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New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand

Funny story: New Study Finds That Punching Walls Hurts Your Hand

A new study by the Center for National Studies has found that people who punch walls are likely to hurt their hands. This breakthrough research took the scientific community by surprise as it was previously believed that punching a hard, immovable...

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Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

Funny story: Latest Holistic Health Craze! Increasing Number of Americans Opt for Closed-Heart Surgery

According to a recent report from the National Institute of Health, in this age of mass shootings, climate chaos and downward-spiraling human health, an increasing number of Americans have opted to undergo a cutting-edge elective procedure known as c...

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NHS to be outsourced

Sainsbury's and Tesco are the big winners of an invitation to tender organized by the NHS to cut costs and outsource specific services. Jeremy Hunt, Secretary of State for Health, welcomed the news, calling it a 'milestone' in the history of healt...

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Jeremy Hunt spends weekend waiting in a corridor

Funny story: Jeremy Hunt spends weekend waiting in a corridor

Former Health, Education, Water-parks, Traffic Control and Stationary Secretary Jeremy Hunt has spent the weekend waiting in a corridor for news of his next appointment, Deputy Prime Minister and keeper of the Parliamentary pornography. Waiting fo...

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Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Funny story: Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)

Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer's landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have...

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FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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"Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Funny story: "Mmm, Tofurky!" Pleads Desperate Turkey in Final Week Before Thanksgiving

Clearly feeling the heat as he approached his looming slaughter at the age of six weeks, a bloated five-week-old teenage turkey desperately attempted to talk up the appeal of "mock meats" like the widely popular soy-based Tofurky. "Mmmm, Tofurky!"...

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No Matter How You Slice It, Surgical Blunders Are On The Rise

For those of you scheduled to undergo surgery in the near future, you might want to add a few items to your hospital overnight ditty bag. In addition to the usual stash of toothpaste, toothbrush, rosary beads, rabbits foot, Heineken, magazines and Fig Newtons, be sure to include the following: Magic Markers, pens, spray paint, Crayolas, road flares, neon arrows, and a flashing "This End Up" sign.

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McDonut's burgers found to have traces of meat

Following claims by the McDonut's chain that their burgers are more nutritious than a rump steak, the International Standards Association conducted a scientific analysis of their burgers globally. The summarised results show the following slightly wo...

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Can the Internet Cause Hip Problems?

Funny story: Can the Internet Cause Hip Problems?

Winston-Salem, NC [PP] -- Doctors at Wake Forest Medical Center are perplexed at a sudden increase of problems in patients buttocks. They blame the Internet for the cause, based on the reports of some patients. "I was just laughing away while mess...

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Dear Congressman Chaffetz

Dear Congressman Chaffetz: I just wanted you to know that the day after you spoke out about health insurance for low income Americans, I cancelled my order for a new iPhone 7. Not only that, but I got together with the other tenants in my apartment building, and persuaded them to cancel their orders for new iPhones. And without any further urging from me, they voted to a man to cancel all out...

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New Drug to Help Sufferers of Movie Quote Dementia Introduced by Pfizer

Funny story: New Drug to Help Sufferers of Movie Quote Dementia Introduced by Pfizer

San Diego - Drug company Pfizer has announced that clinical studies have completed and their new drug Cinestop, designed to treat sufferers of Cinementia, has been approved by the FDA and will be available soon. Cinementia is a debilitating form o...

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The Vodka Diet™!

WELCOME to the website of THE VODKA DIET™! You are the 2nd visitor to this site! We at THE VODKA DIET™ are excited to bring you the information you need to attain a healthy and happy lifestyle! Are you ready to join the millions of people worldwide who have discovered the benefits of THE VODKA DIET™? Here's how to get started: First, select your short term and long t...

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Dr Farquar and Embarrassing Bodies

Questions from my patients. Embarrassing Bodies. Do we all deserve the body we stand in? I'm a zookeeper. My mouth is where my anus should be. My penis is where my right thumb should be. Should I be careful in the monkey enclosure at feeding time? Claude Nutts DR F: Lucky you! So you still talk shite but don't need a dummy anymore? I've an embarrassing body. It's the body of elders at...

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Health Groups Urging Chart Topping Band the Chainsmokers to Change Their Name

They may be one of the hottest acts in pop at the moment, but US dance music duo the Chainsmokers are being criticized by health organisations and campaigners because of their rather unhealthy-sounding name. The twosome, Andrew Taggart and Alex Pa...

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Popcorn Food Truck Causes Riot at Misophonia Convention

Funny story: Popcorn Food Truck Causes Riot at Misophonia Convention

Every year providers and patients from around the world travel to a central location to attend the annual Misophonia Convention. Misophonia is a disorder of the autonomous nervous system in which particular patterned sounds are incorrectly processed...

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The Singularity Is HERE! Monsanto Produces First Genetically Modified Human - Who/Which Bears Remarkable Resemblance to Average American Male

Funny story: The Singularity Is HERE! Monsanto Produces First Genetically Modified Human - Who/Which Bears Remarkable Resemblance to Average American Male

Scientists everywhere agree that technology is progressing at an exponential rate and that, ultimately, biology and technology will fully and irrevocably merge - a phenomenon many have termed the "singularity." What's been hotly debated, however, is...

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The Science is in: Boogers Are Good For Your Brain

Funny story: The Science is in: Boogers Are Good For Your Brain

Parents, don't be so quick to slap down the hand of your booger eating child, they could be growing some serious brains. Scientists have discovered an entirely new class of compounds in boogers that they are calling cerebrogenic, or brain building.

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Breaking news…

Trump to Continue Dictator Tour

There are still a few dictators in the world that Trump hasn't groveled to.
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