A spate of head explosions hit news organisations yesterday in the wake of the press conference held by boffins at the Cern laboratory. Physicists Fabiola Gianotti and Guido Tonelli presented experiment results which scientists reckon provide evid...
The elusive Higgs Boson - the theorised particle which inspired a 10 billion pound hole in the ground has been found. Well so the BBC would have you believe. The BBC, famed for producing misleading 'factual' programming claims to have photographed...
The most coveted prize in particle physics - the Higgs bosom - may have been glimpsed, say researchers reporting at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Geneva today. The Higgs Bosom is purported to be the means by which everything in the Universe o...
Police in Geneva announced today that the thieves who stole the Large Hadron Collider from an underground chamber in Switzerland have contacted CERN to ask for an instruction manual. They say they are unable to set the 24-hour clock, operate the...
The Hadron Collider, the device used to explore the boundaries of quantum mechanics and sub-atomic particle acceleration, has been stolen from its underground compound in Switzerland. Scrap metal thieves are believed to have broken into the site...
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) team at CERN are now enlisting volunteers who have home computers to contribute in the search for the Higgs boson. Details of the project, called LHC@home 2.0, can be found at http://lhcathome.web.cern.ch/LHCathome/Phy...
Fans of stupid theories and implausible concepts are today celebrating as the origins debate rages on. Quacks at the California University have come up with yet another physics bending theory, that the Earth once had TWO moons which somehow collid...
Scientists are celebrating today after a retired plumber found the so called "God Particle" behind his sofa. Bill Appleton, 63, has expressed his surprise at his find. "I was only looking behind the sofa for some change to pay the window cleaner...
Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider at Cern, near Geneva thought they had hit the jackpot last month in their search for the elusive Higgs Boson particle, which is believed to give everything in the universe mass. Rumours have been circulating...
As predicted in a previous spoof, the fictional 'God' particle was in fact not found at Easter, and was yet another jibe in the relentless atheist drive against religion. At a recent press conference, the boffins from CERN proudly announced that t...
Rumours are spreading around the science world following the 'leak' that the illusive so called Higgs boson, the 'God' particle, has been detected. The Higgs boson is a theorised particle which 'Big Bangs' use to form universes. Supposedly. All...
The so-called Large Hadron Collider, buried deep underground somewhere in Switzerland finally proved its worth yesterday when at 4.21 pm in the afternoon (GMT) it collided with a large hadron. A loud cheer rang through the echoing caverns - this w...
Steven Hawkins (Hackney carriage licence number 666) explained his new theory, "It's like this innit." "That Hadron collider thingy is making little black holes an little black holes try an suck everything in don't they. So the whole world is being sucked into France. "No wonder there's all these earthquakes and cyclones and hurricanes and what not killin people all over the place. Stands...
Scientists at LCH in Switzerland were elated today when a major question regarding the nature of our universe appeared to be solved. Paris Hilton's brain was hurtled through the Swiss Hadron Collider and smashed into a similar size particle at close...
Geneva, Switzerland - JoJo, a rescued research monkey and former casual labor employee of Sexxxy Sadie's Topless Dance Club in Baltimore, was recently hired as a Junior Physicist to head up one of the operational systems at the Hadron Collider near G...
Eggheads operating the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) have been enjoying a great deal of success with their experiments over recent weeks. And they have local electrician Dave Coaxial to thank for their celebrations. The collider, which is operate...
GENEVA, SWITZ. - The LHC, has captured one Anti-Matters particle, a particle that will make certain things irrelevant to everything. The Anti-Matters (AM) was captured by scientists at the LHC in CERN, which will, hopefully, further man's knowledg...
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