ORLANDO, Florida - (Satire News) - The Board of Directors of SeaWorld, the world famous marine mammal park, ride theme park, and oceanarium has voted to change the name of the aquatic themed park. The board voted 7 to 6 to change the name from Se…
OTTAWA, Canada - (Satire News) - The Canadian government has just informed Ukraine that they have shipped 2 million strips of Canadian bacon to them via Delta Airlines. The bacon is from Quebec's Celine Dion Canadian Bacon Factory, and is consider…
Critical Race Theory, which explains how two hundred years of Racism, lynching and other yearly killings of Blacks, in America has affected our cities and neighborhoods, and affected our social interactions, is taught in a few rich Ivy league college…
KISSIMMEE, Florida - (Satire News) - The local PBS affifilate, Channel 89½ is reporting that a citrus grower has discovered an adult coconut tree growing in his tangerine orchard. The orchard owner, identified as Satchel Pennyfixx, 76, told Channe…
MIAMI - (Satire News) - The US Weather Guild is reporting that a huge, dangerous-as-shit hurricane has just formed off the coast of Cuba. The hurricane, which is predicted to hit the Florida Keys as a Category 6, could most likely end up totally s…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - (Satire News) - A majority of citizens of The Plywood State, are saying that they put the full blame for the spreading Monkeypox virus on DeSantis The Devil. One resident of the pistol-looking state, Delfin D. Seaweed, 78, s…
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - One of Putin's girlfriends naval Admiral Svetlana Svetvinski, has stated that yes, it's true that the short, stocky Russian dictator's dick is in fact shaped like the state of Florida. The admiral, whom Putin recently name…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - (Satire News) - Reports from several reputable news agencies including BuzzFuzz, Boom Boom News, and The Cloud 9 News Agency all agree that the days of the arrogant, sarcastic, labia majora-faced governor Ron DeSantis are numbe…
MALIBU BEACH - (Satire News) - Lots and lots of Tinsel Town celebrities are still recovering from the after effects of a once in every 400-years devastating tornado. Bedroom Pillow Talk senior writer Carolina Chipotle, talked with many of the fant…
MALIBU BEACH - (Satire News) - The rich, talented, very popular residents of Malibu Beach are shaking like a salt shaker at a popcorn convention. The Santa Sopaipilla Fire is expected to get within 95 yards of the exclusive beach house resort comm…
I tried a new gym the other day and saw Ron DeSantis on the bench press. I went up and asked if he was a member, and after staring at my crotch for a solid thirty seconds, he said, “Yeah, I pump. I pump hard. See my lats and delts and pecs? T…
Opponents of a Republican assault on the Disney Company, the largest employer in the Sunshine State, warn the legislation is grooming children to pay higher taxes. “Florida Republicans got mad at Disney, and took revenge because the mouse roared i…
ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida – (Satire News) – The high-ranking Republican party powers-that-be are having fits at the thought that two very staunch red states could flip over and become blue (Democratic) states. Life long GOPer Percy Oniontree, 43, sa…
KEY WEST, Florida – (Satire News) – In a move that has drawn criticism and ire from millions of overweight people throughout America, the Sleek & Slender Gym located in Key West, has just implemented a new policy. A spokesperson for the S&…
TAMPA BAY, Florida - (Satire News) - In a breaking story, Boom Boom News reporter Hacienda Fiddle is reporting that Tom Brady, who just recently retired from the NFL after 22 seasons is contemplating throwing his 'helmet' into the ring and running fo…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Florida state legislature has just passed Resolution Bill #17-4169 SI, which states that it is now strictly forbidden for a couple to engage in sexual intercourse in the back of a vehicle, namely a car, a tr…
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (Satire News) – The Plywood State of Florida has just announced that there are now more nude beaches in the state than in all of the other 49 states together. A spokesperson for the state stated that the weather along with t…
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