A book called "From Bags to Bitches" has rocketed to the Number One slot in America. Written by Alma Chancer it had originally sold only two hundred and nine copies; but after a lawyer working for Schillings inadvertently leaked on a Twitter account...
BOSTON - A judge in Massachusetts has just issued a landmark directive which states that Microsoft legally has the right to read peoples email. Judge Erastus "The Gavel" Bockerbottle ruled that the corporate giant can read emails in the interest o...
Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...
Keith Schilling, major player in the "reputation and secrecy" law firm Schillings of London has taken out an injunction against himself. At a restaurant in Kensington last night he inadvertently tipped over a glass of Rothchilds' Chateau Lafite P...
Caribbean - "A classic, Ecuador-style bit of legalistic bullshit," is how constitutional experts have described some Brit shyster lawyers' attempts to sue the governments of the UK, France and Holland for acts of slavery committed by private individ...
No sooner was it announced that Brent, a 37-year-old Louisiana chimp, had won first prize in a chimpanzee art contest (read about it here on TheGuardian.com website) than the chimp called a lawyer to complain that the sanctuary where he lived would b...
MANHATTAN - The producer and host of Celebrity Apprentice, Donald Trump has said that he would like to have the infamous NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden appear as a contestant on his hit NBC show. Trump, being a billionaire (thanks to daddy), kno...
LOS ANGELES - Kobe Bryant who missed the first round of the Los Angeles Lakers NBA playoffs because his foot was hurt now says that his mama has bruised the hell out of his ego. Bryant is madder than a woodpecker in Antarctica because his mother h...
TRENTON, New Jersey - Kobe "Vino" Bryant may scream, holler, and yell at his Laker teammates Pau Gasol, Metta World Peace, and Dwight Howard, but his mama, Pamela Bryant says she will not stand for him hollering at her and she has made it abundantly...
LANSING, Michigan - The Michigan state senate acting on the wishes of the citizens of Michigan has just voted 27-11 to ban the cheesehead hats worn by Green Bay Packer fans. State Senator Arthur H. Turntittle, 56, [R-Kalamazoo] told Sporting Chanc...
Vannes, France - Shock horror in Brittany this weekend at the news that a superstar French barrister has been found dead at his private beach spawning hundreds of French Dead Lawyer jokes. (Ne demandez pas! - 'Ed'] Olivier Metzner, 63, had a massi...
MOBILE, Alabama - Political Salad Bar Magazine is reporting that due to the extremely bad publicity, the owners of the cruise ship Triumph have decided to change its name. Carnival spokesperson Helvetica Hickoryhaus, 52, stated that in order to re...
A statement issued today by a Palace spokesman has added nothing but confusion to the story of the Queen vs. Dame Judi, or 'Lizziegate' as it is now known. The spokesman denied emphatically that the Queen had anything to do with the reported inci...
LOS ANGELES - Shawn Holley, who was up until this week, Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, has got to be one of the most patient women in the entire United States. Holley has tried her best to help the little, misguided Hollywood rich girl, but all to no ava...
New York attorney Diana Campbell was proud of having earned her law degree at the age of 54. She had steady work that wasn't too mentally demanding and which served to pay the bills. And, after nearly three decades of therapy and twelve-step work, sh...
NEW YORK CITY - Kathie Holmes has been keeping pretty much of a low profile in regards to her filing for divorce from her husband of five years Tom Cruise. But reports are surfacing out of the Big Apple, where Katie is living with daughter Suri, t...
Washington DC - Desperate to take the lead in the nation's never-ending healthcare debate, Congressional Republicans are massing behind an initiative that would provide all Americans with a do-it-yourself medical kit containing everything they need t...
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