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Funny satire stories about Greg Abbott

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Funny story: Gov. Greg Abbott Angrily Confronts 13 Immigrants From Guatemala And They Spit All Over "Wheelchair Willie's" Ugly Face

Gov. Greg Abbott Angrily Confronts 13 Immigrants From Guatemala And They Spit All Over "Wheelchair Willie's" Ugly Face

EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," (aka Gov. Greg Abbott) stood in front of 13 immigrants from Guatemala and told them that they need to get back to Guadalajara (Abbott flunked Spanish in high school and in college). One of h…

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Funny story: A Doctor Says The Reason Gov. Greg Abbott Is So Fucking Stupid Is Because The Bitch Is Missing One Half of His Brain

A Doctor Says The Reason Gov. Greg Abbott Is So Fucking Stupid Is Because The Bitch Is Missing One Half of His Brain

MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - The dumbest, most ignorant, heartless governor in the history of the Lone Star state, Greg "The Hemorrhoid" Abbott traveled to Florida to visit his BFF and suck buddy Donald "Cheddar Face" Trump. The two have been clos…

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Funny story: 96% of All American Psychiatrists Agree That Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Is Much Crazier Than Adolf Hitler Was

96% of All American Psychiatrists Agree That Texas Gov. Greg Abbott Is Much Crazier Than Adolf Hitler Was

CHICAGO - (Satire News) - A group of 7,207 of the best, most respected psychiatrists in the entire United States met at Chicago's Eliot Ness Convention Center to discuss today's jerks, punks, douche bags, and assholes. The National Rumblings News…

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Funny story: Ted Cruz Caught Sitting On Gov. Greg Abbott's Lap On The Ugly Douche Bag's Wheel Chair

Ted Cruz Caught Sitting On Gov. Greg Abbott's Lap On The Ugly Douche Bag's Wheel Chair

HOUSTON - (Satire News) - Boom Boom News is reporting that two of the most hated, evil, SOBs in the entire state of Texas were caught in a compromising position at a well-known gayistic park in "Space City." BBN reporter Hacienda Fiddle, said she…

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Funny story: The Entire Republic of Mexico Hates Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, The Goofy-Looking GOP Shithead

The Entire Republic of Mexico Hates Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, The Goofy-Looking GOP Shithead

MEXICO CITY, Mexico - (Satire News) - Mexico has made it abundantly clear that they are fed up with the childish, pathetic, dickhead antics of the worst governor in history, Gov. Greg "Shit Face" Abbott. A spokeswoman for the government of Mexico,…

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Funny story: If Texas Governor Greg Abbott Worked Making Burgers At McDonald's His Hate-Filled Ass Would Have Been Fired The First Day

If Texas Governor Greg Abbott Worked Making Burgers At McDonald's His Hate-Filled Ass Would Have Been Fired The First Day

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - iNews has reported that Texas governor Gregg "The Hick Dick" Abbott is about as worthless as a breeding bull with no ding dong. The poor excuse for a human is so stupid that his own mother took him to a fire station…

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Funny story: Texas Asshole Gov. Greg "Douche Bag" Abbott Busses Immigrants To D.C. - Biden Then Busses Them Back To Texas

Texas Asshole Gov. Greg "Douche Bag" Abbott Busses Immigrants To D.C. - Biden Then Busses Them Back To Texas

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The governor of Texas, the wheelchair-bound piece of kangaroo shit, Greg "The Eggplant" Abbott once again shows that he is by far, the undisputed most stupid, idiotic, fucked up governor in the history of governors.

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Funny story: The Texas Ranger Foil A Plot To Kidnap Texas Governor Greg Abbott

The Texas Ranger Foil A Plot To Kidnap Texas Governor Greg Abbott

AUSTIN - (Satire News) - The state's law enforcement agency has just thwarted a plot that would have had the most hated governor in the history of hateful governors kidnapped. Texas Rangers spokesperson Nanette Peggy Tullavinny, 42, reported that…

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Funny story: Most Texas Citizens Want Gov. Greg Abbott Impeached and Exiled To Guatemala

Most Texas Citizens Want Gov. Greg Abbott Impeached and Exiled To Guatemala

AUSTIN - (Satire News) - Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas is hated by more Texans of all political parties, religious religions, and even atheistic atheists than anyone in the history of US politics. Abbott, who looks like an eggplant emoji, recently tol…

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Funny story: Texas Governor Greg Abbott To Be Forcibly Removed From Office

Texas Governor Greg Abbott To Be Forcibly Removed From Office

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The good, law abiding citizens of the Lone Star state have finally had their fill of the the worst, most worthless, piece-of-shit governor in the history of US governors. Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott is hated more than hoof…

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Funny story: Texas Governor Abbott Reveals How He Was Able To Eradicate The Damn Lady Bug Infestation

Texas Governor Abbott Reveals How He Was Able To Eradicate The Damn Lady Bug Infestation

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Back around Christmas time, the Lone Star state of Texas was hit with the worst lady bug infestation since the fall of 1849. This horrific insect invasion, was dubbed by Tittle Tattle Tonight senior writer Pico de Gallo, a…

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Funny story: Las Vegas Oddsmakers Say Beto O’Rourke Will Win In A Landslide Over Texas Governor Greg Abbott

Las Vegas Oddsmakers Say Beto O’Rourke Will Win In A Landslide Over Texas Governor Greg Abbott

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Great news for the decent, law-abiding, non-racist citizens of Texas is that the oddsmakers in Vegas have Beto O’Rourke of El Paso, clobbering Gov. Abbott of Hell! In the upcoming Texas governor’s race. O’Rourke who came v…

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Funny story: The Latest Quinnipinni Poll Shows That Diarrhea Is More Popular Than Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas

The Latest Quinnipinni Poll Shows That Diarrhea Is More Popular Than Gov. Greg Abbott of Texas

CHICAGO – (Satire News) – Quinnipinni has just released their latest poll and it shows that the majority of the people that were polled said that Gov. Greg “Shithead” Abbott is even less popular than diarrhea. One person who was polled remarked th…

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Funny story: A Massive Lady Bug Invasion Hits Texas

A Massive Lady Bug Invasion Hits Texas

WACO, Texas – (Satire News) – Throughout the years, the state of Texas has seen many different types of insect invasions; including the Dreaded Canadian Cicada Invasion of 1959, the Infamous Costa Rican Cricket Invasion of 1993, the Horrendous Missis…

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Funny story: Texas Governor Greg Abbott Has Just Offended Millions of Divorced Adulterous Texans

Texas Governor Greg Abbott Has Just Offended Millions of Divorced Adulterous Texans

AUSTIN – (Satire News) – The governor who is without a shadow of a doubt the worst governor in the entire nation is at it again. Governor Greg “Eggplant Face” Abbott, has just issued a state proclamation that any resident of Texas who got divorced…

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Funny story: Gov. Abbott of Texas Shows Exactly How Full of Sh*t He Is As He Announces His Border Wall Will Be Built Out of Recycled Tampons

Gov. Abbott of Texas Shows Exactly How Full of Sh*t He Is As He Announces His Border Wall Will Be Built Out of Recycled Tampons

WAXAHACHIE, Texas – (Satire News) – The News Blues News Agency has revealed that the two sorriest, shitiest, totally worthless US governors are Ron DeSantis of Florida, and Greg Abbott of Texas. Reporter Velveeta Maracas recently conducted her ver…

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Funny story: Is It About Voter Fatigue Or Private Male-Part Fatigue?

Is It About Voter Fatigue Or Private Male-Part Fatigue?

New commercial on television about voter fatigue, but it’s using voter fatigue as a euphemism for a guy’s sexual performance. Got it? Racy stuff, but it’s okay. At least it’s out of a woman’s uterus. Are you listening, Governor Abbott? Get your v…

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