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Funny satire stories about Jimmy Savile

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Funny story: Pensioner de-frocked 500 priests. I am sick of paedophiles, he rants

Pensioner de-frocked 500 priests. I am sick of paedophiles, he rants

Pensioner Pope Benedict XVI de-frocked 500 priests while in office, Vatican sources admitted. Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi initially said the AP report was rubbish. The latest statistics reveal the number of priests defrocked in 2011 and 20...

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Funny story: Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

Royal Pardon for paedo Savile in Brits' 2014 New Year's Honors

London, UK - Queen Elizabeth is to issue a Royal Pardon in the New Year's Honors List forgiving one of the nation's top sex offenders plus some very lucky mates. The new spirit of reconciliation with excluded minorities means prolific serial perv...

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Funny story: More Pathetic Letters To The Problem Page

More Pathetic Letters To The Problem Page

Dear Sir, I write in the hope that you might sympathise with my plight. For none of mine aquaintance could be expected to proffer aught but brickbats, opprobrium or the cold shoulder. You see, I have somehow acquired the reputation for being a bringer of ill-fortune. "Get away!" they cry. "Why haunteth thou me thus?" If I was a young man, I would have run away to sea long ago. Your...

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Funny story: Savile inquiry spreads to Royal Freak Hospital

Savile inquiry spreads to Royal Freak Hospital

London - Described as the global epicenter of NHS quackery during the Dr Andrew Wakefield MMR scam the Royal Freak has come once again under intensive screwtiny in a police probe into Jimmy Savile stuff. The screwball paedo had a queer fondness fo...

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Funny story: New probe asks if Diana knew 'Jimmy Savile stuff'

New probe asks if Diana knew 'Jimmy Savile stuff'

London - 'Just like Jill Dando?' - A new nail in Princess Di's coffin has appeared with reports that she and Dodi might have been topped after all as many Brits still believe because she knew lots of Jimmy Savile stuff. The carefully choreographed...

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Funny story: Did paedo Savile have his very own Cleveland-style dungeon?

Did paedo Savile have his very own Cleveland-style dungeon?

London - Professional profilers analyzing serial monster Jimmy Savile's depraved 60-year rampage are asking the inevitable, 'just how really bad was this bastard?' A confidential briefing this week will see sleuths from the Met's Serious & Or...

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Funny story: Frankie Howerd on Margaret Thatcher

Frankie Howerd on Margaret Thatcher

Well. Here we are. Here we, ooh, no. Ooh. Ah. Ooh, I don't know where to put meself. Don't know which way to turn tonight. Yes, Missus, you've been there, haven't you? Hmm? You've felt my predicament. Look, now don't start. Shut your mouth. Oh, the riff raff we get in here. But ooh. Ah. No. Don't. Hasn't it been a hard winter? It's been a hard winter. And it's not over yet, I can tell you. Ooh,...

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Funny story: Thatcher died in hotel bed reading Spoof story

Thatcher died in hotel bed reading Spoof story

London - The old despot's last moments have been revealed after CCTV footage was published by the Ritzz Crackers Motel where she was holed up pending another, er, comeback. Mrs T, who died on Monday morning, is pictured with a pint tumbler of gin...

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Funny story: Thatcher's Final Resting Place To Be At Scarborough!

Thatcher's Final Resting Place To Be At Scarborough!

Britain's first female Prime Minister, Baroness Margaret Thatcher has died following a massive stroke early on Monday morning at her London home. It is thought she was not on the Liverpool Care Pathway at the time. A funeral service is to be held...

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Funny story: Popular Children's Entertainer Uncle Jake McRaffles not a Peado after all

Popular Children's Entertainer Uncle Jake McRaffles not a Peado after all

With Operation Yewtree cutting a swathe through the childhood nostalgia of 30 and 40 somethings up and down the land, it may surprise many to learn that creepy 1980s children's entertainer Uncle Jake McRaffles was not a nonce, as many had suspected,...

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Funny story: Savile's missing £20 million traced to satanic coven brats

Savile's missing £20 million traced to satanic coven brats

London - Police have found the dead perv's millions in a Swiss slush fund for brats of satanic hos. Their existence has been a government secret ever since the year dot according to sources at Operation Upper Gumtree. It means that Savile bough...

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Funny story: GET HIM OFF MY TELEVISION!!! - says everyone

GET HIM OFF MY TELEVISION!!! - says everyone

A class action is being filed on behalf of the British Public against BBC, ITV and C4 jointly to redress trauma and distress of seeing 'that b*stard' every time the news is broadcast. Or any BBC retrospective. Keith Foss, spokesman for SOS (Sod Of...

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Funny story: Jimmy Savile was Archbishop Cosmo Lang's little bastard

Jimmy Savile was Archbishop Cosmo Lang's little bastard

London - Government papers released this week show the sordid hatchet-faced cleric spawned a number of disgusting brats including one by the Queen Mother. That offspring became a shoo-in to the Savile family after Sister Mary Bonkers, a low-IQ Ca...

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Funny story: Papers suggest closer Savile Thatcher link

Papers suggest closer Savile Thatcher link

Papers released under the 30 year act seem to suggest a closer link between entertainer Jimmy Savile and then Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. During the period in 1982 when Thatcher's son Mark was missing Thatcher had regular meetings with Jimmy...

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Funny story: Santa arrested in Savile probe

Santa arrested in Savile probe

As the list of celebrities linked to the ongoing investigation into Jimmy Savile grows, it was revealed today that Santa Claus had been arrested by police. Santa, real name Father Christmas, was arrested with regard to offences dating back to the...

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Funny story: Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Savile 'a kind of cancer'

Researchers working at the University of North London have concluded that former TV presenter Jimmy Savile shared many characteristics with the cell structures found in malignant tumours. Dr Not-the-second-nurse, a specialist in aggressive cancers...

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Funny story: Jimmy Savile probe: Police investigate claims against anybody with 'Celebrity' in their portfolio

Jimmy Savile probe: Police investigate claims against anybody with 'Celebrity' in their portfolio

Detectives working on Operation Yewtree have received several tip-offs relating to the stars and are set to arrest six more 'names'. The sheer volume of allegations, some as old as 130 years, are currently flooding into Police Stations up and down...

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