It has been announced that the Pope is to resign, as the Afterlife proves it is not exempt from the global recession. God has called in the administrators and cutbacks are seen as inevitable. It is understood Pope Benedict offered his resignation...
Ned Kelly, Irish-catholic, Australian rebel and bandit has just been buried after he lost a shoot-out with Jesse James in heaven. The whole thing started after a fight in a saloon called "Heaven and Hell Whores and Nuns". Jesse called Ned an Irish...
Real life stories of revelations and resurrections will soon be making their way to your smart phone (smarter than you!) or desktop computer. Jesus Christ or as he is more commonly known, J-Sizzle, has joined the social media revolution. It is a...
SIOUX FALLS, SD (ABSNN) - Richard Nixon cheated to beat him out of the Presidency, but George McGovern made it to Heaven while Tricky Dickey remains a smoldering charcoal briquette in Hell. McGovern died yesterday at the age of 90. He remained, to...
Nazis are not Satan's children and certainly do not originate from the cauldrons of hell because after finding an original Nazi and examining it; there is proof that they come from outer-space and travelled on meteorites! Originally the Nazi Bu...
The sad passing of intrepid astronaut, Neil Armstrong RIP, has proven that there is a silver lining in every dark cloud - that he passed after not only achieved cult, global status by being the first man on the moon, but that he is also the first ast...
Las Vegas, Nevada - Just when we thought we had "smoothed things over" with the Almighty, some dingle berry sets His house on fire. A fireworks display in Las Vegas, Nevada, reported to be the largest in the world, went completely crazy during a J...
Osama bin Laden speaking to mediums on the eve of the first commemoration of his death, says that he sure is in Hell, but he would not want it any other way. "The guys in Heaven all want to come down here. There's no hot stuff up there - not even...
Former Manchester United and Northern Ireland star, George Worst, stunned the football world yesterday after announcing he plans to come back from the dead and return to professional football. Mr Worst, dead, from the Heaven area, spoke to us from...
Infamous comic, Ricky Gervais, has sworn to God that Jesus, his son, has spoken to him direct via the internet! Jesus has actually told Ricky off for claiming that he starved children whilst walking the planet because God only allows thin kids up the...
Anti-war campaigner, Brian Haw, who died of cancer last Friday has reportedly set up an 'anti-cancer' camp at the 'Pearly Gates' and is refusing to move on until God removes cancer from his portfolio of ways to die. An apolplepletic St Peter is sa...
HEAVEN (Friggemall Wire Services) - God, seated in a great golden throne towering high above the realm of Heaven, said he was still giving thought to how to respond to famed British scientist Stephen Hawking's claim that Heaven is "a fairy story."...
Extremist clerics have revealed that terrorist and Al-Queda leader Osama Bin Laden will not receive his expected 72 virgins in the afterlife. The mass murderer and director of the 9/11 attacks was killed in Pakistan, but will not be going to any for...
Church experts reckon a legal ruling has paved the way for vicars and ministers to sue their boss. Methodist minister Haley Moore, of Redruth, Cornwall, challenged a 27-year-old Court of Appeal ruling that prevented church members from making a ca...
In an effort to prepare his people for the up coming 2012 end of the world, God is sending out cards letting people know where they are going after the event. The "save the date "cards where sent out yesterday to maximize planning time. "There...
Even Heaven is on a budget. Wrought-iron pearly gates have been replaced by baby safety fences. The walls of precious gems have been substituted with hip hop iced out jewelry. And swarms of locusts have been reduced to by-stander status as Heaven a...
The Lord Jesus Christ has announced that Heaven's comedy club, Giggles At The Heaven Holiday Inn, will institute a two-drink minimum for the 8:30pm and 11:00pm shows. The 5:00pm "Giggles Buffet" show will remain cover charge and drink minimum-free...
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