Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
NEW YORK - JP Morgan issued a press release at a press conference today stating that they had to stop buying anything. This has nothing to do with the fact that they lost billions of dollars, the exact amount unknown. CEO, JD, stated that the re...
Atlantic Ocean - Our source, Micky Splainit aboard the S.S. Dollylop, a pipeline building vessel dispatched by the Federal Reserve, reports that construction of a pipeline capable of pumping a trillion dollars per day to Germany is nearly completed.
With America's debt crisis spiralling out of control, the Federal Reserve has called on all Government Departments to review their portfolios to look for any cost saving or revenue generating opportunities. In a leaked memo from the National Park...
Fans of the 2008 World Cup will remember the stunning track record of Paul the Octopus, who predicted 8/8 World Cup final results by selecting mussels out of one of two boxes. Shortly after his predictive victory Paul was declared dead and his remain...
Federal Reserve Bank, Printing Press Division: A trillion dollar here and trillion dollar there. The US is "running out of time" to reach a deal on raising the country's debt ceiling to avert a possible early August default. It took the United S...
After sixteen consecutive quarters of shockingly incorrect calls on the state of U.S. economy, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke said this week's press conference would be his final sorry attempt at making predictions about the financial d...
Washington - In an attempt to stimulate the US economy, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke gives Americans the thumbs-up to begin using Monopoly money. At a Fed press conference Monday morning, Bernanke encouraged Americans to, "Pass Go, collect $...
Switzerland - The secretive Bilderberg group plans to take reserve banking to the next level, according to Mr. Z, our confidential Bilderberg conference mole. In a small caucus of top leaders, rife with royalty, it was decided to do away with the...
Washington DC, USA: US President Barack Obama unveiling plans for $7.2 trillion (£4.5 trillion) of deficit spending over the next decade, will test the bond markets with mega-deficits, whilst making little attempt to control the spiralling costs of...
The latest Federal Reserve minutes included a topic which simply stated "Nervous Pricks" According to sources, the Fed is more concerned about a genital herpes flare up than inflation. The minutes reveal a comment from an anonymous party statin...
In an historic move Federal Reserve Secretary Ben Bernanke has named Friday March 5 as the last day for money printing in the United States. "Sometimes you just get to where you have to call it a day." said the Fed Chief during an unusually rambli...
WASHINGTON DC - The Federal Reserve issued a warning through a special courier to me for world-wide publication to China, "Do not attempt to keep our currency". As the note handed to me stated: US currency is the property of the United States G...
WASHINGTON DC - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke announced to a small disparate pool of reporters today that due to the weak U.S. economy and labor market a new ten prong approach to placing money in the hands of Joe the Six-pack will be impleme...
Sioux Falls (DP) - In an unanimous vote, the Senate approved a privately owned bank to takeover the Federal Reserve to manage the nation's money supply. Obama said, "It is time to cut the friction of the middleman out and work directly with the n...
Harare, Zimbabwe. Ben Bernanke is very pleased with his visit at the central bank in the Zimbabwean capital, Harare. Dr. Bernanke is visiting his Zimbabwean colleague, Reserve Bank Governor Dr. Gideon Gono, and the Zimbabwe President, Dr. Robert Muga...
WASHINGTON DC, U.S.A. - Federal Reserve chairman Bernanke canceled all bonds held by China in response to the consequential damages due to Chinese lead, melamine, and now stinky wallboard exports harming the U.S. economy beyond repair. In addition...
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