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Funny satire stories about DNA

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Funny story: Missing Workers May Be Connected With Science DNA

Missing Workers May Be Connected With Science DNA

Police in Las Vegas, Nevada are now searching for a "freak" identified by a prostitute after two other prostitutes have been missing for weeks. This lady is in pretty bad shape but has told police a great deal about her attacker. "It was a male...

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Funny story: Scientists discover socialist gene linked to incest and sexually transmitted diseases

Scientists discover socialist gene linked to incest and sexually transmitted diseases

Los Angeles - Researchers at LA's Seedy Sign Eye Hospital & Institute of Medicalology have announced the discovery of a link between incest-related sexually transmitted diseases and the rogue genetic makeup of socialists from Karl Marx to Ecuador...

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Funny story: New Species of Homo Detected: Sapiens May No Longer Top the Food Chain

New Species of Homo Detected: Sapiens May No Longer Top the Food Chain

Scientists in the High Plains of America have discovered that the human family tree has many more branches and tangles than previously thought. DNA analysis from a group of humans heavier than Robustus, stouter than Australopithecus,-- and with more...

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Funny story: A Scottish Drone Lands Outside of Dover, Delaware

A Scottish Drone Lands Outside of Dover, Delaware

DOVER, Delaware - Law enforcement officials in Dover have confirmed that a drone that crashed on Bradford Frissyfrock's Farm did in fact originate from outside the United States. Officer Ty Bolero, 43, with the Dover Police Department stated that...

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Funny story: Giant mutant fly created by Large Hadron Collider

Giant mutant fly created by Large Hadron Collider

Urgent appeals for a very big fly swatter have been made by the LHC team in Switzerland afer a particle from an accelerator collided with a stray fly. The 10 metre wingspan fly soared out of the collision chamber and ate the operator's Coronation...

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Funny story: O.J. Simpson Now Says He Fathered Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian

O.J. Simpson Now Says He Fathered Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian

LOVELOCK, Nevada - The most famous inmate at Lovelock Correctional Center, O.J. Simpson, has just dropped quite a bombshell. Speaking with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk in an isolated area of the prison facility the former NFL great mad...

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Funny story: Ann Coulter's Birthplace Home Has Been Discovered

Ann Coulter's Birthplace Home Has Been Discovered

WHITE PLAINS, New York - Two reporters with National Focus Magazine have just discovered the actual birthplace of Republican political commentator Ann Coulter. Durango Tucker and Jefferson Sierra had heard that Miss Coulter was not really born in...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

Isle of Wight News - DNA: Dogs Not Allowed

In a bold move, the Isle of Wight councillor, David Pugh, has elected to spend his twenty-million pound lottery win on putting every dog on the island onto a doggy DNA database. "I was going to buy a bigger house," he said. "However, I already hav...

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Funny story: Horse DNA Found In Richard III

Horse DNA Found In Richard III

Tesco has shut down its Richard III outlet in Leicester after horse DNA was found in the remains of the last Planted King. The Food Standards Agency, who missed the DNA finding due to cutbacks, advised anyone who had bought Richard III steaks (at...

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Funny story: President Obama Pushes Glove Control Legislation

President Obama Pushes Glove Control Legislation

Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Jay Carney announced that President Obama has asked Congress not to pursue an assault weapons ban, but instead work on Glove Control legislation. Many conservative Democrats and Republicans have a hard ti...

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Funny story: Housemate found in Beefburger

Housemate found in Beefburger

Shoppers in England and Ireland today were shocked to discover that Beefburgers stocked by many of the leading supermarkets have been found to contain meat from former 'Big Brother' housemate Jade Goody. DNA testing by the Irish Food Standard Agen...

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Funny story: Texas vet says DNA proves Bigfoot is part human, 'At least his penis is'

Texas vet says DNA proves Bigfoot is part human, 'At least his penis is'

DALLAS, Texas (ABSNN) - Texas, long the foe of evolution, is back in the news today thanks to a report from a Texas veterinarian who told reporters that DNA samples prove that the legendary "Bigfoot is part human-well, at least Bigfoot's penis is hum...

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Funny story: Body under Leicester parking lot not Richard III's: It's Jimmy Hoffa's!

Body under Leicester parking lot not Richard III's: It's Jimmy Hoffa's!

LEICESTER, England (ABSNN) - A whole lot of people who believed the male skeleton found beneath a parking lot in this English city was King Richard III, who was slain during the War of the Roses, an English Civil War, were disappointed when DNA testi...

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Funny story: Scousers descended from Missing Link new survey says

Scousers descended from Missing Link new survey says

Liverpool - Cretinaceous Era ne'er-do-well nomads first settled in Sefton's Lunt Meadows circa 5,800 BC according to a new report tracing human/alien hybrid habitits - er...habitats! - north of the Watford Gap. Consultant archaeologist Prof Doug T...

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Funny story: Elvis reborn in Germany

Elvis reborn in Germany

Staff at Graceland today were shocked when the US army revealed that a DNA sample taken from a visitor to an Army Base in Germany matched that of the King. Elvira Muntz from Berlin who works part time as a waitress was hired as part of a staff for...

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Funny story: Why Bigfoot Hides; The Name Game

Why Bigfoot Hides; The Name Game

Is he shy? Too busy to engage with others? Fearful of capture? The surprising answer is: None of the above. Bigfoot has been in touch with a Spoof reporter, explaining for the first time why he is in hiding. It started with a simple te...

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Funny story: Polar Bears are the latest evolution lie!

Polar Bears are the latest evolution lie!

Evolutionists have been found to be lying again, this time it's Polar Bears who have been left out in the cold! Just last year, 'scientists' (ahem) produced DNA 'evidence' which they said at the time proved that brown bears magicked into polar bea...

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