Chairperson Yellen of the Federal Reserve has again played it close to the vest. Fearful of raising rates, she said, "Because it could cause an unintended glitch in the economy, I'm passing at this time." "Are you," reporter Wilma Terman asked,...
Washington AC/DC - (Ass Mess): It was red feces all round as a two kilo bag of Hillary Clinton's stools was delivered unexpectedly to the desk of Janet Yellen, chair of the Board of Governors of the US Federal Reserve System. An accompanying not...
Washington, DC - Americans won't have Capitalism to kick around anymore. The economic system that built the nation is calling it quits, scheduled to retire next month, when Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke steps down. In an impromptu news conference, sta...
MSNBC's version of Fox News' typical blonde bombshell reporters, Andrea Mitchell pretends to be the network's chief foreign affairs correspondent, reporting upon the sexual infidelities of foreign heads of state. She also hosts Andrea Mitchell Reports, on which she repeats gossip concerning the adulterous pursuits of U. S. politicians, unless they are members of the Democratic Party. To show th...
Washington, DC -- America is about to pay a high price for its love affair with its five favorite letters. The vowels -- A,E,I,O,U -- have become so popular that there aren't enough of them to go around, according to a recently published FB* report.
Washington DC - According to anonymous sources close to Bernanke, he is selling all the securities, all the stocks, bonds, realestate, and gold that he purchased with the Federal Reserve System. Why? According to sources, Bernanke is leaving the...
Not wanting to come in second place to Hurricane Sandy in terms of financial ruination and victimization of the down-trodden, tax-hiccup H&R Block begins its two-pronged ritualized cozening of its clients with Emerald Advance AND their latest edu...
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown. CEO, JD, stated that the re...
Atlantic Ocean - Our source, Micky Splainit aboard the S.S. Dollylop, a pipeline building vessel dispatched by the Federal Reserve, reports that construction of a pipeline capable of pumping a trillion dollars per day to Germany is nearly completed.
With America's debt crisis spiralling out of control, the Federal Reserve has called on all Government Departments to review their portfolios to look for any cost saving or revenue generating opportunities. In a leaked memo from the National Park...
Fans of the 2008 World Cup will remember the stunning track record of Paul the Octopus, who predicted 8/8 World Cup final results by selecting mussels out of one of two boxes. Shortly after his predictive victory Paul was declared dead and his remain...
Federal Reserve Bank, Printing Press Division: A trillion dollar here and trillion dollar there. The US is "running out of time" to reach a deal on raising the country's debt ceiling to avert a possible early August default. It took the United S...
After sixteen consecutive quarters of shockingly incorrect calls on the state of U.S. economy, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke said this week's press conference would be his final sorry attempt at making predictions about the financial d...
Washington - In an attempt to stimulate the US economy, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke gives Americans the thumbs-up to begin using Monopoly money. At a Fed press conference Monday morning, Bernanke encouraged Americans to, "Pass Go, collect $...
Washington DC, USA: US President Barack Obama unveiling plans for $7.2 trillion (£4.5 trillion) of deficit spending over the next decade, will test the bond markets with mega-deficits, whilst making little attempt to control the spiralling costs of...
The latest Federal Reserve minutes included a topic which simply stated "Nervous Pricks" According to sources, the Fed is more concerned about a genital herpes flare up than inflation. The minutes reveal a comment from an anonymous party statin...
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