WASHINGTON, DC (ABSNN) -- Second-hand Estrogen (SHE) is more dangerous to males than even second-hand smoke, says a joint report issued Wednesay by the Enivironmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). "Second-ha...
SAN FRANCISCO - Corporations which fail to use EPA mandated "Carbon-Free Unicorn Gas" may face almost $7 Million in fines as warnings from the Federal Government were issued with the arrival of a new year. Objections are loud and numerous over a requ...
Washington DC: A temporary extension of the payroll tax holiday was signed into law by President Obama such that the 2012 paychecks of working Americans wouldn't change for two-months, while Congress hammers out a one year extension. The media ha...
DETROIT, MI - Soon you won't have to drink juice to get your Agent Orange because it will be in corn. And corn is in almost all the food you buy, most commonly as a syrup. Dr. Umbday Eadhay, family doctor in the rust belt, our source, is going to...
The United Auto Workers (UAW) quietly withdrew their $33M, 1,000 acre resort in Michigan from the market after a private meeting with Obama's 'Green Team" at the EPA which promised a cash infusion to promote more 'green jobs' and pointing to the spr...
WASHINGTON DC - Some people were suspicious when the EPA was allowed to declare Carbon Dioxide as being equally toxic as Cyanide, Mercury, and the pesticide DDT. More people became suspicious when Secretary of the Interior Department Ken Salazar was allowed to falsely represent the findings of seven scientists and engineers as cover for authority to close all US oil production in the Gulf. Aft...
Chicago IL: EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson met with Mayor Richard Daley to discuss a planned investigation of Chicago water quality. The EPA feels that Chicago water may be somewhat responsible for the gangsters and politicians that have emerged in t...
WASHINGTON DC - After the EPA agreed to consider banning lead bullets, the FDA completed their investigation of EPA. The findings of the FDA investigation cited evidence of E. coli present in the mountain of SH*T that the EPA considers to be in th...
THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY (EPA) said today that it will modify its complete ban on beer that was formally proposed on Monday. The EPA now says that beer will only be banned at "outdoor events, where deadly CO2 gases would be released direc...
Having recently declared that carbon dioxide poses a threat to human health and welfare, the Environmental Protection Agency took its first regulatory action today to limit CO2 emissions by outlawing carbonated beer. "We understand that this may not...
WASHINGTON, DC - "The science behind the cataclysmic threat of CO2 has been settled. The elderly have contributed more greenhouse gases to the planet than any other group. Ordinary citizens know the dangers when old people and beans, and cabbage, and...
KNOXVILLE, TN - Christmas came early this year to Tennessee residents living near a coal-fired power plant outside Knoxville, who found a little something extra under their trees: Five hundred million gallons of sludge laden with arsenic, mercury an...
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Earlier this week, the Environmental Protection Agency released the highly anticipated results of a year-long study, confirming a long suspected link between right-wing media blowhards and current global warming trends. Though th...
It began as just a bad idea. Someone at the EPA heard that the government wanted to lower the amounts of methane and other green-house gases to help stop global warming, which according to President Bush doesn't even exist. And so, they decided tha...
TOXIC BOG, New Jersey - In a stunning development today, the EPA obtained an injunction from the Supreme Court shuttering the FDA, a prominent part of the United States Government. Dazed FDA officials wandered about the streets, looking for a gove...
Where is Rev. Jeremiah Wright? After a three day aggressive press junket to disparage Obama, he has apparently slipped into oblivion since becoming persona non grata in the Obama camp for maligning his protégé, Barack Obama, this past weekend.
(Sacramento) - The 15 major wildfires throughout Southern California, which have burned hundreds of square miles and polluted the skies with thick black smoke, have been ruled Acts of God. As a result of the ruling, the California Environmental Prote...
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