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Funny satire stories about Jon Venables

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Funny story: Vicious Venables has a licence

Vicious Venables has a licence

Vicious John Venables the murdering scumbag has a licence to change his name and location whenever he wants. Venables along with Robert Thomson murdered two year old James Bulger after torturing him. Every change of name and location costs a f...

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Funny story: No Training or Equipment: Venables Had No Chance

No Training or Equipment: Venables Had No Chance

Joint-murderer of James Bulger Jon Venables, who has been returned to custody after allegedly violating the terms of his release, has been badly let down by Gordon Brown and his incompetent government, I was told by a senior figure with a handlebar m...

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Funny story: Thompson & Venables Have Voting Rights Restored by Council Of Europe; Vow to Vote Against Any Crime Prevention Measures!

Thompson & Venables Have Voting Rights Restored by Council Of Europe; Vow to Vote Against Any Crime Prevention Measures!

Convicted child killers Jon Venables and Robert Thompson today had their voting rights returned based on a Council of Europe determination that to refuse criminals the right to vote was 'a denial of their HUMAN rights.' The killers, now released...

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Funny story: Fears grow Venables 'is George W Bush's grandson'

Fears grow Venables 'is George W Bush's grandson'

London - (Rotters): A conspiracy theory website that outed Gerry McCann as 'Jon Venables' DNA father' says it has proof - about 99° alcohol by volume/proof - that George W Bush is the Grandpappy behind the cover-up. The site says UK retops bugged...

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Funny story: Knot Justice! Venables Tried to Become Boy Scout Leader

Knot Justice! Venables Tried to Become Boy Scout Leader

Jamie Bulger's killer Jon Venables was banged up again after it was discovered that he had applied to be a Boy Scout Leader, a source close to this newspaper revealed yesterday. Cops allegedly collared Venables as he left a Boy Scout Troop meeting...

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Funny story: Cops probe Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates captured great aunt' claims

Cops probe Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates captured great aunt' claims

London - (Abduction Mess): The Jon Venables media storm has taken a startling new turn as police begin investigating former Bulger killer accomplice Robert Thompson's 'Somali pirates' kidnap claims. Muckers of the 27 year-old told told the Daily C...

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Funny story: Conspiracy nutters website claims Gerry McCann 'is Venables DNA father'

Conspiracy nutters website claims Gerry McCann 'is Venables DNA father'

London - (Rioters): In a move that outguns even the most rabidly paranoid UK tabloid reporting leading conspiracy nutters website TinFoilHatters-R-Us.con has named Gerry McCann as Jon Venables' DNA father. The Belize-based cyber-rag also says Brit...

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Funny story: Robert Thompson's new ID shattered

Robert Thompson's new ID shattered

London - (Royal Ass Mess): Convicted child killer Robert Thompson's new ID has been shattered to smithereens this weekend following reports that since 2001 he has had a grace and favor job as a Buckingham Palace flunkey. The 27 year-old is apparen...

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Funny story: Jon Venables Held On Spoof Sex Charges

Jon Venables Held On Spoof Sex Charges

With the truth about the reason for child killer Jon Venables' reincarceration unlikely to be revealed anytime soon, I can exclusively reveal that Britain's notorious tabloid press have taken a leaf out of this Spoof writer's illustrious book and sim...

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Funny story: Jon Venables The Evil Walter Mitty

Jon Venables The Evil Walter Mitty

A Whistleblower who works with the police has reported that evil Jon Venables is an Evil Walter Mitty character. Venables murdered two year old James Bulger,with his equally evil accomplice Robert Thompson in 1993 after torturing the toddler beforeha...

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Funny story: Venables and Thompson IDs were changed soon after birth

Venables and Thompson IDs were changed soon after birth

Merseyside - (Rotters): Media reports that Jon Venables is to be given a second post-jail ID by worried Prison Department officials will bring the total of his identities since birth to four. Like his former accomplice in crime Robert Thompson the...

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Funny story: Conspiracy website says Venables 'tried boarding plane to Moscow'

Conspiracy website says Venables 'tried boarding plane to Moscow'

London - (Rioters): The TinFoilHatters'R'Us.con site reported today that the convicted child killer is back behind bars because he was caught trying to fly to Russia 'to see his DNA father Vladimir Putin'. An editorial this weekend will also asser...

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Funny story: Jon Venables New Identity Compromised

Jon Venables New Identity Compromised

A man standing outside the Home Office today admitted that the new identity of Jon Venables, the brutal killer of toddler Jamie Bulger on Merseyside in 1993, has indeed been compromised and is available on the internet. The spokesman didn't say ex...

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Funny story: Daleks claim they can resolve the Jon Venables Problem

Daleks claim they can resolve the Jon Venables Problem

Jon Venables, the evil murderer, has lived a life of luxury with everything paid for by a government of complete arse holes. Evil Venables, together with his accomplice Robert Thompson, brutally murdered two year old James Bulger in 1993 after tor...

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Funny story: Terry Venables 'No Relation Of Jon Venables - OK?' - report

Terry Venables 'No Relation Of Jon Venables - OK?' - report

Essex - (Ass Mess): The former England coach moved quickly today to distance himself from any connection to jailed child killer Jon Venables who is back in the slammer for unspecified parole infringements. "Similar names," El-Tel commented, "so wh...

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