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Funny satire stories about John Bolton

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Funny story: Bolton and Pompeo with possible new executive positions in the nuclear war shelter business

Bolton and Pompeo with possible new executive positions in the nuclear war shelter business

Insiders are currently whispering that Mr. Bolton and Mr. Pompeo just might be on the chopping block. Washington has been reporting Mr. Trump needed to air out that he was not totally pleased with recent performance. Mr. Bolton may be gone soon...

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Funny story: Trump “tempers” Bolton and Pompeo in special White House ops

Trump “tempers” Bolton and Pompeo in special White House ops

Last week Mr. Trump indicated that at times he must “temper” Mr. Bolton’s enthusiasm for threatening other countries. He stated that “John is a good man," while adding a “but” that, fortunately, at times Mr. Trump needs to control him and calm him...

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Funny story: Trump and Bolton Anxious for Opportunity to Personally Lead Nation's Troops Into War With Iran

Trump and Bolton Anxious for Opportunity to Personally Lead Nation's Troops Into War With Iran

Washington - President Donald Trump and National Security Advisor John Bolton are looking forward to an opportunity to showcase the bravery they unfortunately couldn't exhibit during the Vietnam War, due to circumstances beyond their control, by donn...

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Funny story: Los Tres Cojones Trio at The White House confesses anomaly; US doctors indicate requests for implants now viral

Los Tres Cojones Trio at The White House confesses anomaly; US doctors indicate requests for implants now viral

What has long been the mystery of a male’s having three testicles, instead of two, has suddenly reached new stages of revelation. At this time sweeping Twitter, a startling development has occurred in the Trump administration, hitherto tightly gua...

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Funny story: Kim responds to new Trump negotiations with poem inspired by Robert Frost

Kim responds to new Trump negotiations with poem inspired by Robert Frost

Mr. Trump’s taking over diplomacy with North Korea has brought renewed condemnation from mainstream Democrats and the MSM. At issue is Mr. Kim’s recent reluctance to proceed further with denuclearization, currently assessed by The Washington Post...

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Funny story: The what if you gave a party and nobody came dream haunts Guaido

The what if you gave a party and nobody came dream haunts Guaido

Dark Overbored, specializing in hacking, doorknob analysis, and dream interpretation, has again revealed inside information from the Guaido camp. The dream goes like this: The hall is hired, the bunting and balloons strung, the tables laid wit...

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Funny story: Bolton and Abrams discovered in regime change rituals in dank basement

Bolton and Abrams discovered in regime change rituals in dank basement

The hacker group Dark Overbored has once again released intimate details on those currently governing US policy. This time it's via new technology in “doorknob surveillance,” and a series of “doorknob studies” for "interior scenes." To the fol...

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Funny story: Regime change handbook on Venezuela found in Marco Rubio’s trash by garbage truck sleuths

Regime change handbook on Venezuela found in Marco Rubio’s trash by garbage truck sleuths

Breaking: A new surveillance op is underway in the US via the garbage truck industry (“Streamline Disposal! We’ve Got Your Crap! Inc.”). All trash is now routinely scanned, sniffed, linked, filed, and joined to facial recognition software at a cus...

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Funny story: Hacker leaks Bolton in front of his bathroom mirror addressing himself as “Mr. President”

Hacker leaks Bolton in front of his bathroom mirror addressing himself as “Mr. President”

The hacker group Dark Overbored has come forward with leaks of new details on the Trump presidency. The suspicion that the presidency has secretly changed hands from Mr. Trump to Mr. Bolton is bolstered by these leaks. At issue specifically is...

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Funny story: Trump consulting on who to appoint acting president while he takes a break

Trump consulting on who to appoint acting president while he takes a break

According to Acting Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, the list for who will become Acting President (APOTUS) is being carefully studied. Acting Secretary of Defense Patrick Shanahan is also being called in as advisor for the process. Mr. Trump has...

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Funny story: Trump To Pardon Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince MBS

Trump To Pardon Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince MBS

White House chief of staff John Kelly and Donald Trump are no longer speaking to one another. It's difficult to evaluate how this can produce a positive outcome toward world peace. Maybe it was for the accumulation of multiple factors or just the...

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Funny story: Bolton to be shot out of a cannon over the Middle East

Bolton to be shot out of a cannon over the Middle East

According to inside analysts, Mr. John Bolton, National Security Advisor, is steadily advancing toward November, 2024. “If there’s one thing we do like it’s a good war,” is commonly expressed by Mr. Bolton and his group at barbecues and gab sessio...

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Funny story: Maduro reaches out to Clinton after assassination attempt

Maduro reaches out to Clinton after assassination attempt

Caracas, Venezuela—Venezuelan President Nicolás “The Madman” Maduro wants to know "what [expletive deleted] happened" a week ago, when explosives-laden drones “went off,” injuring seven soldiers in what appears to have been an attempt on the dickhead...

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Funny story: QAnon Lid Blown Sky High: John Bolton Hints Of Secret Leader's Identity

QAnon Lid Blown Sky High: John Bolton Hints Of Secret Leader's Identity

BILLINGSGATE POST: Under intensive questioning by George Staphylococcus, Trump National Security Advisor John Bolton revealed hints that would lead even a casual observer to believe former Secret Service Agent Slim Everdingle is the mysterious head...

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Funny story: Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel

Bolton to pilot B-52 squadron over North Korea will parachute down to establish first American base north of the 38th parallel

National Security Advisor John Bolton has had his way over North Korea’s objections to the current “Maximum Thunder” joint exercises with South Korea. Mr. Bolton insists that scheduling the current exercises despite the North-South Koreas’ recent...

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Funny story: White House confirms Bolton dropped into North Korea and returned by fishing trawler to USS Carl Vinson

White House confirms Bolton dropped into North Korea and returned by fishing trawler to USS Carl Vinson

Wrapped in a shawl in disguise as a halmoni (Korean grandmother), Mr. Bolton has recently completed a tour of the Punggyerae test site. White House Chief of Staff General Kelly has confirmed Mr. Bolton was parachuted in the dead of night with dead...

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Funny story: Biden and Trump will begin 2020 presidential campaign with fisticuffs and other challenges

Biden and Trump will begin 2020 presidential campaign with fisticuffs and other challenges

Last week Mr. Biden stated that as “a damn good athlete” he would be inclined to invite Mr. Trump out behind the high school gym—if they were still in high school. Mr. Trump immediately responded with Mr. Biden as “weak” in various ways and that i...

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