Cold part, Canada - Starting defenseman Larry McMurphy was suspended 2 games for his repeated violation of NHL dress code. According to section 3.41.2 "No player, in accordance with hockey tradition, shall have a complete set of front teeth." His sus...
LOS ANGELES - Well it appears that the old Charlie Sheen has returned from the "Land of The Spaced Out" and has made an appearance at L.A.'s Staples Center. According to Fuchsia Garfunkel with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle Sheen had gone to th...
TULSA - First it was Women's Beach Volleyball and then came The Lingerie Football League. And now thanks to sports mogul Carson "Dollar $ign$" Esterelli, the American males will soon be gazing upon gorgeous women in The Girl's Bikini Hockey League...
NEW YORK CITY - Donald Trump in a surprise move has made an offer to purchase the world's most famous arena Madison Square Garden. The billionaire who still is considering running for the office of president of the United States told a close frien...
Pierre, SD - President Barracks Obama today again warned Canada not to interfere with the ongoing conflict between North and South Dakota. The two states have been at odds after both ended up having competing teams in the regional hockey finals. "...
Following several recent prison inmate fights at four U.S. northern states, prison officials have decided to flood the common area prison grounds, create an ice rink and distribute hockey equipment to anyone wanting time out of their cells. Adviso...
The four people who still follow ice hockey are up in arms over the NHL's decision to suspend Islanders defenseman James Wisniewski, after Wisniewski took time out of his busy day to show Rangers douchebag Sean Avery the proper way to brush the rear...
The Philadelphia Flyers, The National Hockey League's dung pile representing Southeastern Pennsylvania, has lost it's bid to win the Stanley Cup, quitting and giving up during overtime of Game 6 with the Chicago Blackhawks. While this was undoubte...
Having dropped out of his most recent tournament, Tiger Woods accidentally came across a hockey game in his living room while flipping through the channels (He thought it may have been a new form of 'team golf' in Europe). After a few minutes of d...
With a tremendous display of athleticism both on their skates and off them, the San Jose Sharks won a heated competition with the Detroit Red Wings last night by virtue of flailing arms and off-balance dramatics in the act of professional diving.
Putting up a fine effort, the Detroit Red Wings go down in game one of the Western Conference semi-finals, losing to the San Jose Sharks 4 to 3. The top seeded Sharks expected to take at least one game in their own house, but the win gives them an...
If Canadian junior hockey player Chris Doyle "was charged with being a colossal asshole, prick and dickwad, I would find him guilty," a judge said Friday. "Of assault causing bodily harm, I find him not guilty." The verdict ends Doyle's assault t...
Enacting their pre-game strategy in advance of the long awaited Olympic hockey match up between Team Canada and Team USA, the young Americans stole team Canada's coffee and donut crullers just prior to the game. The loss of the pre-game "Coffee an...
The best of the action was in the stands at Madison Square Garden on the weekend. A hopeless romantic had arranged for his marriage proposal to be flashed on the big screen near the scoreboard. His girlfriend, who was sitting next to him in the sta...
Another tribute to hockey moms and dads, ice ponds, flood lights and kids that refuse to come in from the cold until they are forced to. You just have to love this time of year... snow on the pines, crisp air, goofy knitted hats. That, or just move your butt down to Florida and stop complaining. Seriously though... Merry Christmas! Sung to the tune of "The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts r...
Offered as a tribute to our Canadian friends, to anyone from a northern U.S. state, any country closer to the North Pole than the Equator, or anyone who sponsored a kid through years of junior hockey. T'was Hockey Night Before Christmas 'Twas Hockey Night before Christmas, when all through the rink Not a sound could be heard, but there still was that stink. Some skates were hung by t...
Anaconda, Canada - Canadian Prime Minister John Bluballs was in town today to dedicate the new state of the art 2000 seat Boys Club indoor hockey rink. "It's truly amazing that a small town like Anaconda, on the shore of the Arctic Sea, would raise t...
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