Work and Pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith has said that people should not think that they are too good to work for free in supermarkets on the governments back to work scheme. He told the Andrew Marr program this morning that the government would...
New York NY - Police attempted to restore order today in Times Square amid a tumult of rioting fat people. Spokesperson Ms. Phat Derrierey explained why protest had turned to violence. "It's that ban an large sugary drinks. We all decided that e...
The Australian cyber slut accused of leaking hundred's of thousands of confidential emails and sensitive government documents resulting in the untold misfortune and possibly death for hundreds of confidential government informants, and the embarrassm...
A spokesperson for Her Majesty's Prison Service says the office can't handle the recent inundation of requests by unemployed females for jobs following the conviction of female warder Zanib Khan, 27, found guilty of juggling at least 5 unseemly rela...
Protesters disrupted the preparations for the Eurovision Song Contest earlier today when large groups of human rights campaigners demanded that Jedward be removed from the competition. Brothers John and Edward Grimes, known for their blonde quiffs...
Strasbourg - He's been snapped at a late night Barking kebab takeaway, the Tories' Winter Ball and last year's Wimbledon Ladies' Championship finals. Today judges at the European Court of Human Frights refused to release 'pirated' ISS footage of t...
Somerset - The news from the UK is grim tonight amid confirmation that the Third Reich has seized control of an old people's home and is persecuting residents' relatives over basic human rights. At the heart of the controversy is a concerned man w...
The UK government has voted unanimously to award pizza in the same category as somewhere to live, clean water, broadband and education by naming it as a basic human right. "Pizza is truly the world's best food," said government Health Minister and...
Convicted murderer Derek Frazer has been granted permission by a High Court Judge to sue the prison service over a fundamental breach of his human rights. The right not to be locked up. Legal papers lodged today state that the convicted murderer h...
Manchester - A rather flea-bitten mog with iffy ratting credentials is all that stands between David Cameron and immediate repatriation Home Secretary Theresa May has told the Conservative Conference. The 60-something politician - known as Cat Wom...
The following article was sent in to the Little End Gazette, by an elderly contributor, famous for his ability to compose such nonsense, tosh, and almost unreadable ramblings, and inane rubbish. This letter serves as an example of supremely crude, and unworthy literary skills, that actually contains an element of truth and fact. Achievements achieved, and Achievements still awaited...
Essex - Mind control experts today blamed warped subliminal messages broadcast by pylons for 'daft' UN eviction advice to Dale Farm pikeys. The high voltage electricity transmitters are said to be 'notorious' for their mind-bending effects, consid...
A local man who lost his thumb during a heated scrum with his local council Rugby Team, is smiling once again as after a 26 month wait a controversial operation performed under the auspices of the NHS grafted his big toe on his hand to replace the...
The following is the interrogation report of one Reggie "The Ferret" Fosberry, (SUBJECT) shortly after his arrest for Rioting, Looting, Possession of Stolen Property, Resisting Arrest with Violence, and Public Indecency. Subject was subdued after a short chase after he was witnessed to have thrown some masonry rubble through the store window of an Argos, entered same store, and before seen le...
Home Secretary Theresa May appeared to anger many in London yesterday after refusing to authorize the use of water cannon as mobs continued to loot and burn down many historical sites in the city and surrounding suburbs leaving homeowners and business owners to fend for themselves. The Home Secretary denied reports she is lobbying to replace EU Rep Barrenness Arsecrass by her restrained actions...
The tragic reality story of accused lady killer Joran van der Sloot took another bizarre turn today as the serial sociopath says not only has he found religion in jail, but also true love with his cell mate, identified only as a transgender shop lift...
The European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg today made a landmark judgement that finally recognised the plight of EAS sufferers. The ruling will also lead to a major review of European employment law. Employment Aversion Syndrome, or EAS, rem...
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