

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Funny story: Sir Paul McCartney Leads Olympic Crowd in Sing-Along of "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"

Sir Paul McCartney Leads Olympic Crowd in Sing-Along of "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?"

Former Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney, appeared at the Velodrome and the Olympic Stadium today and led capacity crowds in mass sing-alongs to obscure Beatles songs at both venues. McCartney was on hand at the cycling track, as the Great Britain women'...

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Funny story: Traditional English Breakfast Linked To Team GB's Sudden Gold Rush!

Traditional English Breakfast Linked To Team GB's Sudden Gold Rush!

Lord Coe has today revealed the secret behind Team GB's amazing recent gold rush at the Olympics - a decision taken last Tuesday to add the choice of a traditional fatty English breakfast to the athletes menu. "It's the only logical explanation, t...

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