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An urban fable: It's all in the name

Funny story: An urban fable: It's all in the name

Damien Dread had a weird name but he was kind of proud of it. You could say he "grew" into the name over the years. As a little kid in elementary school, Damien Dread was teased unceasingly about his surname. Some wiseguy by the name of Tommy Truesgood looked up the word "dread" on an online dictionary from his cell phone and discovered that "dread" meant to "anticipate with great apprehension or...

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Fool-Aid on Sixty Seventh Street

Funny story: Fool-Aid on Sixty Seventh Street

Residents of South Palm Beach Florida were awoken by sounds they described as, "disturbing", early Monday around 2:00am. The incident took place in what, according to neighbors is generally a quiet residential area. Police say a large gent...

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Police issue warning of a gang of 'criminal masterminds'

Funny story: Police issue warning of a gang of 'criminal masterminds'

Police from several forces have joined together to urge people to be on the lookout for a gang of crooks after a spate of robberies, thefts and other crimes which have left thousands of people penniless and terrorized many others. Throughout the c...

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Linwood Mcgill jailed for knife attack on friend Marmaduke Bunker because he "refused to share his Malteasers"

Funny story: Linwood Mcgill jailed for knife attack on friend Marmaduke Bunker because he "refused to share his Malteasers"

A drug-crazed man from Folkestone who launched an "unprovoked, frenzied and violent" attack with a knife has today been jailed for 15 years. Linwood Mcgill, 28, stabbed friend Marmaduke Bunker four times in a flat in Cheriton Road in August last y...

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Beware The Sabre-Tooth Lawyer!

Funny story: Beware The Sabre-Tooth Lawyer!

A man thought to be "Lawyer" was spotted lurking outside Midlands Bank in Kensington, London, yesterday. It is not known what type of Lawyer he was... but all are dangerous. This one was heavily disguised in a pinstripe suit and carried an umbrella a...

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Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Funny story: Major US retailers endanger customers with fraudulent, dangerous products

Putting profit over integrity, four major U. S. retailers have potentially endangered the health of millions of their customers, New Yawk's state attorney general whines. The retailers, identified as Wally World, Wally Green's, Bull's-Eye, and G &...

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Retaliation for The Interview Obama's Urban Renewal Plan

Funny story: Retaliation for The Interview Obama's Urban Renewal Plan

President Obama has announced that his administration has coordinated with Sony to release their controversial comedy "The Interview" in selected theatres located in neighborhoods with high crime rates targeted for urban renewal across the nation inc...

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Thief in red van steals letters from post boxes

POLICE have launched a man-hunt following the theft of letters and parcels from postal Pillar Boxes across the UK. Members of the public reported to Police a red van drawing up at double yellow lines, shortly vacated by a blue-capped man in his 40...

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Police now searching random 70's pop singers houses in hope to find evidence of sexual offences

Funny story: Police now searching random 70's pop singers houses in hope to find evidence of sexual offences

In a bold attempt to clamp down on historic sexual offences against minors or women, the London Metropolitan Police have decided to randomly searched all homes of pop singers and TV presenters from the 1970's, with the aim of finding some evidence of...

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Woman chains her menstrual cycle to a lamp post. It is stolen anyway.

Funny story: Woman chains her menstrual cycle to a lamp post. It is stolen anyway.

A young woman in London is distraught today after discovering that her menstrual cycle has been stolen. Lillet Adams had chained the cycle to a lamp post while she went in to Boots to buy some urgent supplies, but came out to find a thief had made of...

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Cop this!

Funny story: Cop this!

In a last ditch attempt to totally wipe out Police credibility in the UK Scotland Yard is set to hire recruits with criminal convictions in a new drive to put 5,000 extra crooks on the street. Not any old crooks, but a large percentage of ethnic croo...

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New Robot Dog To Fight New League Of Crime

Funny story: New Robot Dog To Fight New League Of Crime

Mexico's criminal underworld has taken a dark turn with the rise of new criminals known as, 'super cyber scientific secret base bad guys.' The fight against crime called for an out of towner. An unknown police man who believes his dog is a robot.

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Picking The Good Chunks Out Of Ice Cream To Be Reclassified As Felony

Funny story: Picking The Good Chunks Out Of Ice Cream To Be Reclassified As Felony

Washington D.C. - The criminal act of probing through a carton of ice cream to find and eat the good chunky pieces will become a felony on January 1, 2015. The crime is currently classified as a misdemeanor. While the change covers every flavor a...

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Man Loses Hands

Funny story: Man Loses Hands

Peter has lost his hands and needs help finding them! He has offered some thing or another for the return of the hands but we don't know for sure because the reward notice he's been sticking to lampposts with his head are completely indecipherable. T...

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Santa Barbara Killer's Motive Baffles Eggheads, Know-It-All Professors

Santa Barbara, CA - As the country tries to make sense of the recent tragedy in California, the nation's elite are always quick to point out the answers to those of us who aren't nearly as smart as they are. Elliott Rodger killed six people la...

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Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

Funny story: Isla Vista shooter accumulates points toward l'enfant horrible trophy

This weekend's attack in Isla Vista is now being seen as akin to the Adam Lanza massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, which cost the lives of twenty children and six of their adult protectors. The Isla Vista murderer, Elliott Rodger, has a count of si...

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California Considers Move to Ban 'Blonde Sluts' After Man Goes on Rampage Because He Never Got Any

Isla Vista, CA - A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get "retribution", as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on one creature in particular:...

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Steubenville Prepares To Purge; Pull Up Drawbridges, Set Force Fields

SORRY 911 IS OUT OF SERVICE AGAIN, STEUBENVILLE, OHIO -- City council is discussing plans to initiate a monthly purge in which citywide crime of all sorts would be legal from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. the last day of each month. "Probably wouldn't notice...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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