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Funny satire stories about Football (Soccer)

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Arsenal V Koln

Arsenal kicked off their UEFA Eu-Hopeless league campaign with a disastrous 3-1 home win against FC Koln. In a match that will be remembered for its intense crowd violence long after all the gutless players for Arsenal die from having no guts. An...

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Philippes Fed Up

Back and to the Left news follows sport purely for the hyperbole. Especially the shrieking nonsense that follows every single decision at Arsenal football club, our favourite punch line. So in the spirit of all things fair we'll write a article ab...

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Scotland's Qualifying Surge

Unrealistic expectations soared in throughout Scottish football as the national team (ranked below the Egyptian blind team) beat the mighty Malta 2-0. Despite having no chance to realistically qualify for this (or any other) international tournament...

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PFA say FU to FA rule changes!

Funny story: PFA say FU to FA rule changes!

Since UEFA and FIFA announced their new ABBA penalty tiebreaker shootout system, the FA have decided that now's a good time to unveil some rule changes of their own. The first notable change will be the introduction of a select panel of judges who...

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PSG Paris pay 200 million Euros for a 2 year-old super kid!

Funny story: PSG Paris pay 200 million Euros for a 2 year-old super kid!

The football world is rocking at the shocking events pertaining to a Brazilian footy superstar being transferred from one club to another for the horrendous sum of over 200 million Euros. However, this is just the beginning of the end for all comm...

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Sunderland Spiteback

Funny story: Sunderland Spiteback

In an astonishing response to Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson slating his city the Mayor of Sunderland has released this statement: "Let me start by saying Darren Gibson is a round chested, no class cunt who would injure himself wiping his ars...

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Sunday Bloody Sunderland

Funny story: Sunday Bloody Sunderland

Sunderland midfielder Darren Gibson has confirmed what the rest of the world already knows: that Sunderland are shite. Darren, who himself is quite shite, was caught on camera slagging off everything he could about the team, the city, his neighbou...

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Cash conscious Arsenal's no cost, new player plan, gets the red card from Wenger!

Funny story: Cash conscious Arsenal's no cost, new player plan, gets the red card from Wenger!

The Arsenal board of directors voted overwhelmingly to provide long serving coach Arsene Wenger with the extra resources he requested to find new talent. They unanimously agreed to do this, by giving their supporters a chance to play in home games...

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Fabulous STAR UK tabloid gives their brain-damaged footy readers the latest on the Ronaldo saga!

Funny story: Fabulous STAR UK tabloid gives their brain-damaged footy readers the latest on the Ronaldo saga!

Now there is no need to tell anybody with an ounce of sense between their ears that Brit Tabloids are full of utter CRAP! However, one particular RAG has taken taking the piss out of it's highly intellectual, intelligent readership, to a new level...

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Rooney In United Stand-off

International marketing firm and social media gurus, Manchester United, have dropped their biggest hint yet that England Captain Wayne Rooney will be leaving the club. United's record goal scored has spent time on the substitutes bench this season an...

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Joe Hart is a belly-flop hero in Scotland!

Funny story: Joe Hart is a belly-flop hero in Scotland!

The Oldest international match on the planet was given extra entertainment value as Joe Hart, England goalkeeper, revealed to the world his next goal (very punny); he is training to participate in the next Olympics and hopes to win a gold in the "Bel...

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Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!

Funny story: Jose Mourinho buys 500 new players!

After the mega success of Manchester United in the Europa League, Jose Mourinho, has decided he needs to strengthen his squad and has handed CEO, Ed Woodward, a list of 500 players he wants! The media circus around United is going bananas speculat...

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Ray Wilkins recognised as cultural icon

Funny story: Ray Wilkins recognised as cultural icon

Time magazine has just released their list of most influential people 2017. Amongst the world's most influential creative artists, musicians and political activists is a name unfamiliar with a large number of people around the world. The decision to...

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Arsene Wenger's Arsenal get stuffed and who does he blame?

Funny story: Arsene Wenger's Arsenal get stuffed and who does he blame?

A sad, humble bunch of spineless, blank-firing Gunners led by their French fumbling manager got blown away yesterday by a flock of ravaging Eagles at the Palace last night! Now normally managers would concede honorably to such a defeat but, Messr...

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Cuba Signs Paroled Cannibal As Striker

Funny story: Cuba Signs Paroled Cannibal As Striker

Looking to beef up their roster for the year, The Cuban National Football Team hired recently paroled cannibal Pepe Kerjoly. Hailing from a Serbian/Cuban family, Kerjoly was identified by prison scouts when he was a teenager and led the prison foo...

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Claudio Ranieri wins "UK 2017 Sack Race"!

Funny story: Claudio Ranieri wins "UK 2017 Sack Race"!

The annual national sack race that takes place in England around this time has been won by a rank outsider, Claudio Ranieri, of Italian origin, but residing in the stormy land of Leicester, UK. Previous winners, Jose Mourinho, Big Sam Allardyce, L...

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Why is the "Special One" always grumpy?

Funny story: Why is the "Special One" always grumpy?

Jose Mourinho, Manchester United manager, seems to have a chip on his shoulder as big as his salary because he is always grumpy! A soccer shrink working for Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) called, Sir Blubby Blusby, has been studying...

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The world awaits a clash of fallen Titans not hoping for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes!

Funny story: The world awaits a clash of fallen Titans not hoping for a Phoenix to rise from the ashes!

Manchester, Sunday 15th on January, sees two once titanic giants clash in a Theater of Dreams, or a nightmare for one, depending who wins and loses this monumental battle. The crowns of these two giants has slipped drastically in recent years, but...

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