Judge Jamie Dean of West Virginia has handed down the ruling that halfwits cannot be prevented from using the county library. "That would be interfering with his rights as a citizen of the United States." "We're alright with most of the kids, b...
On his way downtown Los Angeles to appear before a judge Justin Bieber told the police lady driving that he was taught by a "Master" and that was the source of a lot of his problems. The officer later told this reporter that Bieber was alluding to...
After reading a story about a woman in Ohio changing her name to Sexy, Maude Fuller of Kingsport, Tennessee has legally changed her name to Sextra Babe. An attorney she hired says that there is nothing wrong in changing your name. "Most women do i...
Seattle Washington citizen Howard Lindsey has become the first gay married male to be charged with bigamy. Lindsey, who married Allen Balls earlier this year apparently had already married ten other guys the four previous months and three of them...
A Judge in Wyoming has ruled that a man whom police say, began picking up young girls and flashing them for the past ten years has the right to have a DNA testing. Although police say they are absolutely sure they have the right guy because they h...
NEW YORK CITY - Reports filtering out of the Big Apple are that local girl Jennifer Lopez is still highly upset with her boy toy Caspar Smart for jumping the gun and revealing to the entertainment media that she was going to be returning to American...
ST. ECLAIR, ILL - Michael Cook, who was caught, white-handed, cooking up smack (or maybe it was coke; details are confused in what remains of his mind), has resigned in disgrace from his position as a Cook County judge. A colleague died of a heroi...
From the first of April all appeal court judges will be forced to undergo compulsory brain scans to see if they really are partially brain dead. The scans are to be carried out in private clinics because the government lacks confidence in the NHS to...
A deaf drug addict who strangled five people got away with ten ears. Al Avago was notorious for strangling his victims with the wire cords from their own ear-phones. In his defence, Avago claimed that as he was trying to get the ear-phones out o...
I remember Stinky a tall cadaverous looking chap with a profound limp in his vocabulary. We bedded at Cambridge together,he had a habit of wanking under a copy of Country life. Never saw him after Girton College, just sort of went our separate ways, at Winchester together you know. Some years later, I am sitting in the Dunlop Club having a snifter when who should walk in? Dear old Stinky, dr...
In an unprecedented legal quandary this week, an entire jury was deemed unfit for service and thrown out by the judge. Journalists discarded all courteous behaviour as they shoved, elbowed and kicked their way to the Court entrance in a bid to interv...
A man who was convicted of a brutal murder twenty-five years ago was released today and he has vowed to clear his name. Mr John Ripper believes a combination of his surname, his "haunting eyes" and his inability to pronounce his "Hs" had convinced pe...
A man has declined to take part in jury service after sensationally admitting he doesn't hold the British Justice System in high regard. He didn't seem to realise that nobody in the country does and people regularly take jury service purely to be nos...
The Great British justice system has done it again; a man has been spared jail after burgling three houses in five days. Justice Bowers listened to how the "poor lamb" had developed a heroin problem and was merely stealing so he didn't have to work a...
British justice was shown to be the best in the world yesterday when a juror who made the mistake of doing internet research about the case she was trying was jailed for six months. Three judges at the High Court found 34-year-old psychology lectu...
In a landmark case a judge in London has condemned a toddler, to five years hard labour for mouthing the words 'mummy riot, mummy riot' and shaking his rattle at the same time, whilst taken for a stroll by his nanny in London's wealthy enclave of No...
The perennially popular idiom "Sober as a Judge" was put under the spotlight by the Idiom Police, a lesser known division of the Literary Squad in Lincoln. "A lot of drunk people use the phrase," said Detective Charles Loche. "We need to know how...
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