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Funny satire stories about Drug testing

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Funny story: F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win

F1: Positive Drug Test For Vettel after Valencia Win

A random urine sample taken from Sebastian Vettel less than an hour after his victory in the Valencia Grand prix has proved positive for a controlled substance. A statement reads; "As part of our ongoing policy of random drug testing a sample was...

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Funny story: Footballer accused of drug taking had 'drunk another player's urine'

Footballer accused of drug taking had 'drunk another player's urine'

An unnamed Premiership football player has been cleared of using a 'specified substance' after a drug test, when he claimed that he had unknowingly ingested the drug in another player's urine. It seems that drinking a small quantity of urine is a...

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Funny story: Man City's Toure Fails Drug Test

Man City's Toure Fails Drug Test

The Premiership was rocked to its very foundations by the news that Man City defender Kolo Toure has failed a drug test. The former Arsenal centre half , generally recognised as one of the best defenders in the country, is said to have gone into h...

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Funny story: Nigerian Athlete Passes Drugs Test

Nigerian Athlete Passes Drugs Test

There was more controversy at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi earlier today when a Nigerian athlete was given the all-clear after a drugs test. This came after earlier news that Nigeria's 400m relay runner Folashade Abugan had failed a drugs test.

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Funny story: Pfizzier unveil new wonder drug

Pfizzier unveil new wonder drug

Multinational drug giant Pfizzier have been searching for the next big drug, and believe that they have found it. The new drug, with the chemical name Codafil-dioxymethyl, is due to go on sale after extensive trials have proven it safe and effect...

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Funny story: Olympic Doping Scandal Jolts Fans

Olympic Doping Scandal Jolts Fans

Lausanne, Switzerland - A committee of officials have dramatically taken away all 100 medals awarded to Chinese athletes at the Beijing Olympics following drug retesting. Committee chairman, Stan Ozolol, defended the controversial decision at a recen...

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Funny story: Global markets in turmoil following announcement of compulsory random drug tests for City traders

Global markets in turmoil following announcement of compulsory random drug tests for City traders

London - (Toxic Mess): "You takin' the piss?" That was the sombre comment from one Canary Wharf trader today following the announcement that compulsory drug testing of City traders forms part of the UK government's bail-out of the banking industry.

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Funny story: Performance-enhancing drugs 'to be tested for athletes'

Performance-enhancing drugs 'to be tested for athletes'

Ahead of the Olympics this summer, the world of athletics has become increasingly concerned about the purity of the drugs that will be competing in Beijing. Many drugs, such as tetrahydrogestrinone (THG) and Modafinil, are thought to contain traces...

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Funny story: Entire Town Arrested for Failing Drug Test

Entire Town Arrested for Failing Drug Test

Micanopy, Florida (IPP) - The entire town of Micanopy was given a drug test by Federal authorities and the Town failed the test.

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Funny story: California Supreme Court 5-2 ruling against workers using medical marijuana leads to mandatory drug testing for comedy writers at TheSpoof.com

California Supreme Court 5-2 ruling against workers using medical marijuana leads to mandatory drug testing for comedy writers at TheSpoof.com

Sacramento, California - The California Supreme Court in 5-2 ruling, denying workplace protection for marijuana use by employees even if prescribed by a doctor for a medical condition, has an immediate impact and far reaching effects at TheSpoof.com...

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Funny story: Tour de France In Disarray As 'Clean Rider' Is Discovered

Tour de France In Disarray As 'Clean Rider' Is Discovered

The Tour de France cycle race was thrown into more chaos last night when it was discovered that one of the cyclists was completely free from drugs.

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