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Sweden sends female prosecutor to question Assange she disappears into his room for two hours

Funny story: Sweden sends female prosecutor to question Assange she disappears into his room for two hours

The prosecutor's office in Sweden has finally sent a representative to question Julian Assange in Ecuador's London embassy. This assistant prosecutor is Ms. Valerie Thighborg, 29, brunette, slender, wearing Madame Orientale rouge lipstick, and att...

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Fears about 'exploding manhole cover syndrome' outside Ecuador embassy making Julian Assange bonkers

Funny story: Fears about 'exploding manhole cover syndrome' outside Ecuador embassy making Julian Assange bonkers

London, UK - A build-up of toxic safe house gases under the Ecuadorian embassy building in Knightsbridge has hit the fugitive from justice hard. WikiLeaks renegade Julian Assange fears his life is in danger from a potential explosion outside his...

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Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Funny story: Supreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers

Today's Supreme Court decision, that money (as with "money speaks") is entitled to first amendment protection and the rights of personhood, has again been hailed with the word "freeeedomm!" on conservative twitter sites. This new "money speaks" de...

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NSA about to make every American a movie star

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - The U. S. National Security Agency (NSA) is gathering audiovisual recordings of millions of American citizens in its three-year effort to compile the largest "gonzo" pornographic tape of all time. What men, women, teens, and...

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Edward Snowden to bunk up with Julian Assange in Ecuador's London embassy

Funny story: Edward Snowden to bunk up with Julian Assange in Ecuador's London embassy

Washington DC - US Justice department officials are flying to London to serve extradition papers on NSA whistle-blower Edward Snowden who is rumored to have arrived at the Ecuadorean embassy where Julian Assange has been holed up for nearly a year.

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Sun bed and tanning lotion delivered to Ecuador London embassy

Funny story: Sun bed and tanning lotion delivered to Ecuador London embassy

London - An Ecuador foreign orifice official's rant about Julian Assange's fundamental human rights to sunbathe 'on the Costa Brava' has been shot down by the Met's SPF40 diplomatic protection racket unit. Ricardo Patino said today that the death...

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'Plenty of room in the Ecuador bunker!' Julian Assange tells Oscar Pistorius

Funny story: 'Plenty of room in the Ecuador bunker!' Julian Assange tells Oscar Pistorius

Pretoria, South Africa - "Sure it's a bit cramped but whaddahell?" the fugitive from justice chuckled during an internet call from his Ecuadorean embassy basement hideout in London SW3. Holed up pending extradition to Sweden the Wikileaks founder...

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New Mental Illness Widespread says Doctor

Funny story: New Mental Illness Widespread says Doctor

Reggie Mental editor of "Get Out of My Mind" details a recent interview he had with Swiss psychiatrist Dr. Fiddler ... all about a new mental illness his team of researchers claim to have discovered. "Paranoia we all know about and nobody wants. Hence the new social fear on a par with any other phobia.... it is called Paranoia-Phobia. Yes, the fear of being paranoid. Already medication, a deri...

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Court rules Abu Hamza can be extradited to Ecuador

Funny story: Court rules Abu Hamza can be extradited to Ecuador

London - The radical cleric is to be put on a plane for Quito after three Appeal Court judges agreed to his repatriation under the Human Frights Act. Today's ruling also means four other undesirables detained alongside the hate preacher are free t...

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Prince Harry defends right to hang Rupert Murdoch

Funny story: Prince Harry defends right to hang Rupert Murdoch

Bonny Prince Harry, currently standing in as Caretaker King due to family illnesses and honeymoons, today defended the controversial decision to order the hanging of newspaper publisher Rupert Murdoch. Harry took the keys to Buckingham Palace whil...

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Assange fears embassy apartment block 'arson attempt' to smoke him out

Funny story: Assange fears embassy apartment block 'arson attempt' to smoke him out

London - An upstairs apartment dodgy bong incident or scented candle mishap could see Julian Assange 'rescued' by UK firefighters from the Ecuador embassy's ground floor spiderhole. The fugitive from justice fears that Vienna Convention diplomatic...

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Wikileaks editor found hiding in local pub cellar

Funny story: Wikileaks editor found hiding in local pub cellar

Wikileaks editor Julian Assange who police believed was still holed up in Ecuador's embassy in London, has been, supposedly, found hiding in the cellar of the Jolly Spunker pub in Greenfield, Oldham. Pub landlord, Alf Trotter, 55, told us " I went...

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Hillary Clinton Hints Extradition Swap: Assange For Bush Cheney Plus Chevron Execs

Funny story: Hillary Clinton Hints Extradition Swap: Assange For Bush Cheney Plus Chevron Execs

Thanks to our intrepid roving journalist Pepe Warezabar, we have breaking news on a deal to move Assange direct to the US, eliminating the Swedes entirely. Pepe and Hillary Clinton have known each other since the Arab Spring in Egypt, and most recently along the border of Syria-Turkey Hillary greatly admires Pepe's ability to scour out the best saloons in any area. The following interview too...

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Assange sprung from Ecuadorian Embassy

Funny story: Assange sprung from Ecuadorian Embassy

London, England. Wikileaks advocate, Julian Assange, has managed to secrete himself out of the Ecuadorian embassy, only to find his travels curtailed when the laundry bag he hid in was dropped at the local laundromat where Pakistani laundry hands dis...

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Assange: theatrical grandstanding ...with his flies wide open

Funny story: Assange: theatrical grandstanding ...with his flies wide open

London - Mouthfulls of bollocks for a solid ten minutes saw Julian Assange preach from the Ecuadorean embassy balcony this afternoon. However a Beeb news close-up shows the Wikileaks arse with his flies undone. And half an inch of schlong insid...

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Mossad offers to help out in Assange debacle

Funny story: Mossad offers to help out in Assange debacle

London - Israel's top London-based spook has offered his services to smoke Julian Assange from his spider hole in Ecuador's Knightsbridge embassy. "You wanna have him taken care of, right?" is how Brigadier Shlomo Falaffel put it to Foreign Secret...

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Assange fears indictment over Ecuador's Chevron scam

Funny story: Assange fears indictment over Ecuador's Chevron scam

Long Island - "He's always been in cahoots with that dumbass Rafael Correa," a leading US taxation consultant commented as a tense standoff between UK police and Ecuador's London embassy escalated today. The former IRS lawyer who has represented a...

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Assange In Great Escape Bid

Funny story: Assange In Great Escape Bid

Wikileaks boss and wannabe lothario, Julian Assange, is believed to be going stir crazy, as he has now been holed up in the Ecuadorian embassy for over two months. Embassy sources claim Assange's mood has darkened further since he was granted asyl...

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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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