An elderly man from Louisburg, North Carolina has sued a well known weight loss program after losing fifteen pounds and three inches using their program. His suit is for reckless endangerment, false advertising and public humiliation. He appeared a...
Shrugging off warnings about heat exhaustion, dehydration, and running being hard on the joints, a small but committed sector of the American population continue to cling to their obsession with extreme sports, like jogging and power-walking. “It'...
A Syrian man named Abu is believed to be the fattest man alive and he is in love with a Mexican transgender according to celebrity gossip. His weight reached an incredible 500 kilograms and he smells like an old sardine can. Iman Ahmad Abdulati,...
Kim Jong's Buns - North Kiarrhea It was a bloody mess at the launching pad today as members of US special forces reported seeing a horrible missile test failure. When the Jongdong II missile ignited, it fissiled for several minutes. Kim Jong...
Only in Trumps America would such a move be considered in keeping with current equality laws. After recent pressure from 'large' groups of eatavists, several fast food restaurant chains have given in and applied a nationwide ban on healthy peopl...
We figured out what's behind the obesity epidemic plaguing liberal woman everywhere. And it's not what you think.. Liberal millennial women from all walks of life have decided to put their differences aside and work together, seeking answers to t...
Brits will spend £16billion on snacks, takeaways and sugary drinks this year. Scientists (those guys who are YET to cure racism) have said it's due to our extremely busy lifestyles. Back and to the Left news reckon it's to do with those aforementione...
With the peak of the summer season, the heat and humidity have locals concerned about the effect that local thunder-thighs have on the well-being of their neighborhood. As shorts get shorter, and tops become more cropped, it leaves much more room fo...
The Raleigh News & Observer is reporting this morning that a Raleigh police officer is suing Starbucks for one million dollars. His lawsuit states that he gained over three hundred pounds in three years from free donuts he had been given at the...
TRENTON, NJ - The spokesman for The Chris Christie Foundation, Betha Buhderbahl, announced that the foundation will take on a troubling, weighty issue when it comes to the income gap between healthy people and the obese. Obese people make 72 cents...
America's first lady announced at a White House press conference today: "In these tough times we can't have forty percent of the population flushing unnecessary vital resources down the toilet! "It's a waste of much needed food and energy and toilet paper! "We could eliminate 78 million acres of deforestation - which will help fight global warming! "Every time a fat person takes an une...
The golden rule of NOT EVER tumble drying a Florida man's GOOD shirts has been broken and violated - resulting in two inches of material simply disappearing into thin air. The once comfortable white and blue designer label polo shirts which Dunc...
Yesterday morning during rush hour, New Yorkers in Times Square subway station panicked when svelte middle-aged Brooklynite Bernice Shaw walked up the entire 20-plus steps of a fully functioning escalator. Many (literal) bystanders immediately used t...
The fitness industry is a huge marketplace, drawing countless Americans - a full two-thirds of whom are overweight - into spending billions of dollars annually in the hopes of becoming healthier, fitter, or simply less fat. Unfortunately for health-h...
Companies such as Jacamo and Simply Be are being forced by the government to cover their products in deodorants that smell of sweat, urine and untreated diabetic infections to ensure the public's perception of fat people doesn't change. With those...
I'm a stress-free type of guy who takes life with a carefree attitude. I guess you can say I'm just a laidback and festively plump individual and there is nothing wrong with that. I guarantee it. Think of how beneficial technologies like transportation, cellular devices, and the Internet. As long as someone or something else does the work for me, I'm ready to go. I value transportation. For ex...
Professor Montgomery of a Think Tank located in West Virginia rural area say that they have become alarmed at the both the sightings of UFOs in the sky and a growing list of missing fat people. "We now believe that the connection is that whoever i...
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