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Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

Funny story: Hillary Should Smile When She Discusses Rape In Military

On Wednesday night, democratic nominee for president Hillary Clinton used her time during the Commander-in-Chief Forum to talk about, among other things, national security, and how to confront ISIS, veteran's suicide, rape in the military, and taking...

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GOP Leaders Open House of Prostitution

Funny story: GOP Leaders Open House of Prostitution

Associated Press, by Manny Jack Moe --Republican leaders House Speaker Paul Ryan, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus have opened a house of ill repute near the famous Chicken Ranch in Nevada.

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Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Funny story: Genitalia eating fish with human teeth threat did NOT come from Trump

Spokespersons for Mr. Trump have rushed forward to clarify that Mr. Trump has absolutely nothing to do with the latest alarm concerning genitalia eating fish with human teeth. The pacu under scrutiny (related to the piranha) favors male genitalia...

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Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

Funny story: Donald Trump Suspends Campaign After Running Out of Adjectives Aimed at the Level of Fourth Graders

TRUMP HEADQUARTERS (that is, Trump's head)--Donald Trump today suspended his campaign after running out of adjectives aimed at his main demographic: Those who speak and write at the level of fourth graders. After "Crooked Hillary" began to get old,...

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Trumps Emails Said To Be Hacked By Russian Spies Posing As Nigerian 'Prince'

Funny story: Trumps Emails Said To Be Hacked By Russian Spies Posing As Nigerian 'Prince'

Russian agents posing as a Nigerian prince reportedly hacked GOP Presidential candidate Donald J Trump's private email address more than four months ago. However, unlike the recent Democrats National Committee breach which resulted in the release of...

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GOP: We'll Impeach Bill If Hillary Takes Office

Funny story: GOP: We'll Impeach Bill If Hillary Takes Office

Republicans see a bright side if Hillary Clinton becomes President, a second chance to impeach her husband. "Seeing Mr. Clinton face Congressional scrutiny will become the Senate's number one priority if she takes the White House" a spokesperson for...

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Large toy Elephant built for GOP convention malfunctions and may not be ready in time

Funny story: Large toy Elephant built for GOP convention malfunctions and may not be ready in time

A Host Committee representative for next week's GOP convention in Cleveland has indicated problems with upcoming ceremonies. The concept is brilliant, he explained, somewhat as with the old idea of the Trojan Horse, in which a large toy Elephant w...

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GOP Members Stain Congressional Hearing

Funny story: GOP Members Stain Congressional Hearing

Some Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI Director James Comey's handling of Hillary Clinton's emails were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings. The source, a custodian working...

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Little Turd who wouldn't flush to be honored at GOP convention!

The New York Times revealed this morning that leaked memos from the GOP indicate that the Little Turd who wouldn't flush will be honored by Donald Trump at the upcoming GOP convention. GOP (Grand old Poop) to dedicate last evening at convention t...

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To Promote Diversity Donald Trump Insults Nearly Every Other Ethnic Group in America

Funny story: To Promote Diversity Donald Trump Insults Nearly Every Other Ethnic Group in America

Twittersphere, USA--Having already insulted Mexicans, Blacks, and Muslims and now--with his attacks on Twitter calling Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas"--Native Americans as well, Donald Trump today launched a new diversity campaign to offend nearly ever...

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GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

Funny story: GOP Promises To Spank Trump If He Abuses Nuclear Arsenal

Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan say they will resort to corporal punishment if Donald Trump should ever abuse his access to the nations nuclear codes. "I think a good old fashioned spanking or paddling would be in order," McConnell said. "Donald Tru...

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A Soliloquy by the GOP

Funny story: A Soliloquy by the GOP

To end, or not to end, that's the conundrum: Whether 'tis Nobler for the Party to suffer The Slings and Insults of outrageous Trump, Or to take Aim against his rowdy rabble, And by opposing end him: to cry, to weep No more! And by this Creep, to say we end The Headache, and the Xenophobia Our Party's heir to? 'Tis a conflagration We cannot now avoid. To cry, to weep, To weep, perchan...

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Massive rock named "the Lewandowsky" strikes Jupiter plus other developments in outer space

Funny story: Massive rock named "the Lewandowsky" strikes Jupiter plus other developments in outer space

Scientists have named the massive rock that struck Jupiter last Monday "The Lewandowsky," after Donald Trump's campaign manager. At this time Mr. Lewandowsky has been charged with assault on reporter Michelle Fields, and there is some scientific i...

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Republican Party Now Classified as an Endangered Species

Funny story: Republican Party Now Classified as an Endangered Species

The International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN) has now added the Republican Party to its "Red List," which is a list of species world-wide ranging from completely extinct to near-threatened. The GOP, or the Grand Obsolescent Party, as...

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Kanye Ridicules Cruz & Trump Rap Battle

The Donald has tried to reach out to black Americans by staging a highly contrived music battle with Ted Cruz. However, he hasn't had much success. Man nah vote for Ted Cruiser, dis dull Establishment GOP loser! Man will nah vote, dis guy a jerk! Him Cruz Canadian, nah let man jive 'n' smirk! Man never vote for nah Teddy Cruz, Trump have fi win, me man dem Teddy lose! Cruz has hi...

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Gaseous hero dog to give Keynote address at GOP convention!

Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee strode to the podium at the GOP headquarters this morning. He was unsmiling and seemed to be in a hurry. He wasted no time and spoke abruptly: "I am announcing here today that the committe...

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GOP cancels debates! Schedules nationally televised Circle Jerk on Fox News!

"Shocked but not surprised," stated a well known political analyst when a spokesman for the Republican Party announced the cancellation of future debates and substituted a nationally televised Circle Jerk to be shown on Fox News. A Fox News spokesma...

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Scientists Find the Remains of Homo Moderatus Republicanus in a Parking Lot in Columbus, OH

Funny story: Scientists Find the Remains of Homo Moderatus Republicanus in a Parking Lot in Columbus, OH

Columbus, OH--Archeologists from Ohio State University, in a dig in a parking lot where an Elks Club once stood, announced that they had found the now extinct, but once fairly common, remains of a species they are calling Homo Moderatus Republicanus.

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Breaking news…

Sales blames ring for illness

Boston Red Sox baseball player "Lefty" Sales said his cock ring made him sick. "It turned my penis green," he said. "My girlfriend paid for gold, but obviously, the jeweler sold her brass."
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