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Funny satire stories about Julian Assange

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Funny story: Sajid Javid’s “rightly behind bars” inspires new sentencing for Assange at 400 years

Sajid Javid’s “rightly behind bars” inspires new sentencing for Assange at 400 years

British Home Secretary Sajid Javid’s remark that Julian Assange is “rightly behind bars” has led to further developments on "how long?" Mr. Javid signed a US extradition request, followed by disclosure that Mr. Assange faces 17 charges and 175 yea...

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Funny story: Assange Additionally Charged with Injuring Government Lamp

Assange Additionally Charged with Injuring Government Lamp

Not shying away from applying antiquated and little-used statutes in the interest of protecting the United States government from the actions of journalists, federal prosecutors have added a 19th count to the 18-count indictment against Wikileaks fou...

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Funny story: British Magistrate Gives Assange a Stern F-ing Warning After Sentencing

British Magistrate Gives Assange a Stern F-ing Warning After Sentencing

LONDON- Julian Assange appeared in a British court on Thursday where he was sentenced to 50 weeks for bail-jumping. Aside from the matter of extradition to the United States, Assange was given a "stern fucking warning'' by a Westminster magistrate...

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Funny story: Ecuadorian Embassy Turned Into Julian Assange's Own Dirty F-ing Art Studio

Ecuadorian Embassy Turned Into Julian Assange's Own Dirty F-ing Art Studio

Ecuadorian officials just simply had enough of Julian Assange's "artistic endeavors". "Assange said that he was making art in the spirit of conceptual artistic great, Piero Manzoni. At first the staff found it to be intellectually challenging and...

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Funny story: Valerie Thighborg challenges Assange accuser “Miss W” to big wrestling match at Wembley Stadium

Valerie Thighborg challenges Assange accuser “Miss W” to big wrestling match at Wembley Stadium

Breaking: Miss Valerie Thighborg, formerly a Swedish prosecutor on the Assange case, has invited his accuser “Miss W” to “fight it out” at Wembley and “decide the matter.” Miss W is reported possibly re-opening her case against Assange. The other...

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Funny story: Julian Assange Seen Hugging Tiger Woods After Victory At Masters

Julian Assange Seen Hugging Tiger Woods After Victory At Masters

BILLINGSGATE POST: That bearded guy pushing Tiger Woods’ mother aside so he could be the first to hug Tiger after he holed his putt at Augusta seemed familiar. Wearing the same pajamas he was seen wearing as he was escorted from the Ecuadorian Emba...

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Funny story: Julian Assange Has Escaped From Custody

Julian Assange Has Escaped From Custody

Julian Assange, the man who was arrested by British police at the Ecuador Embassy in London on Thursday, has slipped past his captors and has miraculously escaped. You might say, "there has been a leak". Mr. Assange was being detained at a poli...

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Funny story: Giant Fatberg Discovered Under Former Assange Dugout At Ecuador’s London Embassy

Giant Fatberg Discovered Under Former Assange Dugout At Ecuador’s London Embassy

London, UK - (Assange Mess): Ecuador’s envoy in London has had to evacuate the country’s embassy building after emergency pest control found a rotting 30-ton grease ball under Julian Assange’s former cellar lair. The fugitive from justice was nabb...

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Funny story: Trump’s Tax Returns, School Grades And SAT Scores Released By WikiLeaks

Trump’s Tax Returns, School Grades And SAT Scores Released By WikiLeaks

Following the eviction of Julian Assange and his cat from the Ecuadorian Embassy in London, an information dump to all the world news agencies was automatically released, spilling out Donald Trump’s tax returns for the last ten years, high school and...

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Funny story: WikiLeaks Gets Plugged: The 10 Reasons Why

WikiLeaks Gets Plugged: The 10 Reasons Why

April 12, 2019 London, United Kingdom In an exclusive interview with award-winning reporter, Amiko Aventurista, the Ecuadorian Ambassador to the United Kingdom, Senior Maximo Frutuoso De La Cruz Rodriquez, explained his 10 reasons why Julian Assa...

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Funny story: Assange, Snowden, Shrdlu: Three Exiles in Conversation

Assange, Snowden, Shrdlu: Three Exiles in Conversation

Reykjavik, Iceland. Just before WikiLeaks founder and director Julian Assange was taken into custody Thursday by the British government, the WikiLeaks editorial staff in Reykjavik began to record a conference call between the world's three most promi...

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Funny story: Ecuador Falls from List of Top Ten Asylum Destinations for Journalists

Ecuador Falls from List of Top Ten Asylum Destinations for Journalists

Following the arrest of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London after President Lenin Moreno rescinded the diplomatic asylum Ecuador granted Assange in 2012, Ecuador plummeted off the list of top ten asylum destinations f...

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Funny story: Jamal Khashoggi, Lord Lucan, Shergar, MH370 Airliner Etc All Suspected Of Hiding In Ecuador Embassy Alongside Julian Assange

Jamal Khashoggi, Lord Lucan, Shergar, MH370 Airliner Etc All Suspected Of Hiding In Ecuador Embassy Alongside Julian Assange

London, UK - (Houdini Mess): Armed cops have surrounded Ecuador’s UK embassy where Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is holed up in a cat piss-soaked basement awaiting extradition to the United Snakes. The 69 year-old fugitive continues to brazen...

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Funny story: Democrats and Republicans Alike Lose Track of Why They Officially Condemn Whistleblower Chelsea Manning

Democrats and Republicans Alike Lose Track of Why They Officially Condemn Whistleblower Chelsea Manning

“This man-woman is putting our entire freedom of the press at risk!” declared President Trump. “If we start letting confused, troubled people sell their secrets to Wikileaks in order to fund their sex-change operations, what’s next? Rigged elections?...

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Funny story: An Oscar For Donald Trump?

An Oscar For Donald Trump?

What? Isn't Donald Trump getting an Oscar for his presidential performance for the last two years? But he was so lovely to Putin, Kim Jung-un, the oligarchs, Julian Assange, Erdogan, and the Nazis. Trump failed to win the popular vote for a nomina...

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Funny story: Man farts in elevator; elevator breaks down

Man farts in elevator; elevator breaks down

Already heralded as an omen for the new year, today’s incident in a major American city (anonymous in this report) has brought significant developments. That the elevator was also crowded has added to how to respond to the problem. Numerous que...

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Funny story: Galapagos Twitchers In A Flap At FBI Grand Jury Subpoena

Galapagos Twitchers In A Flap At FBI Grand Jury Subpoena

Galápagos Islands, Ecuador - (Agencies, Associated Mess): There are reports this weekend that FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller has subpoenaed a dozen indigenous Ecuadorian ‘bird watchers’ in the ongoing Rump Golden Showers Witch *unt probe. Pap...

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