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Cop this!

Funny story: Cop this!

In a last ditch attempt to totally wipe out Police credibility in the UK Scotland Yard is set to hire recruits with criminal convictions in a new drive to put 5,000 extra crooks on the street. Not any old crooks, but a large percentage of ethnic croo...

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New Robot Dog To Fight New League Of Crime

Funny story: New Robot Dog To Fight New League Of Crime

Mexico's criminal underworld has taken a dark turn with the rise of new criminals known as, 'super cyber scientific secret base bad guys.' The fight against crime called for an out of towner. An unknown police man who believes his dog is a robot.

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Picking The Good Chunks Out Of Ice Cream To Be Reclassified As Felony

Funny story: Picking The Good Chunks Out Of Ice Cream To Be Reclassified As Felony

Washington D.C. - The criminal act of probing through a carton of ice cream to find and eat the good chunky pieces will become a felony on January 1, 2015. The crime is currently classified as a misdemeanor. While the change covers every flavor a...

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Man Loses Hands

Funny story: Man Loses Hands

Peter has lost his hands and needs help finding them! He has offered some thing or another for the return of the hands but we don't know for sure because the reward notice he's been sticking to lampposts with his head are completely indecipherable. T...

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Santa Barbara Killer's Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors

Santa Barbara, CA - As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation's elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren't nearly as smart as they are. Elliott Rodger killed six people la...

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Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

Funny story: Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

This weekend's attack in Isla Vista is now being seen as akin to the Adam Lanza massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, which cost the lives of twenty children and six of their adult protectors. The Isla Vista murderer, Elliott Rodger, has a count of si...

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California Considers Move to Ban 'Blonde Sluts' After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any

Isla Vista, CA - A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get "retribution", as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on one creature in particular:...

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Steubenville Prepares To Purge; Pull Up Drawbridges, Set Force Fields

SORRY 911 IS OUT OF SERVICE AGAIN, STEUBENVILLE, OHIO -- City council is discussing plans to initiate a monthly purge in which citywide crime of all sorts would be legal from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. the last day of each month. "Probably wouldn't notice...

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Crystal County Sheriff Disputes Allegation of Probable Failure - Suspect In Custody

Funny story: Crystal County Sheriff Disputes Allegation of Probable Failure - Suspect In Custody

Crystal Cove, Ohio - Crystal County Sheriff Tom Jones held a press conference this morning to dispute an implication that his department would never have stopped local criminal activity, and that an outside criminal investigative organization was req...

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Blindness Could Lead To Not Being Able To See Things

Funny story: Blindness Could Lead To Not Being Able To See Things

Although yet to be confirmed by independent scientific corroboration, a research group from Chadswhipple Crosshire Down By The Lake Rockshire University, outside London, has asserted that blindness could have a definite connection to someone not bein...

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NY man wrongfully acquitted sues state for $25M

Funny story: NY man wrongfully acquitted sues state for $25M

A Brooklyn man wants a million dollars for every year the state did not lock him up in prison. Dean Dork, who spent almost a quarter-century at liberty and free after being found not guilty for a crime he committed, has hit the state with a $25 m...

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Crime Stoppers director bites

MY AM ME, WHO YOU BE, FL -- Your identity may not be safe from the National Security Agency (NSA) or on the Obummercare web site, but it's secure with the Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers, the executive director of which recently took a bite out of crime wh...

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Mississippi Judge Accused of Misapplying 3-Strikes Statutes

Whitecracker, MS (Reuters) - A Caucasian judge in rural Mississippi, who is also a volunteer pee-wee baseball league umpire, has been accused of over-stepping his judicial bounds by sentencing Black and Hispanic pee-weers who have have gone down swi...

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Strange and Unexplained Phenomena Reported by Metro Area Youth

Are the dead rising from local cemeteries and terrorizing our local youth population? You could come to that conclusion after speaking with several local young people who have reported not only "ghostly" and unexplained phenomena, but a steady inc...

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Reporter gives left arm for story

CHICAGO, IL -- PBS TV reporter Miles O'Brien recently gave his left arm for a news story. Two weeks ago, he was filming an investigative report about authorities' suspicion that photographic equipment was being stolen by members of an Asian crime...

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Spirit of Justice Found with Self Inflicted Wounds

WASHINGTON - Security guards in the Robert F. Kennedy Department of Justice Building have found what appear to be self-inflicted wounds on the Spirit of Justice this morning, during a routine inspection of her and her counterpart, Majesty Law.

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Police: Sword Wielding Man Demanded Free Tacos

Funny story: Police: Sword Wielding Man Demanded Free Tacos

"Thou must stuff thine tortilla full of tasty meat and cheese!" shouted the assailant, Don A. Blaid. Apparently police in Texas said they arrested Mr. Blaid after his use of a sword in an attempt to coerce a waitress into giving him free tacos.

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Walmart Spokesman Loses Control Punches Reporter

Funny story: Walmart Spokesman Loses Control Punches Reporter

New York - At a press conference today Walmart spokesman Scott A. Reid faced hostile questions from gathered reporters. The press were called so that Mr. Reid could justify the U.S. retailers decline to aid factory victims in Bangladesh by participa...

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