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Funny satire stories about Homeland Security

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Funny story: YouTube Being used to Recruit Hamsters to Terrorize the US

YouTube Being used to Recruit Hamsters to Terrorize the US

After watching a YouTube video of a Swedish bunny herding his master's sheep, local Washington, DC bully, Bugger Maloney's hamster named Chippy was reported to have herded the members of Congress into the Capitol to do something more than run their m...

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Funny story: Pope Orders 'Missal Launch' on Salt Lake City, Igniting a Holy War

Pope Orders 'Missal Launch' on Salt Lake City, Igniting a Holy War

The Vatican - The introduction of a new Missal, the prayer book that serves as the script for the Catholic Mass, has resulted in a Holy War between two of the world's religions. Upon publication of the new spiritual guide last weekend, Pope Bened...

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Funny story: Texas Spoof Writer Smashes Microsopic Alien Peace Delegation!

Texas Spoof Writer Smashes Microsopic Alien Peace Delegation!

Dallas, Texas - According to Homeland Securtiy officials 13 members of a delegation from the Saturn Moon of Phoebes were smashed when they accidentally tripped a Spoof writer on her way home from an evening walk. Officials say her nose and face smash...

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Funny story: US Homeland Security confuses NYC poets' "strike" with 9/11 anniversary threats from Al Qaeda operative Lindsay Lohan

US Homeland Security confuses NYC poets' "strike" with 9/11 anniversary threats from Al Qaeda operative Lindsay Lohan

Amid reports that American spy networks have intercepted communications from Al Qaeda operative Lindsay Lohan indicating plans for a terrorist strike in New York or maybe Hoboken, both cities have heightened their security and even pulled out the fam...

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Funny story: "Get Real Names", Napolitano tells Immigrants

"Get Real Names", Napolitano tells Immigrants

In an effort to streamline US Homeland Security efforts Secretary Janet Napolitano has asked immigrants to "get real names". The move follows a number of cases in which the same individual has appeared at different places bearing different names, or...

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Funny story: Feds Regret Issuing Mock "Zombie Attack" Alert

Feds Regret Issuing Mock "Zombie Attack" Alert

Washington,D.C.-Just weeks after issuing a mock "Zombie Attack" alert the Department of Homeland Security has issued a real alert stating that an all out zombie attack is imminent. The official bulletin states: This is not a drill nor a mock ex...

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Funny story: Department Of Homeland Security Revises Threat Warnings

Department Of Homeland Security Revises Threat Warnings

The Department of Homeland Security is revising the color coded threat warnings that they have been using for a few years to monitor terrorist warning levels. People will no longer have to worry about whether green or orange is worse than blue or red...

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Funny story: Department of Homeland Security Seizes Taco Bell

Department of Homeland Security Seizes Taco Bell

El Paso, Tx - Authorities announced today that the Department of Homeland Security has seized all Taco Bell locations across the United States. According to reports, the government will be investigating possible collaboration and provoking of huma...

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Funny story: Homeland Security To Build Moat From San Diego To Brownsville; Deputize Alligators

Homeland Security To Build Moat From San Diego To Brownsville; Deputize Alligators

This Sunday, Janet Napolitano told talk show host, Mike Huckabee, that trying to keep out the hordes of illegals from entering the US by building a fence has failed miserably. Arguing that it is a waste of money to continue this mission because the...

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Funny story: Piano could be a bomb says Homeland Security

Piano could be a bomb says Homeland Security

Florida's Biscayne Bay area of Miami is being evacuated and cordoned off by counter terrorist forces as I write following information received by Homeland Security leading to strong suspicions that the piano on the sandbar out in the bay is in fact...

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Funny story: Homosexuals of America Sue TSA: Pat Downs Are Not Invasive Enough

Homosexuals of America Sue TSA: Pat Downs Are Not Invasive Enough

The Homosexuals of America Organization has announced that it is in the process of suing the TSA over concerns that the pat downs that are performed on fliers who refuse to go through the body scans are not invasive enough. "The TSA is just not do...

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Funny story: Santa gets two years

Santa gets two years

AP "Always Perverted" News - North Pole: Santa sentenced to 2 years in federal prison? A series of bad events apparently sends Santa over the edge. Monday Santa was grounded by the FFA for flight within the US airspace for being unable to...

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Funny story: Homeland Security Declares Left Buttock "Off Limits" For Muslims

Homeland Security Declares Left Buttock "Off Limits" For Muslims

WASHINGTON - Homeland Security Czar, Janet Napolitano, announced today that because of ancient Muslim beliefs, pat-downs of the left buttock of all Middle-Easterners will not be tolerated; this because of the Crusades during the 13th century where Ch...

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Funny story: Department of Homeland Security calls on Superman to help with scanning airline passengers

Department of Homeland Security calls on Superman to help with scanning airline passengers

In a move to help quell the uproar over airport full-body scanners, Department of Homeland Security chief Janet Napolitano put in a personal call to the Man of Steel asking for help. The growing backlash from both passengers and pilots prompted an...

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Funny story: Department of Homeland Security announces control of cyber-warfare initiative

Department of Homeland Security announces control of cyber-warfare initiative

A spokesperson for Janet Napolitano, Secretary of the US Department of Homeland Security, has announced that after a two year, 6 billion dollar study, "We think there might be a risk to using those computer thingies to store and transmit secret infor...

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Funny story: Homeland Security to Nation: Anybody Seen Our Missing Afghans...the Ones with Guns?

Homeland Security to Nation: Anybody Seen Our Missing Afghans...the Ones with Guns?

Homeland Security Chief Janet Napilatano dropped a bombshell on Americans today when she let it slip she had just noticed that 17 Afghans in the US for weapons training, and issued Security Passes, seem to have gone missing. But only in the last two...

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Funny story: Napitalano: I'm Now In Charge of the Internet...Spoofers Be Very Afraid!

Napitalano: I'm Now In Charge of the Internet...Spoofers Be Very Afraid!

The US Senate announced today that their new internet control bill will place Homeland Security Chief and Pants Suit Maven Janet Napitalano in charge of 'throwing the switch' at her discretion to protect 'the integrity of the government. (sic) Na...

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