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Funny satire stories about John Terry

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Funny story: Euro 2012: Injured Gary Cahill 'will spend tournament with John Terry's wife'

Euro 2012: Injured Gary Cahill 'will spend tournament with John Terry's wife'

Roy Hodgson was left reeling last night after the fourth withdrawal to his Euro 2012 squad. Gary Cahill, with a broken jaw from saturdays 1-0 win over Belgium, joins midfielders Frank Lampard (thigh), Gareth Barry (abdomen) and goalkeeper John Rud...

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Funny story: Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Chelsea to offer motivational courses to public after Champions League win

Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...

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Funny story: QPR fans face moral dilemma over Chelsea game in Munich

QPR fans face moral dilemma over Chelsea game in Munich

A football fan in Shepherd's Bush has been attacked by an angry mob after he was spotted strutting around West London in a Bayern Munich shirt. 'A huge crowd chased me, including members of the Anti-Nazi League. They tried to rip the shirt off my...

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Funny story: Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Chelsea Defy The Odds To Make Champions League Final

Unbelievable. Probably the only word to sum up Chelsea's performance at the Nou Camp tonight. The game didn't start well for Chelsea when they lost Gary Cahill to a strained sideburn after eleven minutes. It got worse when Sergio Busquets gave Bar...

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Funny story: Gentleman John Terry Red Carded For Kneeing Alexis Sanchez Up The Bottom

Gentleman John Terry Red Carded For Kneeing Alexis Sanchez Up The Bottom

There was an extremely tense atmosphere at the Camp Nou as Barcelona entertained Chelsea in the Champions League semi final a few minutes ago, with Chelsea under siege from a rampant Barcelona strike force. Including Lionel Messi and Alexis Sanchez.

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Funny story: Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Roberto di Matteo revels in 'incredible' Chelsea win v Napoli

Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back...

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Funny story: Chelsea sack another manager: Benitez, Griffin and 'arry react

Chelsea sack another manager: Benitez, Griffin and 'arry react

Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch today pulled the plug on under fire manager Andre Villas-Boas and told security guards to escort him from the building. Following an embarrassing defeat away to lowly West Bromwich Albion yesterday, the knifes were...

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Funny story: Football Association to introduce Centre of Excellence for Handshaking

Football Association to introduce Centre of Excellence for Handshaking

The English FA today announced a multi-million pound investment in a brand new centre of Handshaking as they admitted that English football has fallen behind the world in pre-match handshaking. FA Director of fence sitting, Sir Trevor Fencing CBE...

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Funny story: Carry On Up The Capello.

Carry On Up The Capello.

John Terry has paid tribute to Fabio Capello and expressed his personal regret at losing the England captaincy . "The eyetie stood down in protest at how the FA treated me. I expect everyone in the country to follow his example and resign from th...

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Funny story: England sack Capello's translator and pay him £2,50 compensation!

England sack Capello's translator and pay him £2,50 compensation!

Capello is gone and many should thank John Terry for being sacked as captain, but they won't and anyway that's a different story. The FA have at last showed some "balls" (not footballs) and got rid of England's most hated manager apart from; Glenn...

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Funny story: Anfield Cat in Twitter fight with Joey Barton.

Anfield Cat in Twitter fight with Joey Barton.

The Attorney General is to investigate comments made by Joey Barton on Twitter during a heated debate with Anfield Cat. The scouse moggy became an internet sensation after running onto the pitch during last night's game between Liverpool and Spurs...

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Funny story: Fabio Capello decides on new skipper after FA strip Terry of captaincy

Fabio Capello decides on new skipper after FA strip Terry of captaincy

Fabio Capello may be in breach of his contract by telling an Italian radio station he was not happy about the FA decision to strip John Terry of the captaincy over his court appearance for alleged racism - but last night at Anfield he may have found...

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Funny story: John Terry 'didn't have the legs' to step down as England captain

John Terry 'didn't have the legs' to step down as England captain

John Terry refused to resign as England captain as he did not have the legs to stand down, according to a source close to the player. The Chelsea skipper, who received a date for his trial on charges of racial abuse, would have needed to undergo a...

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Funny story: Bankers celebrate new bonus after John Terry mortgage application

Bankers celebrate new bonus after John Terry mortgage application

In a week when debate on bankers bonuses dominated the front page headlines the tills were overflowing and champagne flowing last night in city wine bars as bankers celebrated the approval of John Terry's latest remortgage. The £170,000 a week Che...

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Funny story: John Terry given the Spanish Archer by fans

John Terry given the Spanish Archer by fans

John Terry will be allowed to lead his country at Euro 2012 after his race-row court case was adjourned until July 9. In a statement, Judge Rupert Nonce said: "We haven't got time for the trial at the moment. The lads at Chelsea have some difficul...

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Funny story: Suarez to have extra english lessons to avoid repeat of race row

Suarez to have extra english lessons to avoid repeat of race row

Luis Suarez is taking extra English lessons to avoid a repeat of his ban for racially abusing Patrice Evra. The Liverpool striker was given an eight-match suspension for calling the Manchester United left back 'negro' and feels the charge came abo...

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Funny story: John Terry addresses nation on Twitter.

John Terry addresses nation on Twitter.

John Terry has spoken to the people after his team cheated their way to victory against QPR in the FA Cup. Chelsea nicked a result in the match due to Daniel Sturridge stepping on a Second World War landmine in the Loftus Road penalty area after r...

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