(UNEDITED) It matters not if 2 metres or 1.5 metres, a once socially unacceptable habit has now become acceptable in restaurants, pubs, cafes, etc; farting! Before corona, if people felt discomfort forming due to combustible build ups in the belly…
Atlanta, GA - Resident Gastroenterologist at the CDC, Dr. Herb Greencloud, has been studying whether a person can catch COVID-19 from a fart. And the answer is a resounding 'YES!!' Explains Dr. Greencloud, "A fart, as it's commonly known in lay…
A man was counting the cost of assuming that two of his workmates were more liberal than they subsequently turned out to be yesterday, after he ended a lenghty period of sitting down in a computer chair, by standing up, 'cocking' his leg, and releasi...
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Secondhand gas dramatically increases the risk of acute nausea, insult to the nasal lining, asthma attacks, and even asphyxiation, this according to U.S. Surgeon General Vice Admiral Jerome Adams. In a sobering report issued November...
A 56-year-old man living in southeast Asia has told how he woke up this morning to an incredible 'urge to purge' his tanks, and to release unwanted noxious gases into the atmosphere. Moys Kenwood claims that he often has to part his cheeks for a...
Earlier today Sputnik International broke the news of a sensational arrest in which the culprit nearly escaped. The culprit had taken refuge behind a tree in the steep wooded terrain of an area that must remain anonymous, according to police, to a...
There was drama 'on the road' yesterday afternoon, when a motorcyclist drew stares from other road users by making a strange maneuver whilst hurtling along at a speed approaching 50mph. The rider leant over to non-throttle side of the motorbike, a...
"I can't understand it, I am sure we heard somewhere that the late Keith Flint suffered from extreme flatulence," said Ryan Skint, vocalist and dancer with Prodigy tribute band Proctology after he and his three-piece band were booed off stage at Madr...
Australian business men and women (do they fart too?) have discovered a way of ridding their companies of useless unproductive workers, causing a humongous 'stench'. Employees on long contracts who are caught 'resting on their laurels' or, on the...
A man in a boardroom meeting has told how he became aware of an odious smell that had nothing to do with him. Michael Brackley, 26, an executive trainee at Pratley-Whiffer Marketing Consultants explained that he was in a group policy meeting on ma...
Already heralded as an omen for the new year, today’s incident in a major American city (anonymous in this report) has brought significant developments. That the elevator was also crowded has added to how to respond to the problem. Numerous que...
The air turned nasty last week when Scottish darts double world champion Gary Anderson and Dutch opponent Wesley Harms both denied responsibility for creating "rotten egg smells" on the oche. Following his defeat by Anderson 10-2 at the Grand Slam...
Investigators are still examining the strange death of a Dutch cabbage farmer, who died of 'Over-Farting'. It is believed the man had begun a health-kick diet high in anti-oxidants and sulforaphane, believed to prevent a key cause of cancer. Howev...
I am so sick of pretending...so get real. GAS is good. If you can't fart around the ones you love, they can't be trusted and must be killed. I am constantly being surrounded by women that would have me believe that they never blow it out. Really? Give me a god damn break...these same women let strangers wax their crotch, but would never think to let one go in say...a crowded elevator or someth...
Omaha, Nebraska - A lifelong resident here, has created a breakthrough invention for aging adults with memory troubles. Philip Myers, 63, claims The Invention will change people's lives. "It happens to all of us old folks," states Myers. "We're si...
San Francisco, CA (UPU) Scientists here have modeled the first smartass phone. Butt dialing has reached a new level as demonstrated by models walking the catwalk here, wearing nothing but the totally flexible phone screens covering strategic body...
Scientists from the Seattle Technology Institute National College (STINC) have achieved a major breakthrough in recycling technology. Spokesperson Violet Funk explained. "STINC specializes in recycling human and animal waste, with a focus on conve...
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