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Funny story: Celebrity misquotes

Celebrity misquotes

Most celebrities, most of the time, have nothing important or interesting to say, but, because they are famous (and rich), their every word is reported to the world. Unfortunately, they are usually misquoted, because their words are taken out of context, or so they say, and, when they are not being misquoted, they are misspeaking. No matter what they do or say, they claim that they are seldom, if...

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Funny story: Helen Thomas: another hater bites the dust

Helen Thomas: another hater bites the dust

WASHINGTON, DC --- Aspiring centenarian and anti-Semite, Helen Thomas, 92, died at home following a long mental illness. As he prepared his eulogy concerning the contrarian White House press corpsman, speechwriters reminded President Obama that "corp...

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Funny story: Matt Damon to Play Pope In New Hollywood Blockbuster

Matt Damon to Play Pope In New Hollywood Blockbuster

Its official! Matt Damon is to play the outgoing Pope Benedict in a new Hollywood blockbuster being penned for release in 2014. Matt Damon a well known Bostonian Catholic from Boston, today spoke about his new role in press release which has got C...

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Funny story: Once Upon a Time In a Little Jewish Hacienda, 33CE

Once Upon a Time In a Little Jewish Hacienda, 33CE

Judas Nobody here. Thomas Don't sweat it. He'll be right here. Judas Maybe he's on break. Thomas 10AM? I doubt it. Judas Well, I don't mind telling you, I'm getting tired of all this. Thomas All what? Judas The dirty work. Thomas What dirty work? Judas His dirty work. Thomas What do you mean? Judas "Follow me." "Feed the poor." "Get off Magdalene's...

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Funny story: Pope Admits God Probably Doesn't Exist But Encourages Catholics to Get Imaginary God Friend

Pope Admits God Probably Doesn't Exist But Encourages Catholics to Get Imaginary God Friend

Catholics everywhere were flabbergasted when, merely days after celebrating his 85th birthday, Pope Benedict XVI issued a formal statement acknowledging that God probably does not exist. Nevertheless, the Pope assured believers worldwide that they we...

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Funny story: Jewish Messiah to be Named SOON! Trinity Possible…

Jewish Messiah to be Named SOON! Trinity Possible…

After over a millennium of anticipation, punctuated by occasional promises from their Lord of a Messiah to be named "later," Jews worldwide were thrilled to learn that their Messiah will be named SOON. Sources have confirmed that on the short-list fo...

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Funny story: Contenders for Chief Rabbi's position line up ahead of his retirement

Contenders for Chief Rabbi's position line up ahead of his retirement

With the news of the imminent retirement of Lord Jonathan Sachs as Chief Rabbi of the UK, Northern Ireland and Grimsby, a host of early applicants and contenders for the position have today been revealed. Front runner, not only because of his exis...

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Funny story: Lingerie Ad 'Unlikely To Seriously Offend Jews'

Lingerie Ad 'Unlikely To Seriously Offend Jews'

The Advertising Standards Authority has rejected a complaint about a Calvin Klein lingerie poster. An ultra-Orthodox Jew claimed that the poster - featuring five models in the designer smalls - was offensive to fellow believers who are forbidden t...

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Funny story: Is Obama A Giraffe? All Neck But No Ass (ACTION)

Is Obama A Giraffe? All Neck But No Ass (ACTION)

WASHINGTON: Although most American Muslims are satisfied with Obama, Jews have turned on him, as political novice Bob Turner defeated Democrat State Assemblyman David Weprin in a special election to fill the seat of disgraced Congressman Anthony Wei...

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Funny story: "X-Men: First Class" Marvels Its Way Into The Movie Theaters

"X-Men: First Class" Marvels Its Way Into The Movie Theaters

HOLLYWOOD - The motion picture based on the Marvel Comics X-Men did very well on opening day as was expected. The film stars James McAvoy as Professor Charles Xavier, aka Professor X, and Michael Fassbender as Erik Lensherr aka Magneto. The two...

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Funny story: 24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

Heaven's celestial scribe revealed via his Twitter feed, DaMetatron, that 24 Jews that ascended into Heaven during May 21st's Rapture were banished for scalping bogus tickets for what they characterized as "Seats Close To God". "They're in here by...

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Funny story: Dear Jewish Friends, When the Rapture Begins on May 21st...

Dear Jewish Friends, When the Rapture Begins on May 21st...

Dear Jewish Friends: When the Rapture begins on May 21st, you guys get to go first. (Not sure how you people worked that out, what with you guys not believing that Christ is our savior, and then killing him and all. I'm not sure how that works, but, ya know, whatevs. I guess the lawyers were working overtime on that deal, huh?) Do us a favor and save us some seats? I gotta get the kids dress...

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Funny story: Amish and Hassidic Jews Get Into Brawl About Which Group Is More Backwards and Humble

Amish and Hassidic Jews Get Into Brawl About Which Group Is More Backwards and Humble

Two religious groups squared off into an arguement that turned into a brawl as more than words were exchanged between groups of Hassidic Jews and Pennsylvania Amish. Fists and bottles both flew through the air as the two religious sects argued which...

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Funny story: The atheist crusade! BBC continues drive against religion

The atheist crusade! BBC continues drive against religion

Good old auntie beeb is continuing the relentless drive against religion now common amongst british television broadcasters. After driving down television standards with such 'family entertainment' as Eastenders, which contains such wholesome topi...

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Funny story: Glenn Beck Converting to Judaism to Atone for Offhanded Muslim Comment

Glenn Beck Converting to Judaism to Atone for Offhanded Muslim Comment

Glenn Beck has long been known to treat any issue he tackles with much drama and even more disregard for the facts. However, this week, when he compared Reform Judaism to radicalized Islam, he claims he knew he was wrong before he laid one piece of c...

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Funny story: Mayor Bloomberg Saves NYC From Egyptian Demonstrator Melee

Mayor Bloomberg Saves NYC From Egyptian Demonstrator Melee

NEW YORK, New York - A number of Egyptian-Americans, including a few of the more notable Egyptian bakers in the city, have converged on the few Egyptian bricklayers and police officers who live and work in the city. In an action that seemed suspic...

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Funny story: Jewish Council solve UK debt crisis

Jewish Council solve UK debt crisis

Rabbi David Cohenron, leader of the Jewish Council of Great Britain, has outlined plans to bring an end to the recession and put the United Kingdom back on the world map. Speaking outside the council chambers, Rabbi Cohenron stated; "Oye vot a...

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