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Funny satire stories about Heaven

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Funny story: Facebook? More like the good book!

Facebook? More like the good book!

Real life stories of revelations and resurrections will soon be making their way to your smart phone (smarter than you!) or desktop computer. Jesus Christ or as he is more commonly known, J-Sizzle, has joined the social media revolution. It is a...

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Funny story: SD Senator George McGovern dies at 90: refuses to enter Heaven over "streets of gold"

SD Senator George McGovern dies at 90: refuses to enter Heaven over "streets of gold"

SIOUX FALLS, SD (ABSNN) - Richard Nixon cheated to beat him out of the Presidency, but George McGovern made it to Heaven while Tricky Dickey remains a smoldering charcoal briquette in Hell. McGovern died yesterday at the age of 90. He remained, to...

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Funny story: Nazis come from outer-space and now it's a fact!

Nazis come from outer-space and now it's a fact!

Nazis are not Satan's children and certainly do not originate from the cauldrons of hell because after finding an original Nazi and examining it; there is proof that they come from outer-space and travelled on meteorites! Originally the Nazi Bu...

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Funny story: It has now been confirmed; Neil Armstrong first astronaut in heaven!

It has now been confirmed; Neil Armstrong first astronaut in heaven!

The sad passing of intrepid astronaut, Neil Armstrong RIP, has proven that there is a silver lining in every dark cloud - that he passed after not only achieved cult, global status by being the first man on the moon, but that he is also the first ast...

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Funny story: Out of control fireworks blow up Heaven

Out of control fireworks blow up Heaven

Las Vegas, Nevada - Just when we thought we had "smoothed things over" with the Almighty, some dingle berry sets His house on fire. A fireworks display in Las Vegas, Nevada, reported to be the largest in the world, went completely crazy during a J...

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Funny story: Bin Laden speaks to mediums: "Heaven sucks but Hell's great."

Bin Laden speaks to mediums: "Heaven sucks but Hell's great."

Osama bin Laden speaking to mediums on the eve of the first commemoration of his death, says that he sure is in Hell, but he would not want it any other way. "The guys in Heaven all want to come down here. There's no hot stuff up there - not even...

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Funny story: Legendary Dead Footballer To Play Again?

Legendary Dead Footballer To Play Again?

Former Manchester United and Northern Ireland star, George Worst, stunned the football world yesterday after announcing he plans to come back from the dead and return to professional football. Mr Worst, dead, from the Heaven area, spoke to us from...

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Funny story: Ricky Gervais is told off by Jesus!

Ricky Gervais is told off by Jesus!

Infamous comic, Ricky Gervais, has sworn to God that Jesus, his son, has spoken to him direct via the internet! Jesus has actually told Ricky off for claiming that he starved children whilst walking the planet because God only allows thin kids up the...

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Funny story: Brian Haw sets up 'anti-cancer' camp at Heaven's gates

Brian Haw sets up 'anti-cancer' camp at Heaven's gates

Anti-war campaigner, Brian Haw, who died of cancer last Friday has reportedly set up an 'anti-cancer' camp at the 'Pearly Gates' and is refusing to move on until God removes cancer from his portfolio of ways to die. An apolplepletic St Peter is sa...

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Funny story: God Weighs Response Options To Hawking Claim Of "Fairy Story"

God Weighs Response Options To Hawking Claim Of "Fairy Story"

HEAVEN (Friggemall Wire Services) - God, seated in a great golden throne towering high above the realm of Heaven, said he was still giving thought to how to respond to famed British scientist Stephen Hawking's claim that Heaven is "a fairy story."...

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Funny story: Osama Bin Laden Won't Get His 72 Virgins

Osama Bin Laden Won't Get His 72 Virgins

Extremist clerics have revealed that terrorist and Al-Queda leader Osama Bin Laden will not receive his expected 72 virgins in the afterlife. The mass murderer and director of the 9/11 attacks was killed in Pakistan, but will not be going to any for...

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Funny story: Damnation? Take It To A Tribunal

Damnation? Take It To A Tribunal

Church experts reckon a legal ruling has paved the way for vicars and ministers to sue their boss. Methodist minister Haley Moore, of Redruth, Cornwall, challenged a 27-year-old Court of Appeal ruling that prevented church members from making a ca...

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Funny story: God sends notice - reveals who is going to heaven or hell

God sends notice - reveals who is going to heaven or hell

In an effort to prepare his people for the up coming 2012 end of the world, God is sending out cards letting people know where they are going after the event. The "save the date "cards where sent out yesterday to maximize planning time. "There...

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Funny story: Records Reveal Heaven Outsourced Infestation Job to Bed Bugs

Records Reveal Heaven Outsourced Infestation Job to Bed Bugs

Even Heaven is on a budget. Wrought-iron pearly gates have been replaced by baby safety fences. The walls of precious gems have been substituted with hip hop iced out jewelry. And swarms of locusts have been reduced to by-stander status as Heaven a...

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Funny story: Heaven Institutes Two Drink Minimum for Comedy Shows. "Our List Of Comics Has Improved In The Last Month."

Heaven Institutes Two Drink Minimum for Comedy Shows. "Our List Of Comics Has Improved In The Last Month."

The Lord Jesus Christ has announced that Heaven's comedy club, Giggles At The Heaven Holiday Inn, will institute a two-drink minimum for the 8:30pm and 11:00pm shows. The 5:00pm "Giggles Buffet" show will remain cover charge and drink minimum-free...

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Funny story: Purgatory?

Purgatory?

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds that St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch. He walks up to it and sees "Welcome to <www.Heaven.web>. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue." He doesn't have either, but underneath the fields is a small line reading: "Forgot your ID or Password? Click Here." So he does. Up pops a screen which...

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Funny story: U.S. Secretly Planning Invasion of Heaven

U.S. Secretly Planning Invasion of Heaven

The United States intends to send troops into Heaven, in a move to prevent terrorists from operating there. Called Operation Free Heaven, the top-secret plan, conceived during the Bush administration but never carried out, is gaining momentum in high...

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