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Funny satire stories about Florida

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Southern States band together to deport Zimmerman to Alaska

Funny story: Southern States band together to deport Zimmerman to Alaska

A coalition of Southern States led by Florida and Texas have convened a plenary and joint session of their legislatures to draft a bill banning George Zimmerman of domicile in any of the participating states. The same bill proposes to deport him as f...

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The Reason Why Florida Has Banned The Computer Function, Ctrl-Alt-Delete

Funny story: The Reason Why Florida Has Banned The Computer Function, Ctrl-Alt-Delete

PENSACOLA, Florida - The governor of Florida has just issued a Governor's Directive which mandates that all computers within the state will no longer be allowed to use the Ctrl-Alt-Delete computer feature. A spokesperson for the governor, P.K. "Ta...

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Florida Demands That The Rapper Known As Flo Rida Change His Name

Funny story: Florida Demands That The Rapper Known As Flo Rida Change His Name

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA - The attorney general of Florida has just sent a certified letter to rap singer Flo Rida. The letter makes it abundantly clear that the state of Florida is insisting that Tramar Dillard, who goes by the rap name Flo Rida, imm...

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Florida's Plans For A George Zimmerman Theme Park Fall Through

Funny story: Florida's Plans For A George Zimmerman Theme Park Fall Through

TALLAHASSEE, Florida - National Focus Magazine is reporting that the heated issue of a George Zimmerman Theme Park has caused quite a hoopla in the Plywood State of Florida. State Senator Claxton F. Malagueña [D-Fort Walton Beach] spearheaded a dr...

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Florida OKs Hand Grenades for "Stand-Your-Ground" Defense

Funny story: Florida OKs Hand Grenades for "Stand-Your-Ground" Defense

Special to TPN - Florida Governor Rick Scott today signed into law an expansion of his state's controversial "Stand-Your-Ground" statute 776.013. Those with so-called "carry" permits for handguns will be allowed to conceal on their persons not more t...

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Florida Implements An Amazing New Teenage Curfew

Funny story: Florida Implements An Amazing New Teenage Curfew

TALLAHASSEE, Florida - The state of Florida has decided that in order to prevent anymore senseless acts of violence [i.e. The George Zimmerman case] it will be putting into effect a new curfew which will apply to anyone between the ages of 8 and 21.

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George Zimmerman to be tapped to head the NYPD

Funny story: George Zimmerman to be tapped to head the NYPD

New York City -- Lame duck Mayor Michael Bloomberg is working to install neighborhood watch favorite George Zimmerman as the city's next Police Commissioner. "Think of this as my going away present to the city," said Bloomberg, who will be out o...

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The Amazing $590 Million Powerball Winner's Surgery

Funny story: The Amazing $590 Million Powerball Winner's Surgery

ZEPHYRHILLS, Florida - Eighty-four-year-old Gloria C. MacKenzie the $590 million Powerball winner recently stated that one of the first things she is going to do is to get a complete makeover. And by that Ms. MacKenzie said that she just doesn't m...

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The Kansas City Chiefs Could Be Moving To Chattanooga

Funny story: The Kansas City Chiefs Could Be Moving To Chattanooga

KANSAS CITY - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily is reporting that the word on the streets of Kansas City is that the NFL Chiefs could be moving. Rufus Reno with SBID said that he spoke with an inside source in the Chiefs organization and was told tha...

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Florida Jails Animal Lover For Petting Manatee

Funny story: Florida Jails Animal Lover For Petting Manatee

FORT PIERCE, Fla. -- A Fort Pierce man, Wyan William Waterman, was arrested Sunday after posting online photos of himself and two young children petting and holding a manatee calf, according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (F...

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Couple addicted to coffee enemas finally release names of favorite blends

Funny story: Couple addicted to coffee enemas finally release names of favorite blends

TAMPA, Fl. - The Florida couple who came clean this week about their addiction to coffee enemas has released a short list of the highly anticipated names of coffee blends that they shoot into their colons via anus up to four times a day. Wife Tamm...

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A Crowd of Soccer Moms Gasp at Flo-Rida Lyrics

Funny story: A Crowd of Soccer Moms Gasp at Flo-Rida Lyrics

Manhattan, NY - NBC's Today Show kicked off a series of Thanksgiving week concerts with an outdoor show by rising rap star, Flo-Rida, on Monday. An impressive crowd of Flo-Rida fans turned out for the free event outside NBC's Today Show studios in...

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Northern Floridians Await Circumcision

Funny story: Northern Floridians Await Circumcision

Tallahasee - Now that election officials have finally tallied up the votes from yet another tangled mess of a Presidential election in the sunshine state, it has left many residents in the nation's most phallic-like state feeling rather… limp. Wit...

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Obama wins Florida, vows "A change is coming to the Penis State!"

Funny story: Obama wins Florida, vows "A change is coming to the Penis State!"

TALLAHASSEE, Florida (ABSNN) - The Florida Secretary of State certified today that Barack Obama won the state's election by a razor-thin margin of 74,000 votes. Tea Party freshman Congressman, Allen West, was defeated by fewer than 3,000 votes b...

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Zombies for Romney claims Florida group

Funny story: Zombies for Romney claims Florida group

OCALA, Florida (ABSNN) - The National Chapter of Zombies USA, or ZUSA, overwhelmingly endorsed Mitt Romney for President today. According to ZUSA officials "our membership voted 6710 to 47 in favor endorsing Mitt Romney over Barack Obama in the upco...

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No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

Funny story: No Malarkey, Giant Eyeball Found on Florida Beach!

Things will never be the same in Pompano Beach, Florida. Not since a giant blue eyeball was found on the beach there. No definite info yet as to how it got there or who owns it. As news of the eyeball spread, there were a variety of reactions. "I say it belongs to big brother," said a Florida teenager. "He's always watching, y'know." An older lady on the beach was sure the eyebal...

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NASCAR Announces A Monumental Change In Its Races

Funny story: NASCAR Announces A Monumental Change In Its Races

DAYTONA BEACH, Florida - NASCAR first came into being in 1947, when it was organized by Bill France. The auto racing giant now sanctions over 1,500 races in over 40 states including the countries of Switzerland, Cambodia, and Bolivia. NASCAR Vi...

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George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips

Funny story: George Zimmerman's Wife Arrested! Rev. Al Sharpton Reportedly Does Three Back Flips

SANFORD, Florida - Well it appears that The Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey Circus has come to Sanford. Just when it seems that the Zimmerman Saga could not get any weirder, Georgy Porgy's wife Shellie "Belly" Zimmerman comes out of the wo...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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