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Funny satire stories about Diet

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Funny story: Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat

Woman's Overweight Friends Worry that She Might Be Getting a Little Too Fat

Concerned friends of Nanette Harper of Nashville, Tennessee, started to worry that Nanette had exceeded the extra 30 to 40 pounds that they all comfortably carry, and might be getting a little too fat. "It's a delicate subject, and you don't want...

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Funny story: Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

Man Is Eating More Rice Than He Used To

After years of thinking of rice as a bland, almost-tasteless part of a meal, one man has found that he now has a keen enthusiasm for it, and eats it at least three times in every seven-day period. Moys Kenwood, 55, once thought of rice as a sticky...

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Funny story: Carbs Sue Keto Doctor for Slander

Carbs Sue Keto Doctor for Slander

In a groundbreaking nutritional proceeding, carbohydrates have filed a class action lawsuit against Dr. David Flesch, outspoken proponent of the fad ketogenic or "keto" diet, for slander. Specifically, the starches allege that Dr. Flesch, who promote...

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Funny story: Fad Dieter Disappointed to Learn that Fasting Just Means Not Eating

Fad Dieter Disappointed to Learn that Fasting Just Means Not Eating

Health-conscious Krista Martin of Charleston, South Carolina, was intrigued by all the chatter in health clubs regarding the supposed benefits of water fasting, until, to her disappointment, she learned that “fasting” simply meant not eating. “Tal...

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Funny story: Faint of Heart Finally Find a Hobby

Faint of Heart Finally Find a Hobby

Fed up with being warned off interesting-sounding activities like online dating, race car driving and the Peace Corps, millions of Americans identifying as “faint of heart” have finally found a new hobby: water fasting, which involves abstaining from...

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Funny story: FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

FDA Abandons Term "Overweight" in Favor of "Natural Weight"

With over 70 percent of Americans exceeding their ideal weight and 33 percent obese, the Food and Drug Administration has, for logistical purposes, officially abandoned its use of the term "overweight" in favor of the term "natural weight." "We wa...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Prioritizes His Health By Switching from Sprite to Canada Dry

Nashville Man Prioritizes His Health By Switching from Sprite to Canada Dry

After being forced to undergo bypass surgery to address his advanced heart disease, 48-year-old Christian Casey of Nashville, Tennessee, decided it was time to make some real changes to his diet, including switching from drinking Sprite to Canada Dry...

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Funny story: Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

Humans to be fitted with Calorie Limiters to curb obesity

MANDATORY automatic calorie limiters could soon be implanted into all new-born babies within the next three years, as new measures to slash obesity levels are introduced. Some MPs (the slimmer ones) have approved the fitment of a range of new impla...

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Funny story: Vegan Bodybuilder Annoyed at Being Called a Beefcake

Vegan Bodybuilder Annoyed at Being Called a Beefcake

"Stop calling me that!" railed handsome and inordinately well-muscled vegan bodybuilder Jack Henry Chadwick after one of his friends - for the umpteenth time - referred to him as a "beefcake." "It's not funny!" he added, only accelerating the chuc...

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Funny story: Charleston Woman Pretty Sure She's Vegan and Probably Gluten-free

Charleston Woman Pretty Sure She's Vegan and Probably Gluten-free

"I can't stand seafood, and I almost never eat regular bread," said Kendra Burke of Charleston, South Carolina, who's pretty certain she's vegan and probably also gluten-free. "I almost always opt for the wrap instead." Eating healthy in Lowcountr...

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Funny story: A Bag Of Chips Could Be £3 After Brexit

A Bag Of Chips Could Be £3 After Brexit

The price of a bag of chips from a local fish and chip shop is likely to rise to £3 after Britain leaves the EU, voters have been warned, a revelation that struck fear into the hearts of the underclasses. The Prime Minister, Theresa May, told repo...

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Funny story: Medical Association Declares Eggs are Bad, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

Medical Association Declares Eggs are Bad, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays

The Association of Super Intelligent Doctors and Scientists has revealed the findings of a 3 billion-dollar, 20-year study. The research concluded that eating eggs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays is bad for the health. The chief of cardiolog...

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Funny story: FDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational

FDA Urges Americans to Keep Health Goals Aspirational

With the New Year and its associated array of resolutions fast approaching, the Food and Drug Administration has urged Americans contemplating losing weight and getting in shape to keep their health and fitness goals aspirational. “People have the...

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Funny story: Conor McGregor Has Chips Every Night For His Tea

Conor McGregor Has Chips Every Night For His Tea

Conor McGregor, the former UFC featherweight and lightweight champion has allegedly told members of a panel in an interview that he loves chips, and has them every night for his tea. McGregor, 30, was appearing before the Mohegan Tribe Department...

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Funny story: New Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed

New Study Reports that People Aren't Eating Nearly Enough Seaweed

A new study recently published by the Joint Center for Nutrition and Oceanics recently reported that people aren't eating nearly enough seaweed. “It's alarming,” stated JCNO Director John Griebel. “We'd assumed that most Americans were consuming s...

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Funny story: Carnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him

Carnivorous Weightlifter Finds a "Vegan" Diet that Works for Him

Eight months ago, 380-pound competitive powerlifter Craig Ramey, in a quest to pack on more muscle, adopted an entirely carnivorous diet, consisting solely of meat and eggs, occasionally coupled with cheese. That, together with a rigorous steroid reg...

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Funny story: Charleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals

Charleston Woman Finds Success with Intermittent Fasting Between Meals

After years of yo-yo dieting and struggling with her weight, 28-year-old Kendra Burke of Charleston, South Carolina, says that she's found success with intermittent fasting between meals. Intermittent fasting, currently one of the world's most pop...

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