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Funny satire stories about Furniture

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Funny story: DIY Murder Toll Rises

DIY Murder Toll Rises

Edinburgh, Scotland and/or UK - Store staff at IKEHYA in Edinburgh were shocked to discover another murder victim yesterday, the third in the store in as many months. The 32-year-old man had been beaten, kicked and bitten, attacked with DIY tools, an...

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Funny story: "Antimacassars Useless" claims What Chair? magazine

"Antimacassars Useless" claims What Chair? magazine

Antimacassars, the small material or crocheted pads designed to fit on the headrests of chairs, have been proven not to work. In extensive testing, What Chair? magazine found that they did very little to prevent upholstery infestation by the Common...

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Funny story: Area Door Viciously Assaulted and Ripped Asunder

Area Door Viciously Assaulted and Ripped Asunder

A cabinet door has been viciously ripped from its hinges, beaten, stripped of its veneer finish, and reduced to small, unrecognizable chunks of particle board debris. Reporters at the scene found area kitchen owner Fred Felber curled up in a feta...

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Funny story: MFI bought by Nestle

MFI bought by Nestle

Nestle the international food giant today announced that it had bought MFI the British flat pack furniture retailer. A press release from Nestle spoke of the obvious synergy between the two companies, and the huge cost savings to be made by the ac...

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Funny story: IKEA Runs Out of Little Wrenches, Customers Confused

IKEA Runs Out of Little Wrenches, Customers Confused

Though showrooms continue to display fully assembled furniture, customers have been at a loss on what to do with the boxes of rectangular simulated wooden pieces once they arrive at home. Due to a shortage in little steel Allen wrenches and screwdri...

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Funny story: The Occasional Table that is always a chair

The Occasional Table that is always a chair

Furniture factory and shop sized man trap, Ikea has launched a new product, set to take the western world by story. The new Gilligan range of flat-pack furniture has as its centrepiece attraction an Occasional table that is always a chair. Pro...

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Funny story: Man Buys Sofa for Full Price, Retail Downturn in Tailspin

Man Buys Sofa for Full Price, Retail Downturn in Tailspin

Consumer confidence has hit an all time low in Britain with the announcement from home furnishings giant DFS that a man bought a sofa for full price over the weekend. Corporate spokesperson Polly Urethane broke the bleak news in an interview with...

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Funny story: Ikea shares plummet as same-sex couples now expected to register at Wal-Mart, Kmart and the Piggly Wiggly

Ikea shares plummet as same-sex couples now expected to register at Wal-Mart, Kmart and the Piggly Wiggly

Los Angeles, California - As same-sex couple gain mainstream acceptance in society, companies like Ikea, which were among the first corporations to advocate homosexual rights by running TV and print media ads featuring a gay couple selecting furnitur...

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Funny story: Ottumwa Iowa Man Produces Worlds Largest Stool

Ottumwa Iowa Man Produces Worlds Largest Stool

A Spokesman for the Guinness Book of World Records, Sir Reginald Bottoms, announced today that a record for the largest stool ever produced by a single human being would go into their record books. "My god you should have seen that sucker, I ha...

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Funny story: DFS Have Decided NOT to Have a Sale this year!

DFS Have Decided NOT to Have a Sale this year!

SOFA, SO GOOD! - UK furniture giant, DFS (Dismal Furnishing Sales) have wisely decided not to hold a sale for this year and possibly the foreseeable future. Following an audit by their Financial Consultants, Snatchit...

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Funny story: Canadian couch charged with racism

Canadian couch charged with racism

QUEBEC, CANADA--A rather large couch in Canada has been charged with racism and violation of hate speech laws after a label discovered on the bottom of a seat cushion was revealed to read the colour of the couch was "nigger brown." When Doris Moor...

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