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Funny story: Kate Moss slams 'fake' orgy claims

Kate Moss slams 'fake' orgy claims

London - (Ass Mess): Supermodel Kate Moss has slammed Sunday Tosser reports that she is so old, haggard and generally past it she had to hire professional lookalikes to stage a fake orgy at her 34th birthday party last week while she was se...

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Funny story: Kate Moss "to be legalised"

Kate Moss "to be legalised"

The government have strongly hinted that the supermodel Kate Moss may soon be legalised. In the next round of legislation, the Home Secretary Jacqui Smith suggested that Kate Moss should be allowed to exist under the full protection of the law but t...

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Funny story: Kate Moss cleans out dealers for Davina's birthday orgy bash

Kate Moss cleans out dealers for Davina's birthday orgy bash

St John's Wood, London - Ass Mess): "No wonder there's an effin' crack and smack drought in London this week," dealers at Camden's Whorely Arms pub complained today after being told every last gram of recreational d...

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Funny story: Winehouse husband grasses up Kate Moss plea bargain cops in missing £6 million police expenses probe

Winehouse husband grasses up Kate Moss plea bargain cops in missing £6 million police expenses probe

London - (Conspiracy Mess): In an ironic twist of fate Amy Winehouse's husband has grassed up detectives who secured the dropping of Kate Moss's June 2006 drug charges in a plea bargain struck from the detox wing of HMP Belmarsh where he is o...

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Funny story: Doherty worms his way back to Moss's bed

Doherty worms his way back to Moss's bed

London - (OMFG Press): Babyshambles singer and stalwart druggie Peter Doherty has managed to worm his way back to Kate Moss's favors as well as her bed according to cleaning staff employed at the London Hilton Hotel where the pair were spotted ho...

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Funny story: Frangrant Kate Moss perfume "smells like coke and looks like piss sample"

Frangrant Kate Moss perfume "smells like coke and looks like piss sample"

London - (Rioters): The launch date for Kate Moss's new signature perfume L'Air du Moss has been postponed indefinitely after fragrance industry complaints that it "smells exactly like cocaine".

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Funny story: Cracks appear as Moss wavers over Doherty pleas

Cracks appear as Moss wavers over Doherty pleas

Kingston, Surrey - (Ass Mess): Refreshed from a long weekend of shagging Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood senseless in his palatial Surrey hideyhole model Kate Moss emerged into the sunlight today, resolving to resist ex-lover Pete Doherty's...

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Funny story: Another Lost Weekend

Another Lost Weekend

Paralytic Pictures announced today that they will be producing a remake of their classic picture, Lost Weekend.

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Funny story: Kate Moss in Ronnie Wood threesome shag

Kate Moss in Ronnie Wood threesome shag

Kingston, Surrey - (Ass Mess): Top model Kate Moss has moved in with Ronnie Wood and is reported to be in a three way shag with the ageing sexagenarian Rolling Stone and his wife Jo.

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Funny story: Pete Doherty offered £2 million for Kate Moss sex tapes

Pete Doherty offered £2 million for Kate Moss sex tapes

London - (Ass Mess): Near-bankrupt Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has told mates at Camden's Whorely Arms pub - where his unpaid bar tab has now exceeded its statutory £50,000 monthly limit - that he will settle all his debts by the weekend aft...

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Funny story: Kate Moss booked in for customised vagina remould

Kate Moss booked in for customised vagina remould

New York - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): So is it rhinoplasty after too much nose-powdering with ex-lover Pete Doherty or something a little more intimate - like a a customised vagina remould - that has brought Kate Moss to Manhattan's top plastic surge...

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Funny story: Kate Moss: "Doherty is blackmailing me"

Kate Moss: "Doherty is blackmailing me"

New York - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Model Kate Moss has fled to New York after the tempestuous break-up of her on-off Pete Doherty shagging saga and told Storm agency's Sarah Doukas that she is being blackmailed by her ex.

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Funny story: Kate Moss furious as another seven women admit shagging Doherty

Kate Moss furious as another seven women admit shagging Doherty

San Tropez, France -(Ass Mess): Model Kate Moss is said to be livid as she bides her time away from the paparazzi amid more press revelations that another seven women have come forward with their kiss-and-tell stories of shagging her ex Pete Doherty.

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Funny story: Kate Moss Starts Dating Again After Dumping Pete

Kate Moss Starts Dating Again After Dumping Pete

Skinny model Kate Moss has lost no time in getting back into the dating game. Just days after dumping spotty drug-addled no-hoper Pete Doherty, Kate has been spotted partying with her new bloke.

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Funny story: Kate Moss to recreate Camden Town's top coke dealing hellhole

Kate Moss to recreate Camden Town's top coke dealing hellhole

London - (Ass Mess): For years it has been North London's top coke-dealing venue and celebrities have flocked to it on birthdays, anniversaries or when feeling strung out by life's little ups and downs.

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Funny story: Doherty slams Kate Moss as paranoid old slag

Doherty slams Kate Moss as paranoid old slag

London - (Rioters): Babyshambles musician Pete Doherty has slammed Kate Moss as a paranoid old slag whose jealousies drove him over the edge into crack cocaine use.

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Funny story: Kate Moss junks Doherty

Kate Moss junks Doherty

London - (Ass Mess): Kate Moss called in a fleet of pantchnicons today to junk Pete Doherty's trash from her life as well as from her house in North London's uber-hip Primrose Hill.

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