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Funny story: Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Easter eggs and other chocolate can now through a loop hole in an old law carry blades and other weapons, as long as they are not the locking type that have been banned since 1903 unless sold only in small amounts, latest research suggests. The st...

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Funny story: Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife

Myleene says thats not a knife this is a knife

Myleene Klass was confronted by a yobs brandishing a small knife ouside her kitchen window but instead of letting the yobs frighten her Myleene grabbed a large kitchen knife and shouted "call that a knife this is a knife." It was like a repeat of...

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Funny story: Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies

Knife Wounds To Be Shown To Kiddies

The government have announced they are to show 'disturbing and graphic' photographs of knife wound victims to teenagers, in an attempt to stop them from carrying knives. Maria Prannet, Labour MP, says "if we scare the bejeezus out of the little sh...

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Funny story: China hits US with pipes!

China hits US with pipes!

According US Commerce Department spokesperson Bikey Schwinn China has been hitting people with pipes here in the United States. The small crack pipes make amazingly good weapons when wielded by Kung Fu artists from China. In retaliation, the US w...

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Funny story: Saftey swords now legal apparel in public and private

Saftey swords now legal apparel in public and private

LONDON England - The Queen today was reading some old history books, per her statement below, and made a major announcement affecting British society everywhere. Follows her statement, made this morning at her secret underground palace, in the under...

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Funny story: Anti-knife youth task force sells guns to raise money

Anti-knife youth task force sells guns to raise money

LONDON, England - According to Mr. Remington of London, a new anti-knife campaign including posters, tele and online adverts, music videos, and strippers is warning youth against using or even carrying knives. This rouge task force of young anti-k...

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Funny story: Doctors 'must report scalpel crime'

Doctors 'must report scalpel crime'

WASHINGTON DC - In the past, doctors only had to report cases of knife stabbings. Now they must tell police every time they stab someone with a scalpel, according to new guidelines from the AMA. They are also told they can breach patient confident...

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Funny story: Boy Scouts To Get Guns Instead Of Knives

Boy Scouts To Get Guns Instead Of Knives

Boy Scouts are no longer to be permitted to carry knives! This shock report hit the Scout movement like a tidal wave only last week. Lord Baden - Powell's grave has been observed to be smoking and there is a rumbling, rotating noise emanating f...

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Funny story: New Anti Stab Knife: Asbo yob heads off to EU Courts for breach of human rights

New Anti Stab Knife: Asbo yob heads off to EU Courts for breach of human rights

Liverpool: Repeat offender and current Asbo world champion, Martin 'Divvy' Derek of Croxteth, Liverpool today announced he planned to go to the European Court of Human Rights after using one of the revolutionary new Anti Stab knives. THINK SAFETY...

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Funny story: Joanna Lumley Arrested On Knife Charges

Joanna Lumley Arrested On Knife Charges

The actress turned political agitator, Joanna Lumley, who appeared as Purdey in the New Avengers and Bolly swigging chain-smoking Patsy in Ab Fab, was arrested today by some policemen on charges of waving a knife about in a public place. Lumley, w...

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Funny story: Knife Amnesty Amnesty

Knife Amnesty Amnesty

Home Secretary Jacqui Smith today released plans for a controversial amnesty of existing knife amnesty measures. The news comes after a recent independent watchdog discovered that several knife amnesty schemes, operating over the past 4 years, hav...

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Funny story: CSI: Floral

CSI: Floral

Police arrested a thirty-four year old florist yesterday for the apparent motiveless murder of dad of five, Wong Pace Wong Tym. "We believe we have uncovered just the tip of the iceberg," said Detective Inspector Phil Inns. "In the interview, it t...

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Funny story: Former Mr Gay UK calls OJ for advice

Former Mr Gay UK calls OJ for advice

A former Mr Gay UK slit his lover's throat then marinated his diced flesh with fresh herbs. Good heavens! There's only one thing poor Mr Gay UK can now do: (phone ringing…ringing…ringing…gets picked up) Gay: "Mr. Simpson, is that you?" L...

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Funny story: Latest London Stabbing Death: EastEnders Jase Dyer Loses Fight For Life

Latest London Stabbing Death: EastEnders Jase Dyer Loses Fight For Life

The growing list of gang-related stabbing deaths grew one name longer on Thursday when unshaven Jase Dyer of EastEnders was brutally murdered in his own house in Albert Square, Walford. He was only an unknown age. Dyer had been on the run from a c...

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Funny story: Knife crime statistics are wrong, says survey

Knife crime statistics are wrong, says survey

Knife crime statistics are wrong, according to a knew survey by a leading Government think tank, leading one minister to accuse the media of whipping up a "frenzy of fear". The GooYov poll, commissioned by the Home Office, has found that NO ONE ha...

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Funny story: Cameron Reunited With Stolen Penknife

Cameron Reunited With Stolen Penknife

Conservative leader David Cameron was today dramatically reunited with his penknife, that had been stolen from his desk in July in London. A phone call from a Mr Stanley Blade in Notting Hill led to the recovery, and it was found lying on the road...

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Funny story: "Murderous Chinese Men with Knives Giving Ordinary Knife-Wielding Chinese Men a Bad Name," says David Carradine

"Murderous Chinese Men with Knives Giving Ordinary Knife-Wielding Chinese Men a Bad Name," says David Carradine

American actor David Carradine and his brothers Bruce, John, Keith, and Robert are leading a public service announcement to promote the right to bear arms by China's equivalent of the National Rifle Association (NRA) following a week in which two unr...

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