Associated Press, by Manny Jack Moe --Republican leaders House Speaker Paul Ryan, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus have opened a house of ill repute near the famous Chicken Ranch in Nevada.
Spokespersons for Mr. Trump have rushed forward to clarify that Mr. Trump has absolutely nothing to do with the latest alarm concerning genitalia eating fish with human teeth.
The pacu under scrutiny (related to the piranha) favors male genitalia...
TRUMP HEADQUARTERS (that is, Trump's head)--Donald Trump today suspended his campaign after running out of adjectives aimed at his main demographic: Those who speak and write at the level of fourth graders. After "Crooked Hillary" began to get old,...
Russian agents posing as a Nigerian prince reportedly hacked GOP Presidential candidate Donald J Trump's private email address more than four months ago. However, unlike the recent Democrats National Committee breach which resulted in the release of...
Republicans see a bright side if Hillary Clinton becomes President, a second chance to impeach her husband. "Seeing Mr. Clinton face Congressional scrutiny will become the Senate's number one priority if she takes the White House" a spokesperson for...
A Host Committee representative for next week's GOP convention in Cleveland has indicated problems with upcoming ceremonies.
The concept is brilliant, he explained, somewhat as with the old idea of the Trojan Horse, in which a large toy Elephant w...
Some Republican members of Congress who questioned FBI Director James Comey's handling of Hillary Clinton's emails were reportedly so excited for the opportunity they may have wet their pants during the proceedings.
The source, a custodian working...
The New York Times revealed this morning that leaked memos from the GOP indicate that the Little Turd who wouldn't flush will be honored by Donald Trump at the upcoming GOP convention.
GOP (Grand old Poop) to dedicate last evening at convention t...
Twittersphere, USA--Having already insulted Mexicans, Blacks, and Muslims and now--with his attacks on Twitter calling Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas"--Native Americans as well, Donald Trump today launched a new diversity campaign to offend nearly ever...
Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan say they will resort to corporal punishment if Donald Trump should ever abuse his access to the nations nuclear codes.
"I think a good old fashioned spanking or paddling would be in order," McConnell said. "Donald Tru...
To end, or not to end, that's the conundrum:
Whether 'tis Nobler for the Party to suffer
The Slings and Insults of outrageous Trump,
Or to take Aim against his rowdy rabble,
And by opposing end him: to cry, to weep
No more! And by this Creep, to say we end
The Headache, and the Xenophobia
Our Party's heir to? 'Tis a conflagration
We cannot now avoid. To cry, to weep,
To weep, perchan...
Scientists have named the massive rock that struck Jupiter last Monday "The Lewandowsky," after Donald Trump's campaign manager.
At this time Mr. Lewandowsky has been charged with assault on reporter Michelle Fields, and there is some scientific i...
The International Union for the Conservation of Nature (IUCN) has now added the Republican Party to its "Red List," which is a list of species world-wide ranging from completely extinct to near-threatened. The GOP, or the Grand Obsolescent Party, as...
The Donald has tried to reach out to black Americans by staging a highly contrived music battle with Ted Cruz. However, he hasn't had much success.
Man nah vote for Ted Cruiser, dis dull Establishment GOP loser!
Man will nah vote, dis guy a jerk!
Him Cruz Canadian, nah let man jive 'n' smirk!
Man never vote for nah Teddy Cruz,
Trump have fi win, me man dem Teddy lose!
Cruz has hi...
Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee strode to the podium at the GOP headquarters this morning. He was unsmiling and seemed to be in a hurry. He wasted no time and spoke abruptly: "I am announcing here today that the committe...
"Shocked but not surprised," stated a well known political analyst when a spokesman for the Republican Party announced the cancellation of future debates and substituted a nationally televised Circle Jerk to be shown on Fox News. A Fox News spokesma...
Columbus, OH--Archeologists from Ohio State University, in a dig in a parking lot where an Elks Club once stood, announced that they had found the now extinct, but once fairly common, remains of a species they are calling Homo Moderatus Republicanus.
Hey! Listen up, you poor, miserable, deluded little satire writers. You guys thought you could make fun of the old Trump here, you thought I was just like all the other guys, right?
Yeah, I know what you guys do. I know your style. You did it to Clinton. You did to Bush. You're doing it to Obama.
And somehow, you poor, pitiful little satire scribblers and jaded comedy jacks thought you cou...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
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Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe
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