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Funny satire stories about Dorking

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Funny story: Dorking woman calls mountain rescue after a handbag explosion

Dorking woman calls mountain rescue after a handbag explosion

Mum of four, Matilda Entwistle, from Station Road in Dorking*, had to be rescued by three fire engines, fourteen police officers and the entire mountain rescue team from Snowdon, flown in especially on a coastguard Sea King helicopter (pictured).

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Funny story: Dorking Publicist Hires Stately Home For Live Internet Streamed Wild Celebrity Sex Orgy - Nobody Shows Up

Dorking Publicist Hires Stately Home For Live Internet Streamed Wild Celebrity Sex Orgy - Nobody Shows Up

Self styled Dorking based publicist, Damian Pinter, was left counting the cost today, as his latest ambitious project was judged to be little more than an abject failure. Pinter, a youthful, outgoing, 81 year old opportunist revealed that he had h...

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Funny story: Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

Final squad named for 2012 London Paralytics

With less than 60 days to go to the world's greatest sporting event, The London 2012 Paralytic Games, there were few surprises as Great Britain's final team was announced today. The squad was named at the official unveiling of their new training...

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Funny story: Man Increases Brain Power 22% By Smoking Malted Baboon Fur

Man Increases Brain Power 22% By Smoking Malted Baboon Fur

Dorking Zoo Keeper, Stavros Jones, improved his brainpower three-fold by smoking the malted fur from various primates at the zoo he is employed at an un-named conservation park in Surrey. Stavros, a keen botanist when not tending to primates, boas...

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Funny story: Trapdoor found under Dorking Swimming Pool

Trapdoor found under Dorking Swimming Pool

Maintenance crews repairing the hairline fracture in Dorking Swimming Pool have discovered a large trapdoor leading to previously undiscovered underground chambers. "The pool was constructed originally in 1870," said pool manager, Captain Jeremiah...

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Funny story: Dorking WW2 Memorial Society. Shock discovery

Dorking WW2 Memorial Society. Shock discovery

Dorking WW2 Memorial Society discovered two Panzer Elite Troops hiding under the stage in their club house. The men, brewing Ersatz coffee forgot to open a small window they had made in the wall with the result that the smell filled the lounge bar an...

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Funny story: Dorking Man Wins Nobel Prize for Fashion

Dorking Man Wins Nobel Prize for Fashion

Timothy Hardcastle, a graduate of Dorking College of Fashion, surprised everyone with his late entry for the most prestigious fashion award on the globe. Hardcastle, 24, owns the high fashion boutique HEELS located on the very trendy South Stree...

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Funny story: Announcements - Dorking Library Lectures 2012

Announcements - Dorking Library Lectures 2012

Dorking Library has finally announced details of its Summer Lectures schedule, accidentally timed to clash with the Olympic Games and a brand new series of Downton Abbey on the television. 24/05/12 - Secrets Of Successful Stand Up Comedy French stand up comedy legend, Ricardo La Tete reveals how he took the Paris stand up scene by storm, and shares the secrets of his success with the good bu...

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Funny story: Dorking Declares Itself A Nuclear-Free Zone

Dorking Declares Itself A Nuclear-Free Zone

The usually sleepy Surrey town of Dorking has surprised the world by taking centre stage in the arena of international affairs. Political and national security commentators have taken a sharp intake of breath, following the recent announcement tha...

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Funny story: Bank robbed...by a gorilla, nobody saw a thing

Bank robbed...by a gorilla, nobody saw a thing

The Dorking high street bank, Dorking High Street Bank of Dorking, was robbed on Friday morning by a daring bank robber. Although later analysis of the CCTV footage clearly showed the robber, nobody in the bank saw the robber, and the vast majority o...

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Funny story: Dorking Man Ali Baba and the 'Forty Sleeves' win International Design Award

Dorking Man Ali Baba and the 'Forty Sleeves' win International Design Award

Dorking Kebab shop owner Ali Baba today told of his pride at winning an award for his 'Family Octopus Jumper'. Baba, 43, who has owned the Kebab shop in Dorking High St for 6 years, keeps pet octopuses at his family home, but told how they suffere...

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Funny story: Dorking man sells fax machine

Dorking man sells fax machine

Ali Baba, owner of Dorking Kebab House on Dorking High St, announced today that he will be selling his fax machine as he discovered the only other owner of a fax machine in the United Kingdom lived in the flat above his shop. Mr Baba, 43, has owne...

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Funny story: Twitchy Dorking Dentist Calls It A Day

Twitchy Dorking Dentist Calls It A Day

A Dental Surgery on Pulp Street in Dorking closed its doors for the final time today, as Dorking Dentist John Douglas finally decided to call it a day, and hang up his drill. Douglas blamed a chronic lack of patients for the closure, as he admitte...

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Funny story: Dorking Police Arrest Amateur Thesps In Human Trafficking Scandal

Dorking Police Arrest Amateur Thesps In Human Trafficking Scandal

Police raided the Isandlwana Road Community Centre last night and arrested several people allegedly at the centre of a human trafficking scheme. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed response unit, descen...

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Funny story: Councillors Wade-in to Rescue Colony of Endangered Synchronised Swimmers

Councillors Wade-in to Rescue Colony of Endangered Synchronised Swimmers

Dorking Council today revealed plans for a synchronised swimmer's sanctuary to be built at the rear of the Speedy-Fit tyre depot on Bleasdale Street. The sanctuary, which will include a heavily chlorinated Olympic size pool, with an underwater sou...

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Funny story: Dorking Police Impound Pigeons In Drugs Bust

Dorking Police Impound Pigeons In Drugs Bust

Police in Dorking claim to have won a major victory in the war on drugs after impounding a local pigeon racer's birds. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed response unit, visited an address in Mafeking L...

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Funny story: Dorking Police Ransack Photographer's Studio For Porn Evidence

Dorking Police Ransack Photographer's Studio For Porn Evidence

Dorking police today ransacked a local amateur photographer's home and confiscated the contents of his studio. Officers from Dorking Central Division, accompanied by dog handlers and an armed response, unit descended on 27 Ladysmith Crescent short...

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