They had to cover the old Hammersmith Bridge in London with silver foil, due to the Heatwave, as it was cracking from the heat. The people of the Alien Contact Committee in London are happy - as they have long been trying to contact Aliens using…
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - VP Harris met with President Trump and the two have decided that the heat wave that is gripping the nation is truly one horrendously mothereffen satanic occurrence. The National Rumblings News Agency reports that…
LONDON - (Satire News) - One longtime resident of London, Reginald F. McPatio, 67, said that he has never seen so much damn fire and so much damn smoke in his entire life. He noted that watching the out-of-control English fires on the telly, was l…
Okay, my bad, I have been singing the wrong lyrics for years. When The Clash sang “London is drowning”, I swear to the gods of punk music I thought Joe Strummer was singing “London is burning.” See, ‘cuz then the next line makes strange hopeful s…
Martha and the Vandelles sang about a heatwave burning in their hearts. Now Europe and Texas and much of the rest of the world are burning up. And their hearts just aren’t in it. Do right-wingers who still think some kind of god is in charge of…
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Satire News) - Global warming is a factual fact. Climate change is a factual fact. But "Baby Fingers" Trump, who insists it is all just a hoax, that was invented by Nancy Pelosi and her fellow Democrats, is as fucked up as a mon…
CHICAGO - (Satire News) - To those who STILL insist that there is no such thing as Global Warming (that's you Donald J. Trumptard), look no further than Lake Michigan. The Windy City's Channel 99 weather meteorologist Craig "Heat Wave" Shinsy, has…
WATERLOO, Iowa - (Satire News) - Most of the corn farmers in Iowa are shaking their heads in disbelief, as the infernal temperatures are hovering close to the 110 degree mark. A weatherman for Waterloo's PBS Channel 102, stated that the temperatur…
ST. LOUIS, Missouri - (Satire News) - The 258-year-old city of St. Louis, which was named after Louis Quiskakowski, who was regarded by his relatives, friends, and co-workers as an absolute saint of a man, has just broken their all-time high temperat…
DEVIL'S ASS, Arizona - (Satire News) - The temps in and around the Grand Canyon area have been hitting between 108 and 113 on a daily basis. Reports from Arizona rangers are that the canyon's fire ant population has literally gone up in flames.
As the Olympic track and field trials near an end here at Autzen Stadium, hopeful contestants in the peeing for distance competition were forced to take shelter in a cooling area as temperatures reached 110 degrees on the field. It is unlikely that t…
VANCOUVER, Canada – (Satire News) – Canada’s Royal Mounted News Agency has just announced that the temperature in Vancouver hit 121 degrees at 5:05 pm. The heat was so powerful, that there are reports that some of the city’s stop signs were warped…
SEATTLE – (Satire News) – The city famous for coffee, Bill Gates, and asparagus, has just hit a sweltering heat index of 119 degrees. Many residents of Seattle stated that anyone who still does not believe in climate change is either stupid, hard-…
(UNEDITED) Under the influence of his best 'amigo', who sits in his oval office claiming on Twitter that everything is 'fake news' unless it flows out of his perverted gob, BOJO, has followed suit claiming an approaching heatwave about to descend on…
The extremely hot weather that's being enjoyed by the whole of the UK is set to continue during the first half of this week, but after that, it's going to be back to normal for most of us. Record temperatures have been the order of the day, along...
WAYS TO COOL DOWN IN SMALL WAYS INEXPENSIVELY AND EFFICIENTLY. Put a pan of water in back of a fan- it will act as a mini air conditioner The following foods are known as refrigerants - they cool the body down from within. Eat or drink these:...
Weather forecasters across Europe have said that the searing temperatures that are currently causing so much discomfort to so many people in so many countries, shows no sign of letting up, and is set to continue until it cools off a bit. The heat,...
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